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Carol is literally always injecting Zosia with random substances and blowing her up with explosives. Tom & Jerry type relationship

[after the Joining]

Carol: Everyone around here is crazy!

Zosia: That’s not true! Let me put down my bag of rats and explain why.

Helen: I told you to stop doing that with the knives.

Carol: But Wolverine has-

Helen: I said stop.

Helen: Being the little spoon when you’re taller is the best because it's like wearing a backpack that loves you.

Zosia: People who disapprove of lying simply do not have a storyteller’s soul.

Carol: We can't all be social butterflies. For some of us, interacting with organisms is difficult.

Helen: It might help if you stopped calling it 'interacting with organisms.'

Carol: Look, last night was a mistake.

Zosia: A sexy mistake.

Carol: No, just a regular mistake.

Carol: We can work on some of the ideas I've been suggesting.

Zosia: Those aren't ideas so much as they are random acts of violence.

Carol, after the Joining: I did that adult thing you can do where you buy an entire cake and just eat it. I’m eating an entire cake.

[later]

Carol: Update - there is more cake than I imagined.

[even later]

Carol: I see now why Helen didn’t let me do this.

Helen: Carol is my wife and I love her, no matter how many times I’m charged as an accessory.

Carol: Ugh, I hate everything.

Zosia: Well, according to this drawing I drew of us smiling and holding hands, that isn't true.

Zosia: This cake is good!

Carol: Zosia, that's a sponge.

Helen: I would do anything for you, babe.

Carol: Tell me my hair is better than yours.

Helen: I would do almost anything for you, babe.

Carol: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

Carol: *bites her nails*

Helen: *takes her hand and kisses her fingertips to make her stop*

Carol:

Carol: *starts to bite her lips*

Carol: My wife is out of town, so dinner is either cheese or spend $87 on DoorDash.

Carol: Alright, let me hit you with a little analogy. Are you familiar with race cars?

Zosia: Formula 1 or stock?

Carol:

Carol: That’s already way more than I know about it.

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