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@incorrect-portal-quotes
Heyo, I just wanna say I adore these quotes and they make me laugh. My ask is that I have some Dragon designs for the portal characters and I was hoping I could use them to draw a few of these quotes, if that is OK with you.
Absolutely! That sounds really cool. I love dragon design concepts.
Wheatley: I don't know how much longer I can pretend to know what engineers do like I genuinely have no clue what engineering even means.
Chell: My dad was an engineer. He'd just go to work and come back idk.
Wheatley: Wait, so you're gonna do coke?
Chell: No, we're gonna do molly.
Doug: It's like ecstasy. MDMA.
Wheatley: I thought MDMA was that extreme fighting.
Doug: No.
Wheatley: Wait... do they do coke and then they fight?
Wheatley: Don't go through GLaDOS's chamber.
Chell: Okay.
Wheatley: I cannot stress enough that we should not go through her chamber.
Chell: Alright.
Wheatley: Okay, now we need to find an escape elevator that goes to the surface.
Chell: How do we get to one?
Wheatley: Okay, you're gonna laugh,
Cave Johnson: I'm smarter than most people by the way, so I discovered a new species this morning. They are called biowolves and they live in my blood and eat germs.
Caroline: This man plagiarized my paper. It's being reviewed right now and they're actually called bloodwolves.
Fact: Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color
Space: Star fruit?
Wheatley: So close! That is a shape.
is there any way to tell who submitted a post? i ask because a very familiar post from 2018 rolled across my dash and i think... i think i submitted it but i'm not sure because i have Dumb Forgetful Bitch Disease syndrome.
I tag the url, so if there's no url in the tags, it's a mod post. I saw someone (possibly you) rb'd and tagged the country music/Johnny Cash quote wondering if they submitted it and forgot, but that was my post based off a conversation with my roommate's boyfriend. But if it's a different quote, let me know! Tagging slips through the cracks sometimes but I usually remember who submitted something or if it was a mod so I can help.
-mod avi, who would like to start regularly posting again and thanks you for reminding her that this blog exists
Doug: What's Chell watching over there that's making her cry?
GLaDOS: Great British Bake-off.
Doug: Makes sense. Last week an old man on there made a Swiss roll that made me feel something for once in my life.
Wheatley: And to think, that's how they choose the next prime minister.
Cave: I don't need some little "vaccine." I've got an immune system made of solid Aperture grade steel. And if that doesn't work and they gotta send me to the iron lung, I say let them. But I'm telling you they won't have to. I'm calling that bluff right now--
Caroline: I'll give you a sticker if you shut up and just get your polio vaccine.
Cave: Deal.
GLaDOS: there’s about 20 different ways you could’ve done that.
GLaDOS: You chose the Wheatley Way™️
Caroline: Uh... What're you doing there, Mr. Johnson?
Cave: Shining a laser pointer at the sky. Why?
So. I let things get a little out of hand in the submissions box. I’ve been... tired. So if you sent something in, it’s probably in there. Buried beneath... everything. It’ll get posted. I promise.
All of my life, the scientists have been telling me what I can’t do. ‘GLaDOS, you can’t show your butt.’ ‘GLaDOS, you can’t kill people.’
GLaDOS, probably
scientists: nooo you can’t just keep killing us we need you to run the facility and do testing!!!
GLaDOS: hehe neurotoxin go brrr
Fact core: Fact: Since roosters crow at an average of 130 decibels, their external auditory canals close off completely when they fully open their beak. This prevents them from damaging their own hearing when they crow.
GLaDOS: This isn't exclusive to chickens, by the way! There are heaps of human people who act like they can't hear themselves when they open their mouths, too.
Cave: Michigan. It's got two parts: the upsy part, and the downsy part. You wouldn't think it, but there's a handful of folks living up in that upsy part. How they got up there, that's beyond me. One of the great mysteries.
Caroline: Mr. Johnson, Aperture Science is located in the upsy part.
Cave: Well I'll be damned.
GLaDOS, to Wheatley: You never fully think about the consequences of your own actions, do you?
GLaDOS: You don't even have a frontal lobe.
