Incorrect POTC Quotes

Sparrington Supremacy

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Barbossa: ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT.

Barbossa: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Jack: Have you heard of Murphy’s law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong?

James: Yeah, I have.

Jack: Have you heard of Cole’s law?

James: Is this a joke about coleslaw?

Jack: …maybe.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Jack: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?

James: It’s just you.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Will: So when are we gonna tell them?

Elizabeth: Just give them a minute.

Jack: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Jack: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?

Will: *raises hand*

Elizabeth: *puts their hand down*

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Jack: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them.

Jack: On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

James, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Jack: Yes, I'm adopting Will and you cowards can't tell me no!

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Jack: What? I'm not aggressive!

Will: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?

Jack: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Jack: So, what are we doing?

James: Wasting our lives.

Jack: I meant for lunch...

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Jack: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?

Will: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Jack: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

James, stirring their coffee: I prefer it with salt.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Will: Why is James crying on the floor?

Elizabeth: They're drunk.

Will: And?

Elizabeth: They saw a picture of Jack's spouse.

Will: But they're Jack's spouse.

Elizabeth: I know.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

*The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting*

Jack: *walks in and sits on James' lap*

The Squad: …

Elizabeth: Why are you sitting there?

Jack: There’s no free seats!

Wil: But we made sure there was enough room for-

James: *hugs Jack tightly* There are no free seats.

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Will: I'm cold

Elizabeth: Here, take my jacket

James: I'm cold too

Jack: What do you want me to do? I can't control the weather

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

James: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?

Jack: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt!

[incorrect-potc-quotes]

Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Jack: No.

*later*

James, bailing them out: What the fuck?

Jack: It was funny