Kenny Should Be Protected

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Eric: What do you think Kenny will do for a distraction?

Kyle: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Stan: ... or they could do that.

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Kyle, trying to convince Butters to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Stan: And loud!

Kenny: And grumpy!

Eric: And oblivious to reality!

Butters :

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Kyle: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!

Eric: To the city?

Kyle: Yeah, no matter what!

Butters : Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?

Kyle: I... I don't know!

Stan: Oh come off it, be serious!

Kyle: I am serious!

Stan: You're insane!

Kenny: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Everyone:

Kyle: What???

Kenny: Or maybe it was a basset hound!

Stan, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

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Kyle: Wake me up…

Stan: Before you go go!

Kenny: When September ends…

Eric: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

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Kyle: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Eric: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Kyle: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING KENNY WITH ME

Stan, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

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Kyle: Can I be frank with you guys?

Stan: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Kenny: Can I still be Kenny?

Eric: Shh, let Frank speak.

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Kyle, about Stan: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Kenny: Are we stealing them?

Eric: New or used?

Kyle: Wonderful responses, both of you.

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Kyle: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Kyle and Stan, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Eric: Our turn, Kenny One, two, three- vanilla!

Kenny, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

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our prompt:

*Kyle's helping Stan out after they get injured, while the others are watching*

Kenny: How does Stan look?

Eric: A little better than you, actually.

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Kyle: I think Eric was right.

Stan: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Kenny: They wouldn't do that.

Eric: You're right, Kenny. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Eric: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Eric Told You So' on the back*

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Kenny: Kyle isn’t answering their phone

Stan: I’ll call

Kenny: Eric and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Kyle: Hello?

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Kenny: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Kyle: Is it me, Kenny?

Kenny: No, it’s not you.

Stan: Is it me, Kenny?

Kenny: It’s not you either.

Eric: Is it me, Kenny?

Kenny:

Kenny, mockingly: Is IT mE Kenny?

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Kenny: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Kyle: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Stan: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Eric: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Kenny: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.