I Like Vampires, Okay

She/he “…smart, gay, vampire…”

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Welcome, Motherfuckers

I felt like I needed an intro post

What’s up people— I’m Julian (she/he)

This blog will have incorrect quotes, obviously. Here are my tags:

#tvc incorrect quotes - my typical incorrect quotes

#iwtv incorrect quotes - the old version of the above(replaced by #tvc incorrect quotes as of May 9)

#not a quote - don’t think too hard about this one

Additional stuff:

- Mod is a minor, so leave as needed~

- You can submit quotes if you think up anything!!!

- This blog is mainly for the books, but mod also likes the show and will take inspo from that as well

Okay I think that’s all; I hope my blog gives you some laughs or at least a smile in your day :)

(Pretty heart line thing by @uzmacchiato)

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

[back in the day]

Armand: I love you. You know that, right?

Armand: I would kill for you, Lestat.

Lestat: …

Armand: Please ask me to kill for you

Lestat: No Armand

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Louis: Sometimes I stay awake at night because I don’t have a favorite color and I’m afraid I don’t have a real personality

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Armand, answering the phone: …Lestat?

Lestat: Hey, Armand… remember when I said I’d have a calm night out for once?

Armand:

Lestat: So, I’m in jail.

Armand: *hangs up*

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Armand, holding a bowl of cereal in one hand and a coffee pot in the other: what if, instead of milk, i put coffee in my cereal.

Daniel, prying the coffee pot from Armand’s hands: What if you didn’t?

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Louis, angrily: Armand. Please get Daniel to stop teaching Lestat slang! If I have to hear him say one more “YEET,” I will, as Daniel puts it, THROW HANDS.

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Daniel: I’ll tell you, if sleeping were an Olymic sport…

Daniel: I’d lose at that too. I haven’t slept for three days.

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Armand: Lestat isn’t picking up his phone.

Louis: I’ll try.

Armand: I’ve been calling him for 45 minutes, I don’t thi—

Lestat, picking up after not even one ring: Louis? Hello? Are you hurt? Is everything alright?

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

[on Tumblr]

Daniel: GUESS WHO JUST GOT SOME APPLE FLAVORED SHAMPOO

Daniel: WAIT NO I MEANT SCENTED

Daniel: DON’T WORRY IT TASTES LIKE APPLES TOO

Daniel: i just threw up

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Lestat: You’d better be drinking enough human blood, or I will force you to go to bed at a healthy hour.

Louis: Are you trying to threaten me to improve my diet by threatening to improve my sleep?

Lestat, waving his hand: It’s called multitasking.

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Santiago: Armand, would you rather kill Lestat or—

Armand: Kill Lestat.

Santiago: …I didn’t even say the other option.

Armand: Kill Lestat.

Lestat, sitting off to the side: I’m feeling a bit unsafe.

Armand: As you should.

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Daniel: Armand and I played Scrabble. It was a nightmare.

Louis: What do you mean? Scrabble’s nice.

Daniel: Not when you’re playing with Armand. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog”.

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

[Human AU]

Armand: My hands are cold.

Daniel: Oh, here! *holds Armand’s hands*

Armand:

Armand: My lips are cold too.

Daniel: *confused, but shrugs it off and puts his hands on Armand’s lips*

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Louis, bad at flirting: I like your name.

Lestat, equally bad at flirting: Thanks, I got it for my birthday.

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

[not canon-verse, not any verse, actually, but it doesn’t need context to be funny, right]

Louis: *goes to the Theatre des Vampires with a sign reading “Prom?”*

Armand, looking out the window: Oh my Satan, yes!!!

Louis: NO! TELL LESTAT!

Armand: Lestat! I’m going to prom with your boyfriend!

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Armand: You don’t want Louis to die.

Lestat: Right.

Armand: And I don’t want Louis to die.

Lestat: Right.

Armand: So we just have to make sure Louis doesn’t want Louis to die. Easy!

Lestat: Have you met Louis???

[incorrect-vampire-stuff]

Louis: I love you guys. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Lestat: We’re the best thing that’s ever happened to you?

Louis: Yes!

Claudia: Well, damn, I’m starting to feel really sorry for you.