Incorrect-Aph-State-Quotes

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Ohio: How long do you think I could survive in a refrigerator?

New Jersey: I- I actually don’t know the answer to that one. Wanna test it out?

Ohio: Yes!

*Later*

Delaware: Hey New Jersey have you seen Ohio at all?

New Jersey: *Looking at their phone* Yes, exactly 1 hour 34 minutes and 6 seconds ago.

Delaware: Why did you do it to the last second?

*Muffled thump of something hitting the inside of the refrigerator door*

New Jersey: 1 hour 34 minutes and 12 seconds is the answer!!

*Delaware opens the door and Ohio falls out*

Delaware: …

Delaware: I’m telling America

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Missouri: *Under a bunch of snow* Day 23 in the chamber. They ain’t found me yet, but when they do their gonna be surprised.

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America: What are we having for dinner?

South US: *Staring at the food he just burnt* ……Regret.

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Listen to Sugar-crash for song it goes with.

*New Jersey walks by with an axe*

South US: *Not even looking up* Where are you going?

New Jersey: To kill New York!

South US: Oh, have fun then.

South US: ……..

South US: *Gets up to run after her* NEW JERSEY NOOO!!!!

*Petrified screaming in the distance*

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New Jersey: ARE YOU-

Ohio: Fucking-

New Jersey: KIDDING ME!!!!

Pennsylvania: Why did Ohio just curse for you?

New Jersey: Because America banned me from cursing for a week.

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South US: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

America: Wow. They sound stupid.

South US: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

America: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

South US: I guess you’re right. *Builds up the courage* Hey America, I love you.

America: See! Just say that!

South US: *Full on done with life* Holy fucking shit.

America: If that flies over their head then, sorry South US, but they're too dumb for you.

South US: America.

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Alaska: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gunna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?

America: Why should I feed you if your just gunna die anyways?

Alaska:

Alaska: I'll go make my bed-

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South US: There's nothing to do....

America: You can wash the dishes you promised to wash about a week ago.

South US: *Pulls out his phone* Nevermind.

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Iowa: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?

Wisconsin: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

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Midwest: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?

Illinois: *Sitting down, surrounded by corpses* I won Mafia, that’s what.

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South US: Who hurt you?

America: *Snorting* What, do you want a list?

South US: ...Yes, actually.

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South US: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!

America: Okay, can you do the dishes?

South US: No.

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America: Did it hurt when you fell-

South US: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

America: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

South US: ...

America: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

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Random Creep: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing.

America: Are you a software update? Because not right now.

South US: Damn. I can’t even kill you now because he already did.

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South US: America is playing hard to get.

South US: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of!

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*Pennsylvania comes running into the room crying and hugs America*

Pennsylvania: *Sobbing into America’s shirt* America!! My boyfriend just broke up with me!

America: *Hugging her back* It’s fine, you didn’t need him anyway.

America: *Leaning into a walkie talkie* We got a code break up.

South US: *Over the walkie talkie* They will never find the body.

Pennsylvania: What did you say America?

America: Nothing!!

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*Trying to cheer Pennsylvania up after a break up*

New Hampshire: You broke up with them for a reason.

Pennsylvania: I know, I know. I’m just so tired of missing them. Tired of wondering why they haven’t called. Why haven’t they called?

Delaware: Maybe because you told them not to.

Pennsylvania: What are you, the Memory Police?