Incorrect background kids quotes

a blog dedicated to fake quotes by the background kids in South Park

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Submission Guideline

You can submit incorrect quotes here! But first, here are some rules to follow:

This is a blog dedicated to the background kids. Quotes submitted should have them as the focus (basically any kids that aren't the main four boys). Other characters can be included as long as the focus remains on the background kids.

Given the nature of the series, dark, offensive and politically incorrect jokes are allowed, but no actual slurs please. No quotes that promote actual bigotry too.

Shipping quotes are welcomed, please be respectful of people's ships and don't start arguments if someone submits a ship you don't like.

Make sure the quote you are submitting hasn't been posted already.

If possible, add the source of the quote in the tags. Also, add the characters full names in the tags in case it's a name shared by multiple characters.

If you have any questions regarding the blog feel free to ask us here. We also have a discord server dedicated to the background character!

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DogPoo Petuski: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Lizzy:

Lizzy: Why are you eating dirt? DogPoo Petuski: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

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Tolkien: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Clyde: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Tolkien: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Craig: Hmm… I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free… not sure where you're getting your facts from…

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Lizzy: Nobody cares.

Vampire: Be silent, keep your forked tongue behind its teeth, I have not passed through fire and death to exchange words with a witless worm.

Lizzy: Blow me.

(Source: bigboy and sean ranklin jr on youtube(?))

LOL! I imagined Lizzy and Count Ravyncrowe?

But, officially Kenny would have a stamp of approval for Lizzy!

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Fosse McDonald: i know if i was a woman i would instinctively do the laundry Bill Allen: that was extremely offensive you know Fosse McDonald: i know Bill Allen: i liked it Fosse McDonald: i know Source: Marik Plays Bloodlines - 6 - LittleKuriboh

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Craig: Men can only eat male animals, women can only eat female animals.

Tolkien: What about non-binary people?

Craig: I don't fucking know... oysters.

Wendy: Gender is a social construct and different species don't have the same concept of gender as humans.

Tolkien: We can eat whatever we want.

Craig: You have to eat oysters.

Source is unvisitableroom and frogqie on tumblr

Tolkien is non-binary!! 👀👌

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Wendy: Your insolence goes too far

Lizzy: Wrong! It can go a lot further

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Porsche: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen. Mercedes: That’s a snake.

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Clyde: Hey, Craig! If Tolkien and I were drowning who would you save?

Craig: You guys can’t swim?

Clyde: It’s a hypothetical question, answer it!

Craig: My time and effort.

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Tweek: Why does Craig always do the laundry so loudly?

Tricia: So everyone knows that no one helps them out in the house.

Craig, in the distance: slams the washing machine shut

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Bebe Stevens: slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading. Heidi Turner: This is light?!

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Tolkien: And this is Craig! Craig loves his personal space.

Tweek: *walks into the room and hugs Craig tightly*

Tolkien: This is Tweek. Tweek also loves Craig's personal space.

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Craig: im gay

Jimmy: ermmmm ayo??? 🤨🤨🤨 Kinda sus (like in among us impostor) girl! 😂 Caught in 4k 😂📸

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Craig: “You support gay rights so you must be gay.”

Craig: I support animal rights, do I look like a fucking alpaca to you?

[Later]

Craig: So turns out I’m actually gay

Tolkien: Holy shit, how'd this alpaca learn how to type?

Clyde: Diversity wins! The alpaca is gay!

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Esther: It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield. Red McAuthur: Opposite over hypotenuse. Red McAuthur: Dipshit.

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Gregory, pointing a camera at The Mole: There they are, our sweet baby. The Mole, holding a cigarette and a beer: What-?

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Powder: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons! Lizzy: Bet you I can! Tolkien: sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper.