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these probably happened

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[When Luuk first came on loan]

Luuk, to himself: The important thing is that I'm just temporarily working with this team. I'm not going to get attached.

Barcelona players: Hi, Luuk!

Luuk: Okay, so step one failed.

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Pedri: were you dropped on your head as a child?

Gavi: bold of you to assume I was even held

Pedri:

Nico:

Ferran:.

Eric: Gavi, we've talked about this

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Gavi: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?

Eric: Why?

Gavi: Pedri fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.

Ferran: Pedri doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he just throws salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

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Eric: What’s your blood type?

Gavi: How would I know?

Eric: How would you not?

Gavi: Who am I? Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood groups?

Eric: You don’t know your own blood type but you know who discovered them?

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Nico, in a training: Alright, listen here you little shits.

Nico, turning to Gavi, Ansu and Pablo Torre: Not you guys, you're angels and I'm glad you're here.

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Eric: Do you ever want to talk about your feelings, Pedri?

Pedri: No.

Gavi: I do!

Eric: I know, Gavi.

Gavi: I'm sad.

Eric: I know, Gavi.

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Gavi: I'm small, but knowing.

Eric: You don't even know what the top shelf looks like...

Gavi: ... bitch

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Pablo Torre: wanna hear a joke?

Pedri: I'm more into dark humour...

Pablo Torre: (turns off the lights), so the joke...

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Lewa: Why is Ansu crying?

Gavi: Well, he told me that an onion is the only food that makes him cry.

Lewa: (motions for Gavi to continue)

Gavi: So I threw a watermelon at him...

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Gavi: You lying, cheating, piece of shit.

Pedri: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks they can get away with everything they do. Welcome to the real world/

Gavi: I'm leaving, DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!

Eric, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now...

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Nico (through video call): I left instructions for everyone for while I'm out on loan.

Gavi: Um, mine just say, "don't."

Nico: And I want you to apply that to every idea you have.

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Pedri: *loses Gavi in a crowd*

Pedri:

Pedri: finally.

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Pedri: Why are you on the floor crying?

Riqui: This book is just so SAD!!

Pedri: That's my diary.

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Eric: you know Gavi can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching him.

Gavi, blowing an airhorn directly in Eric’s face : GET FUCKED

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Nico: Remember what I told you.

Pedri: Don't be a cunt.

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Gavi: I was arrested for being too cool,

Ansu: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

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Eric: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window.

Gavi: ..We're on the ground floor

Eric: I know but I want a dramatic exit.