Chaos Kids™

just a dump of ideas and things that I think are funny for the mob au

[christophernolan]

PERIOD DRAMA APPRECIATION WEEK DAY 1: Favorite adaptations | [template]

[darkcrystals]

PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK 1975 | dir. Peter Weir

[incorrectborhapmobau]

Dana: I’m so happy I could kiss you!

Conquest: *laughs nervously* Uhm… Neat.

[Later]

Conquest, lay face down on the couch: I can’t believe I said ‘neat’, War! 'Neat.’ Nobody says neat anymore! It’s not neat to say neat, but I said it anyway because I’m a huge loser!

War: Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what happened when Athena confessed to me?

Conquest: Didn’t you thank her?

War, staring blankly into the distance: I thanked her.

[nocritae]

4 x Henry Cavill

[mobauvodkaaunt]

I’ve just realised that in mine and @incorrectborhapmobau ‘s modern au, Athena/Isolde is a MILF.

Her sons are not so pleased by that news.

[incorrectborhapmobau]

The boys absolutely hate how their friends talk about their mother 🤣

[vintagepales]

Frozen Fountains via ckylptyrasculpture

[incorrectborhapmobau]

Connie, age 6 and answering the phone: grandpa's office?

Connie: NO. You sound like a little girl!

[incorrectborhapmobau]

Joseph IV: how did you get so smart?

Ambra: I've always assumed adoption, or a baby switch.

[incorrectborhapmobau]

Merry: I saw mama take some shampoos from the hotel. So I took some things too. Then some bigger things. I like stealing. It makes me heart go faster.

[incorrectborhapmobau]

Death: shake it.

Famine: *starts doing a shimmy*

Death:

Death: I meant the box Joe.

[incorrectborhapmobau]

Michelle: sorry you couldn't go to Arlo's big race. It was no kids.

Rosella: it's okay, I'll just go to the next one.

Michelle: I don't like you.

Rosella, smiling: I'll get over it.

[mobauvodkaaunt]

[discussing a randomn girl]

Death: she can’t laugh or cough.

Silence: rules out sex with me then.

[mobauvodkaaunt]

Important headcanons:

Lucifer had to give Death, Beelzebub and Famine the Talk. It did not go well.

War did not get a talk. It was very much a hands on experience.

(Conquest was the same except his was consensual)

Hermes joined Olympus after he was caught trying to steal the Jewels of Olympus (Hestia’s necklace).

Lucifer went to New York before Atlas.

[mobauvodkaaunt]

Silence: you’re not pregnant?

Eris: not unless sperm can get through a sash window.

[mobauvodkaaunt]

*at an ally’s son’s wedding*

Conquest: bride’s side or groom’s side.

Famine: the one who Silence isn’t going to fuck.

Silence: hey!

Beelzebub: well that’ll leave the groom for me.

Lucifer: Jesus wept...

[mobauvodkaaunt]

War: if God didn’t want you and I eating pussy...why’d he go and make them look like a taco?

Famine:...good point.

Isolde: oh my god...

[incorrectborhapmobau]

Athena: I'm going to take a bath. Do you care to join me?

War: there's a gun in the footlocker of the office. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to use it on me.