incorrect battle royale quotes

completely canon quotes from the cult classic, battle royale

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Sometimes Shogo will ask me "What do you think you're doing?" but that just means stop. He doesn't actually want to know my thought process.

Shuya Nanahara

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Yuichiro: Tadakatsu, what does a pregnancy test look like?

Tadakatsu: Like a white stick with a thing on the end of it.

Yuichiro, taking a pistol out of Mitsuko's bag with a pencil: Okay, so this is definitely a gun.

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Kazuo: Would you stab your best friend for 10 million dollars?

Hiroshi: You stab me and when my leg gets better we can buy a big house.

Ryuhei: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Hiroshi: Yes!

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Kazushi: I started writing an office romance, then remembered that I have no idea what working in an office is like.

Takako: As opposed to your vast personal expertise in romance?

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Shinji: I hate you.

Keita: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that has got to be untrue!

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Shogo: My heart is guarded, but like, very poorly.

Shogo: The kind of guards that would let three kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

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Shuya: Your heart-shaped sunglasses are very festive!

Shinji: Thanks, I'm in love.

Shuya: With who?

Shinji: Myself.

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Yukie: Time for Plan G.

Haruka: Don't you mean Plan B?

Yukie: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Chisato: What about plan D?

Yukie: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Satomi: What about Plan E?

Yukie: I'm hoping not to use it. Nanahara dies in Plan E.

Yuko: I like Plan E.

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Ryuhei: The eagles won last night.

Mitsuru: Oh, you watched the game?

Ryuhei [covered in scratches]: What game?

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Satomi: Just a little reminder today: Dead people? Don't come back to life.

Yuka: Well, not with that attitude, they don't!

Noriko: What, is that an assertion or an instruction?

Izumi: "Hey, dead people? Don't come back to life. Like, really, don't. It's super awkward for everyone."

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Hiroshi: I promised Mitsuru we wouldn't do anything illegal!

Ryuhei: Why would you lie like that?!

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Yumiko: Wow, Kiriyama really hates us, Yukiko.

Yukiko: Maybe he's homophobic.

Yumiko: But we're not gay, Yukiko.

Yukiko: We're not?

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Mitsuru: What would you do if you woke up and saw I had turned into an iguana?

Kazuo: Well, as you would be considered an invasive species in Japan, I would be obligated as a citizen to kill and eat you. Sad, but there are more underlings out there, I suppose.

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Yuka: A new study suggests that eating ice cream for breakfast may improve mental performance!

Yuko: I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying that the times I've had ice cream for breakfast were not during times my life was going well.

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Mitsuru: Rich people should get robbed at least once a week.

Kyoichi: Why?

Mitsuru: Builds character.

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Hiroshi: We’d say that we are pretty smart.

Kyoichi: Okay, so what’s the difference between mitosis and meiosis?

Ryuhei: Don’t fall for it guys, he's just making up words.

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Shuya: What would you do if I was kidnapped?

Shogo: Nothing. I’d wait for 15 minutes when they’d give you back voluntarily.