things the chips have not said

chipspeech incorrect quotes blog. run by. me :^) (main is cider84 but i post about chipspeech on cidandy (yes that's my url)) the header is a real tweet btw.

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dandy: spencer, you're a genius! spencer: i get called that a lot dandy: a genius? spencer: no, spencer : )

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bert: god would never let me be successful. he'd kill me first. he'll never let me be happy. vosim: i thought you didn't believe in god? bert: i do for the bad things.

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vosim: bert r-really looks up to you! dandy: he's like- 5'2 he looks up to everyone.

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cider: how old do you think i am? pedro: i dunno! a lot?

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dandy: i should do a cartwheel! dandy, waking up on the floor with a headache: ...what just happened? otto: nothing. otto: hey, you should do a cartwheel. dandy: dude, you're so right! i haven't done one of those in so long!

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bert: you think that's cringe? moms wait around the world wait 9 months just to name their kid Cider. cider: oh, fuck you!

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dandy: it looks like you and i are idiots, bert... bert: at least we're idiots together! :D

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vosim: what do you guys do when you're stressed? dee: try to calm myself down! dandy: pass out. cider: get myself into even more stress, so that the first reason i was stressed gets cancelled out. sam: NOTHING.

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cider: i'm a very mature person. i'll always apologize if i'm wrong! sam: I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU APOLOGIZE... cider: well that's because i'm never wrong ;)

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otto, to pedro: remember, when you bury a body, make sure to plant endangered plants on top of it. that way, it's illegal to dig it up.

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dee: hey, people who know astrology? which planet can i blame for everything going to shit? 3: rotten: earth.

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pedro: i just discovered that cinnamon rolls dipped in strawberry milk taste better than cinnamon rolls dipped in normal milk!

cider: you mean you climbed through my window at 3 in the morning just to tell me this?

pedro: yeah! i had to tell somebody

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cider: be careful with my emotional baggage! cider: it's designer :)

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dandy: you hate everyone. otto: i know. it's the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. dandy: the hatred? otto: yes. the hatred.

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cider: i know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. dandy, crying: it's not a joke! i'm a total hunk...

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bert: sorry for being insane do you still think I'm malewife or whatever? 🥺

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dandy: death is a natural part of life, and by the time i finish this sentence, a hundred people will have died. vosim: ...WHY DID YOU STOP TALKING???