Incorrect Cornley-verse Quotes!

Aoife, 22, basic Chris Bean stan, but Max owns a piece of my heart. Accepting and welcoming submissions, as long as they have sources! Posts currently queued for 1pm, BST!

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Robert: You almost got us killed!

Trevor: …

Trevor: You’ve nearly gotten us killed a dozen times.

Trevor: Yesterday.

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Sandra: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. 

Max: You are my reward. 

Meanwhile…

Chris: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. 

Trevor: True, you can be really difficult at times. 

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Max: I’m a hopeless bromantic. High five me in the rain, fist bump me gently as the sun sets.

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Sandra: Academia is cool and sexy until I’m expected to do work.

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Sandra: You’re annoying.

Max: Then stop holding my hand.

Sandra: No.

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Trevor: I'm like if a corpse had to wake up every day.

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Robert: [Loses Dennis in a crowd]

Robert:

Robert: [Shrugs]

Robert: Oh, well.

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Dennis: What if they made virgin edibles? Like, edibles with no weed?

Chris: …

Chris: Dennis, do you mean FOOD?

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Vanessa: You’ll never guess what Dennis just asked me.

Sandra: Was it ‘can I borrow a comb’?

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Max: Quick, take my hand!

Sandra, grabbing his hand: Now what?

Max: Nothing. I just wanted to hold hands.

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Sandra: : Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

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Annie: It is not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink.

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Sandra: We should get married.

Max: We’ve been together for less than a year.

Sandra: I know and I’ve shown incredible restraint for waiting this long.

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Trevor: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

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Robert: Why do people believe I’m incapable of doing something nice?

Sandra: Experience.

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Max: Can I tell you a secret?

Annie: Of course.

Max: I think I might like Sandra.

Annie: Okay. What’s the secret?

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Chris: What would you say motivates Johnathan?

Sandra: Blowjobs.

Chris: …Is there a second option?