Incorrect Harry Potter Quotes

If you like HP and incorrect quotes this blog is for you.

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Mrs Weasley: Okay kids, listen closely cause I’m only gonna say this 257,000 more times

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Rose Granger-Weasley: Why does mom wear makeup?

Ron: To look pretty

Rose: But she’s already pretty

Ron: Awww

Rose: Dad, you should wear makeup

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Ginny: I had a dream last night we had another baby

Harry: *nervous laugh* We can barely handle the two we already have

Ginny: Three

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Rose Granger-Weasley: *Points to a dead squirrel on the road* He was a boy

Ron: How can you tell?

Rose: He was stupid.

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Draco: Who broke the coffee machine? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Hermione: I did. I broke it.

Draco: No. No, you didn’t. Ron?

Ron: Don’t look at me. Look at Harry.

Harry: What!? I didn’t break it.

Ron: Huh. That’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Harry: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Ron: Suspicious...

Harry: No, it’s not!

George: If it matters, probably not...Ginny was the last one to use it.

Ginny: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

George: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee machine earlier?

Ginny: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles! Everyone knows that!

Hermione: All right, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it Draco.

Draco: No. Who broke it?

Harry: Neville’s been awfully quiet...

Neville: REALLY!?

Harry: Yeah, really!

...

Draco: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Draco: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

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Arthur: Can you come over here, princess

Ginny: Dad! I’m too old to be a princess!

Arthur: Then what should I call you?

Ginny: The Queen

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Ginny: What did you do at school today?

6-year-old Teddy: Learned about dragons

Ginny: Your class learned about dragons?

Teddy: I learned about dragons. I don’t know what everybody else was doing

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Draco, standing in the rain: A little water never hurt anyone. Besides, people are always telling me that I’m dripping with good looks

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Sirius: *rubs his head*

Remus: What’s wrong?

Sirius: I think I pulled a brain muscle

Remus: Brains don’t have muscles...

Sirius: Maybe yours doesn’t

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George: Yes, I’m the nice twin, but this conversation bores me. Go play in traffic, please.

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Hermione: You got one body. You should take care of it.

Ron: If I only have one body, I should probably use it up. Really run it ragged.

Hermione: ...

Ron: Get my money’s worth.

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Sirius: I thought that I was, to a certain degree, an intelligent person. When I realized I was an idiot, I was really shocked!

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Neville: I wish I were one of those people who thrives on the danger of leading a double life. You know, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Hannah Montana

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Draco: Seriously who the fuck is even left handed? Grow the fuck up.

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Ron: Oh my God, you’re rich!

Harry: No, my parents are rich.

Ron: So? They’re gonna die someday.

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Draco: Harry passed me a note, and it said “I think you’re hot”. And I passed him a note and I said “I don’t need you to tell me that”.

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Hi guys! Sorry for the lack of posting for the last 2 days. I was sick (a simple flu, not the coronavirus, don’t worry). There will be a post later today!