Look, It’s The Butcher!

I don't see a lot of the Into the Woods fandom, so I guess I'll be the crazy obsessed person. Submissions welcome. If you submitted something in the past but you see that the post is credited to the wrong person please let me know so I can fix it!

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Yes! Love that I’m getting a compilation! This is fantastic!

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Jack: if my whimsy levels get too low I’ll die.

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Jack: *fills a water gun with printer ink*

Jack: I don’t even need a toy to have fun!

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Jack: you remind me of the ocean.

The Mysterious Man: because I’m deep and mysterious?

Jack: no, because you’re salty and you scare people.

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Jack, to the Baker: You’ll be my dad! You can order me around, and I’ll disappoint you!

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Little Red Riding Hood: I’m about to take out my Swiss Army knife and get my badge for cutting a bitch.

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Cinderella’s Prince: I don’t make the rules.

Cinderella: You do.

Cinderella’s Prince: That’s true, I do.

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Jack: Care to take a stab at being social?

Little Red Riding Hood: I do like stabbing.

Little Red Riding Hood: The social part not so much.

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The Baker: Do you make a habit of scaring the hell out of people?

The Mysterious Man: It’s more of a hobby.

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Little Red Riding Hood: watching the Baker in the woods is like watching a wounded deer in an amusement park.

Little Red Riding Hood: it doesn’t matter what happens, he’s going to be terrified.

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Cinderella: Why is everybody laughing? I can be badass!

The Baker’s Wife: You’re raising your hand.

Cinderella: We’re in a meeting!

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Jack: Hang on, wait, I’m having one of those things! A headache with pictures!

Jack’s Mother: An idea?

Jack: Mhm!

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The Baker: My life did not start until I had my son.

Little Red Riding Hood: Hey!

The Baker: close second.

Little Red Riding Hood: I’ll take it.

Jack: hey!

The Baker: distant eighth.

Jack: top ten, baby!

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Jack: if I don’t cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

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Little Red Riding Hood: *stabbing bananas into the running blender with a second set of blender blade thingies* VIBE! V I B E !!

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Cinderella’s Prince: heyyy baby *smacks Cindy’s booty as she’s cleaning*

Cinderella, without looking up: do not grope the dusting fairy please

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Jack: you don’t have good reflexes! I just have bad aim!