incorrect quotes

conversations my original characters and their friends (totally) didn't have

[incorrectkaye]

pip: vibe check!

willow: *fucking gets kidnapped*

pip:

[incorrectkaye]

willow: for the last time, pip and i are just friends.

sam: *sneezes*

sam: apologies, i’m allergic to bullshit.

[incorrectkaye]

pip: truth or dare?

willow: truth.

pip: how many hours have you slept this week?

willow: dare.

pip: i dare you to go to sleep.

willow: i don’t like this game.

[incorrectkaye]

judge: i hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison.

wes, as adonis’ lawyer: your honor, my client respectfully requests one more year to be added to his sentence.

[incorrectkaye]

adonis: yeah, i looked both ways while crossing the street. i looked both “handsome” and “radiant,” too bad i got hit by that car.

[incorrectkaye]

margot, writing in her diary: dear diary, how are you? i’m fine.

margot:

margot:

margot, groaning and continuing: okay, i’m not fine. you got me. god, you’re good.

[incorrectkaye]

margot: my father may have raised a child who now craves even the slightest bit of affection fueled by massive insecurities, but he didn’t raise no quitter.

margot:

margot: okay, i use the word “raise” lightly.

[incorrectkaye]

margot: i slipped a little note into your bag to remind you that i love you.

?: margot, this is a ten-page letter.

[incorrectkaye]

gilderoy: i mean, you’re like a daughter to me.

margot: i don’t mean to scare you, but i am your daughter.

[incorrectkaye]

margot: i’m an avid lover of shakespeare... i can understand how the characters fall hopelessly in love and throw their heart away after only seven lines.

[incorrectkaye]

*after being asked to join dumbledore’s army*

margot: oh honey, i’m a lover, not a fighter.

*after much-needed explanation*

margot: oh... then well, duh, count me in!

[incorrectkaye]

margot: boys are so hot.

margot: girls are so hot.

margot: merlin, everyone is so hot! why is everyone so hot?!

?: global warming.

margot: oh my... it all makes sense now.

fellow ravenclaw: that’s not... oh, sweetie.

[incorrectkaye]

gilderoy: of course i love all my children! who wouldn’t love a spawn of themselves?

margot: oh really? name one.

gilderoy: well, you see, there’s... there’s uh...

margot: you only have one.

gilderoy: could i have a hint?

[incorrectkaye]

adonis: are you into milo?

wes: *sweats nervously* psh... no.

adonis: then why do you keep writing “m + w” everywhere?

wes: it stands for “may never happen” and “wishing.”

adonis:

wes: or “milky” and “way.”

[incorrectkaye]

jaxon: okay, i have a plan. get the gas for mount weather, knock them out, stop this before it all goes to shit.

jaxon: stay here, do not do anything until i get back.

hollis: roger that.

hollis:

[incorrectkaye]

halley: i think charlie’s making me sick, my stomach and chest feel weird around him.

halley: and whenever he smiles, it makes me wanna smile too.

halley: i don’t know what’s wrong.

luke: hal... that’s called a crush.

halley:

halley: but i don’t wanna crush him?

[incorrectkaye]

wes: *does something stupid*

adonis: thas my boi!!!

thea and milo: we’re dating these fuckers?