canonical dialogue from hideo kojima's masterpieces

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Lady: I know you snuck out last night, Django and Sabata.

Sabata: -whispering to Django- Play dumb.

Django: Who's Django?

Sabata: Not that dumb!

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Django: My aunt tried to kill me!

Ingram: Well...that's a pretty hardcore origin story.

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Django: -survives the attempt made on his life, crawls out of his own grave, kills every member of Ratatosk's clan and finds a way to the moon to fight him-

Ratatosk, absolutely bewildered: HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Elijah: I just want you for my own!

Jamie, prepared to deck Elijah in the face: Please leave me the fuck alone!

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

I've been traumatized!

Django at any given point in the Boktai series

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Count of Ground-Soaking Blood: You destroyed my castle?! We are no longer friends!

Django, extremely tired: We never were friends.

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Randam: We need someone to distract the Snatcher. Are any of you good at jumping up and down and making loud noises?

Django: -stands up- My time has come!

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Django: I need an adult!

Gillian: I'm an adult!

Django: ...I need a different adult!

Ingram: I'm an adult?

Django: DIFFERENT ADULT

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Gillian: Randam, I need you to be straight with me.

Randam, trying so hard not to laugh: That's going to be extremely hard, Gillian.

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Elijah: Do you care if I take the skin off a Furby? I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.

Jamie and Gillian: -horrified silence-

Elijah: ...also I want to soft-hack his circuits.

Gillian: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Ingram, drunk: Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Ed, not drunk: No.

Ingram: It goes, "My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is getting better!"

Ed: ...

Ingram: ...her aim is getting better!

Ed: ...........

Ingram: Y-You see, it's funny because marriage is terrible!

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

I haven't been in this dimension for a while, it's still okay to hand children weapons, right?

Django immediately after giving Lan Hikari a Gun Del Sol battlechip

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

You have the moral backbone of a eclair.

Ringo to the Count of Ground-Soaking Blood

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Ingram: -says anything-

Redwood: So let me get this clear: you enjoy not breathing.

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Lita: Are you alright? You didn't sleep at all last night.

Django, shortly before walking into a wall: I got a solid eight minutes! Not consecutively, but it's fine, you're not even that blurry.

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

Randam: We have fun, don't we?

Gillian, clinging to Randam's motorcycle for dear life: I have never been more stressed out in my life.

[incorrectkojimagamequotes]

We're too young to die and too old to order off the kid's menu! What a stupid age we are!

Django to Sabata