jansens journal

yea this is completely self indulgent lol

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Jansen: No fear.

Ming, sternly from the other room: JANSEN FRIEDH.

Jansen, sweating: One fear.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Tolten: *traps a wasp under a cup*

Jansen: *appears and sets down 2 more cups*

Tolten: No...

Jansen: *starts to shuffle them*

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Ming: [diligently doing her work, listening to harp music, very focused]

Jansen, upside down in a chair: Do you think stars have feelings?

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Ming, docking the White Boa: Can you get a table for us?

Jansen: Sure!

*minutes later*

Jansen, sprinting out of the restaurant carrying a table: START THE BOAT!

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Tolten: I never considered you a rival.

Sed: I never considered you at all.

Tolten: ...Now that's just hurtful.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Sarah: I just had a long talk with Cooke and Mack about hitting and now they are yelling "It’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence!" before hitting each other.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Seth: Things have actually been going really well with Jansen, our friendship is in a really good place.

Seth: Last week he said, "Did you know the wiener dog is neither a wiener nor a dog?" Instead of saying, "Shut up, Jansen" I said, "Okay".

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Kaim, holding the door open for Sarah: After you.

Sarah: No, after you.

Kaim: I insist, after you.

Jansen, pushing past both of them: After me.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Jansen: This is my wife, Ming, and this is Ming's girlfriend, Seth.

Ming: Hey.

Sarah: Hey... oh... wait, sorry. What’s the situation?

Jansen: What do you mean?

Sarah: How does this work?

Jansen: Ming is straight for me, but she's gay for Seth, and Seth is really gay for Ming. And I hate Seth.

Seth: It's not that complicated.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Ming, to Jansen: This may be a frivolous question but what are you doing?

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Sarah, handing Mack a sandwich: Here you go, Mack.

Jansen: *grabs the sandwich* Mmmm, yummy.

Sarah: Jansen!

Jansen: Why should the child go first? I’m far larger. And hungrier.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Jansen: We can make this work! We're Romeo and Juliet!

Ming: It didn't work for Romeo and Juliet. That play ends in a tragic double suicide.

Jansen: That's how it ends? Why do people like it so much?

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Jansen: See? See, one day you're gonna look back on this and laugh.

Seth: I assure you, for the rest of my life, every time I look back on this I will personally run over to your house and smack you.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Mack: I have done nothing wrong ever in my life.

Sarah: I know this, and I love you.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Sarah: We’ve got to find a way to cut down on expenses. What can we live without?

Kaim: Probably Jansen.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Jansen, to Cooke and Mack: It's unnatural for siblings to get along as well as you do.

[incorrectlostodyssey]

Jansen: As your best friend-

Seth: Ming is my best friend.

Jansen: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND...