Things That the TLC Cast Probably Said

Wolf actually thot-slaps Ran in the books, it's canon

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Levana, dressed as a tour guide: "And to your left, you can see me, ruining everything."

(source: Twitter)

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Jacin: "Now, some of you may be wondering, "What is ASMR?" Well, let's just say it's a way to get that fluffy, tingling feeling in the back of your neck. Like when you get that haircut. Or when that special girl you like says, "Hi!" in the hallway." Winter: "Hello!" Jacin: "Winter?! Get out of the shot!"

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Cress: "Hey, what's that?" Levana, frantically hiding a whiteboard labelled 'Evil Plan': "It's nothing!" Cress: "Really? 'Cause it kinda looks like some sort of elaborate scheme." Levana: "Well, it's not evil, if that's what you're thinking. Cress: "Then what is it?" Levana: "It's a... recipe! For a cake. For charity. For, uh... Kittens?" Cress: "That... sounds... amazing! Kitten charity?!? Oh, you're so nice~!" Sybil saunters in, casually holding a rocket launcher: "What up, evil dudes? Got the Kitten Killer 9000 up and ready to..." *notices Cress, then starts backing out* "O-kay.." Cress, completely unfazed: "Anyways, see ya later, besties!"

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iko: y’know even though jacin tries to pull off the tough guy act we can’t ignore he has a literal plushie named missy

jacin: FOR THE LAST TIME IT’S A NICKNAME

jacin: her full name is missile launcher and she’s in charge of cabin defense

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Cinder: "Okay, who here has played a musical instrument?" Kinney: "Do instruments of torture count?" Cress: "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" Scarlet: "No, Cress. Mayonnaise is not an instrument. Horseradish isn't an instrument, either."

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Levana: "As you can see here, evil is at a record high. But I think we can bump it higher with spam and online trolling." *Sybil and Aimery both nod enthusiastically*

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Cress: "Why punish all of us 'shells' for what a single one did to your parents?!" Levana: "If you’ve seen one shell, you’ve seen them all! They’re all the same to me!"

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Thorne: I did not give you enough time to take a deep breath. I am so sorry- It’s like ripping off a band-aid except you don’t see it coming, it’s gonna hurt a lot too-“ Cinder: "No, it’s not like ripping off a band-aid, it’s like ripping a piece of detritus from my thigh! OH, GOD!” Thorne: “Yeah! I mean, yes, same- same general deal, like- either way, that’s the bionic leg, it shouldn’t feel pain, does it?” Cinder: “I don’t know what the fuck kind of shit you’re into, but I am NOT having a part of it!”

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Sybil, drunk af: “Why are all my limbs slack? I can’t see the end of the horizon. Wait, Hatsune Miku?! Is that you? Have you finally come to put me out of my misery?!” Iko, holding a shotgun: “You’re gonna hafta beg a little harder than that, motherfucker.” Sybil: “PLEASE, THIS IS NOT THE EXISTENCE I CAN KEEP GOING WITH!” Iko: “But what will you give me?” Sybil: “I will give you the satisfaction of snuffing out another life.” Aimery, also drunk: “Hey, what’s going on over here, bud? Is that fucking Hatsune Miku? Sybil, are you asking for death from Hatsune Miku?” Iko: “Yep.” Aimery: “Ooh, me next, me next!” Iko: “Hmm. Maybe.”

(long post sorry)

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Thorne: “The desert. Count how many sand is here, Iko. That’s your first mission.” Iko: “Okay. One, two, three…” Cress: “Why the fuck would you make her do that?!” Thorne: “It passes the time.” Cress: “It’s going to take so long! Thorne… it’s going to be so annoying!” Thorne: “I’m curious what the biggest number is!” Cress: “No, she’s just gonna be counting forever!” Iko: “There are only thirty million sand particles in this desert.”

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winter: *kisses jacin on the cheek*

jacin: i don’t like that

winter: right

jacin: it’s disgusting

winter: yes

jacin: and repulsive

winter: of course

jacin: and just to make sure i hate it

winter: mhmm?

jacin: do that again?

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kai: i feel like we’ve slowly begun to phase the “b” out of our bromance

thorne, down on one knee with a ring: i mean yea,

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Adri: "Answer your phone." Cinder: "Just a second, I can't find my phone." Adri: "Okay. ...You are an awful child. You're killing your only legal guardian, you know that, Cinder."

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Sybil: "I'll canvas all the seediest lowbrow dives in town to find my minions. And I know just how to speak their language!" Sybil, in the mutant soldier barracks: "Felicitations, malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! Who will join me!?"

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 Levana: "What, you're crashing my wedding, Cinder? That's tacky even for you. Also, your outfit isn't halfway fancy enough for the occasion! Not that it matters, since you WEREN'T INVITED!"

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Cress: "Aaah! Dudes, there's a bat in the kitchen! It tried to touch me with its weird little bat fingers!" Thorne: "Don't worry, I got this under control. Scarlet, you take care of it." Scarlet: "What? Why can't you do it?" Thorne: "'Cause life ain't fair. Now go fight a bat so we can watch TV."

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(same anon from before) (i have too much time im looking up the quotes which have source unknown) the koala one is from twitter user @clairedaniellem

oh thank you!! i’ll fix that rn!!

- mod iko