Incorrect Paladins of Voltron

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Lance, aiming: Alright, Hunk!

Hunk: What happened?

Lance: Wha--

Hunk: What?

Lance: Get out of the way!

Hunk: Oh. You moved.

Lance: I was just aiming up the stairs and then it was all back.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Lance: Hello?

Keith: Hi.

Lance: Hello?

Keith: Did you go right or left?

Lance: It's me. I went right.

Keith: Ok, I'll go left.

Lance: Uh...

Keith: I'm gonna come up behind so just be aware of that.

Lance: I'm just gonna go in here. I was just wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet.

Keith: What the fuck are you talking about?

Hunk: He's doing Adele.

Pidge: HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE!

Lance: Yep. That's what was happening.

Hunk: Goddamn, Pidge, you scared the shit out of me.

Lance: I didn't know who was going to pull the trigger.

Hunk: I'm glad no one could see my face.

Keith: I'm glad Hunk doesn't have a gun. I feel like he would've shot someone.

Hunk: Yeah.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Keith, taking fire: Oh, hello! I'll just stand here, not in cover! Holy crap! There's more!

Lance: Grenade out! Oh, god!

Keith, retreating: Lance!

Lance: Boom!

Keith: That's a triple! That was a triple kill with a grenade. And I wasn't even one of them.

Lance: I know. That's shocking.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Shiro: Oh, I'm dead. I'm an idiot but I'm dead.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Keith: Hey, fight me.

Keith: Oh, no. Oh, no.

Shiro: What's wrong?

Pidge: Keith?

Keith: I've got a lot back here with me.

Pidge: Heading your way.

Shiro: I'm coming. Like back near the beginning?

Keith: Yeah. Oh, I just got flashed. I can't see dick. Can't see dick. I think I took cover. I did.

Shiro: Where were they, Keith?

Keith: *shoots at shiro*

Keith: Oh, fuck! That was me, Shiro! That was me. They're up there, where you were going. That's why I shot.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Lance: Come back out.

Lance: *shoots enemy*

Lance: Thank you.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Lance: You ready?

Hunk: Yeah.

Lance: Opening door.

Lance: *flings door open into Hunk*

Hunk: Ow. Ow. Ow.

Lance: *laughs*

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Lance, about Hunk's character: Hunk, this is going to sound oddly specific, but you look like an inbred Floridian.

Hunk: No, I understand.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Matt: Cicadas taste like lobster.

Keith: You're full of horseshit. No way that's true.

Pidge: No, he's full of cicadas.

Shiro: I think maybe you've never had lobster.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Lance: Consider the following...

Lance: *falls*

Lance: AAGHHHGGGGH

Pidge: There you go. Consider that.

Keith: Considered.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Hunk: I'm not good close range with a shotgun.

Keith: That makes no sense, Hunk.

Lance, laughing: What does that mean?

Hunk: For some reason the shotgun seems really good at distance.

Lance: They are not.

Hunk: They are. I've been sniping people with it. But at close range I panic and I miss every shot.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Keith: I'll look right, you look left.

Hunk: Ok. Oh, wow. I looked right. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Keith: I know. I saw the back of your head.

Hunk: I couldn't make the 'L' with my fingers so I didn't know which side.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Lance: *aiming gun*

Lance: Hunk.

Hunk: Yo.

Lance: Hunk! Hunk!

Hunk: What?

Lance: You just stood right in front of me!

Hunk: Don't stand behind me. I understand I've got a great ass but you can't be checking it out all the time.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Keith: *gets shot at*

Keith: Oh! Fuck my asshole.

Keith: *kills enemy*

Shiro: What was that?

Keith: Some guy shot me. I killed him for it.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

*in a training simulation*

Keith: Oh, careful, Lance. In there.

Lance: Agh!

Lance: *dies*

Keith: Alright.

Pidge: He wasn't careful.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Lance: *firing shotgun*

Shiro: Lance.

Lance: Yeah?

Shiro: Enough.

Lance: Look, suppressing fire.

Shiro: Yeah, I mean, he was dead.

Lance: Alright.

Shiro: He'd already come down the stairs and died.

[incorrectpaladinsofvoltron]

Lance: Ah! Far! Far alley!

Hunk: Far alley?

Keith: What?

Pidge: Can anybody speak Lance?