Incorrect Teamiplier Quotes

Teamiplier is done. | Ran by: @alto-viola

[idk3ither]

Unus Annus proves that when Teamiplier broke up Tyler took all of the brain cells with him

[unusannusquotes]

Ethan: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Mark, in tune: Fuck - off - E - than!

[ego-tistical-prick]

Unus Annus is really making me realise how much I miss Teamiplier

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

Mark: If you have any objections, feel free to put them in the suggestion box by the door.

Ethan: That’s the trash can.

Mark: Exactly.

[unusannusquotes]

Ethan, holding up a dog: Look, I got us a puppy!

Mark: You literally went out to get milk.

Ethan: But he's so cute!

Mark: We have 17 dogs.

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

[In another flashback, Mark discusses his time as a television pitchman]

Mark: [in a commercial] I'm Mark Fischbach of Unus Annus Enterprises! Is this always happening to you? [gets splashed with juice] Then you need the shammy of the future! Made with the same material astronauts use to clean up cranberry stains on the moon! That's the Sham-Total! It's a total sham!

Mark: [voiceover] I had made my mark alright, unfortunately, so did the shammies. Apparently the cheap dye I used to color them only made stains worse. Customers weren't crazy about that, but luckily, they were chasing me with Unus Annus-brand pitchforks. [the pitchforks all fall apart] I was officially banned from Ohio, but with a quick name change, Wilford Warfstache was ready to take on Pennsylvania!

Mark: [in another commercial] Hi, I'm Wilford Warfstache! Are you sick of bandages that are hard to remove? Then what you need is the Rip-Off! The Rip-Off won't give you rashes. I repeat, it won't give you rashes. [awkward pause]

Mark: [voiceover] It gave you rashes. [cut to a scene showing Mark being chased out of Pennsylvania by an angry mob of people with rashes]

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

Mark: (Over Ethan's corpse.) I just killed my best friend.

Amy: And your worst enemy.

Mark: Same difference.

Amy: What are we gonna tell the cops? "Fuck it if he can't take a joke, Sarge?"

Mark: Oh, the cops. I can't believe this is my life. Oh my God. I'm gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford.

Amy: Ah, right. I'm just a little freaked here. Well at least you got whatcha wanted y'know?

Mark: Got what I wanted? It is one thing to want somebody out of your life, it is another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.

[egoiplier-shenanigans-deactivat]

The Beginning

Based on this post by @incorrectteamiplierquotes; thanks for giving me that spark of motivation!

“What could possibly go wrong?” 

Keep reading

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

This is wonderful and so well written! Thanks for tagging me!

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

Kat: Amy, it's us.

Ethan: Dark put a spell on you, Amy!

Dark: You got that right. And the spell is unbreakable.

Ethan: In that case, we're gonna have to make you undo it!

Dark: I'm sorry, but I think darkness suits your friend rather well.

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

Mark: Okay, we're going to move on to our next segment here on this stream!

Bob: Which involves the brain of our disturbed friend, Wade!

Mark: Yes! We all know that Wade's head is full of wrong-ness...

Bob: And to demonstrate that again, let's take a look at- [huge moving cactus walks towards Mark and Wade growling]. Uh oh... it's the cactus' big brother!

Mark and Bob: [holds onto each other and screams]

Amy: [from Los Angeles watching the web show with Kat laughing] Oh my God, how funny is this? Aren't they hilarious?

Kat: Yeah, it's funny... [pretending not to know what it is] What's it called?

Amy: Markiplier. [confused] You've never heard of it?

Kat: Uh... no... why?

Amy: Cause' you live in Seattle half the time, and that's where these boys do it from.

Mark: [from laptop with Bob] Go on now!

Bob: [at the cactus' big brother] Go!

Mark: [at the cactus' big brother] Walk out the door!

Bob: Just turn around now!

Mark: You're not welcome anymore!

Kat and Amy: [laughing with Kat laughing nervously]

Bob: And now,

Mark: A disturbing voyage into the depths of the ever puzzling Wadeish brain...

Amy: [laughing] That guy Mark's really pretty don't you think?

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

Ethan: I remember it. It was first day of seventh grade and my dad told me 'Ethan: you gotta learn how to tie your own shoes. It's important.' Now I can tie my own shoes without even thinking about it!

Amy and Kat: Aww.

Amy: That is such an interesting story!

Kat: You are sooo good looking.

Amy: [laughs] I was about to say that.

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

Ethan: Why does your chest look all thick?

Mark: Um… I've been working out... y'know, pushups and, milk...

[Ethan takes his shirt off to reveal a bulletproof vest]

Ethan: That's... quite a sports bra.

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

Beauty and the Beast AU - Part 1

Mark as Gaston.

Ethan as Lefou.

Tyler as Beast.

Amy as Belle.

[leons-lovergirl]

You do know Belle and Beast (Adam) get together right?

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

No... I only have watched the iconic Disney movie, viewed by 100s of millions of people, at least five times each year and am about to be in a theather production of the show itself.

Typed out the title.

And still didn’t know that! Thanks for enlightening me!

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

Beauty and the Beast AU - Part 1

Mark as Gaston.

Ethan as Lefou.

Tyler as Beast.

Amy as Belle.

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

(At the height of the activity a grotesque figure suddenly appears at the lop of the staircase, ten feet tall. Dressed all in crimson, with a death’s head visible inside the hood of his robe, Dark has come to the party. With dreadful wooden steps he descends the stairs and takes the center of the stage.)

Dark: Why so silent, good messieurs? Did you think that I had left you for good? Have you missed me, good messieurs? I have written you an opera!

(He takes from under his robe an enormous bound manuscript)

Here I bring the finished score – “Don Juan Triumphant”!

(He throws it to Tyler.)

I advise you to comply – my instructions should be clear – remember there are worse things than a shattered chandelier.

(Amy, mesmerized, approaches as Dark beckons her. He reaches out, grasps the chain that holds the secret engagement ring, and rips it from her throat. He holds it aloft.)

Dark: Your chains are still mine – you will sing for me!

(he turns his back. All cower in suspense as the music crescendos, until suddenly, in a fiery flash, Dark has vanished. A stunned silence, broken by the sound of demonic laughter. All turn upstage towards the source of the laughter and see, standing majestic and eerie at the top of the staircase, the mocking figure of Dark. All turn upstage towards the source of the laughter and see, standing majestic and eerie at the top of the staircase, the mocking figure of Dark. All disperse in panic.)

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

What is a franchise you’d like to see quoted?

[incorrectteamiplierquotes]

Kat: Rough night, Mark? Get into a fight?

Tyler: No, he fell through a skylight. He was on the rooftops, looking for Amy Nelson. Bloody idiots, eh?

Kat: Ooh. [Observing.] But your clothes looks more like concrete and stone residue, though. What were you doing before that?

Tyler: Rock climbing.

Kat: [Unconvinced.] Rock climbing?

Mark: Yes, we were rock climbing. Tyler's been teaching me. At the rock faces in the s-south gardens.

Tyler: Taken to it like a duck to water, he has. But we've got to plod on, Mrs. Knutsen.

Kat: Of course. Sorry to have kept you. Be careful on those rocks, Mark. It's a dangerous sport.

Tyler: We will, Mrs. Knutsen. We will.