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wanda: here is your daily reminder than i'm not white :)

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wanda: i’m raising tj to be kind but i also want her to know that she can throat punch someone if she needs to.

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wanda: i don't care what anybody says, the "multiple floating weapons controlled by telekinesis or whatever" is, has been, and always will be cool as shit

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wanda: do you ever feel extra touch starved like you’re just laying around and suddenly it’s just if i do not experience affection right now i will die and that is a promise

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wanda: i'm not some flower or a delicate piece of glass,

wanda: i'm a person and people heal.

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wanda: food is the love language. let me bake you some fucking bread.

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wanda: for someone who is tired 100% of the time, i sure am bad at sleeping.

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wanda: i don’t exactly have what you’d call “plans” for the “future”, unless “disappearing suddenly under mysterious circumstances” counts, in which case,

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wanda: god made me bisexual as a gift to all of you, so maybe you should start acting a little more thankful

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wanda: canceling plans is ok. staying home to cook is ok. disappearing for a bit to get your life together is ok. resurfacing in a foreign country with a new name 10 years later is ok. it's called self care

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wanda: friendly reminder that i literally, actually cannot die, and id love to see any of you fuckers try to take me down

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wanda, laying on top of her significant-other-of-literal-years natasha: hey... do you like me?

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wanda: owning a cat makes you immune to demons

evil spirits in my house: *creak my door open ominously*

wanda: is that you baby??? *kissing noises* come here sweet baby <3

wanda: *feels another presence™ somewhere in the kitchen with me while i’m fetching glass of water at 3am*

wanda, sleepy and unafraid: i’m not letting you out yet you bastard, go back to bed

the yellow-eyed demon that stalks me in the dark: *whispering* damn it

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wanda, talking about tony: you ever meet a man and it's so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up?

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wanda: being a woman is like....

wanda: i want to be monstrous.

wanda: i want to be desired.

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wanda: my girlfriend’s cat liho’s hanukkah sweater started coming off so nat went to fix it, and as she did so she said, in her most tender and maternal voice, “aww, is your shirt coming off? whore”

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wanda, talking about natasha: if my girlfriend dies, i’ma get this witchcraft shit popping. i’m getting my bitch back one way or another.