We hadn’t played in months. At first it was just late replies, rules that blurred and then disappeared entirely. And then one day there was nothing left to follow. No structure. No voice in my head telling me "good girls only please their man", "that's not respectful". I didn’t realise how much of me had been built around that.
Without it, everything spilled. I had no one to disappoint except myself...and I was very good at ignoring that.
Before i knew it, i began touching myself every night. Soon it transitioned to me giving myself multiple orgasms a nihht. A habit that turned into a reflex. It didn’t feel like control. It felt like the absence of it.
And then one night, I was scrolling on this app, and I saw something that reminded me of him. Of rules and restraint, the way i wasn't allowed to have everything i wanted, and the feeling of being constantly watched even when he wasn't around.
So I went back. It wasn’t easy. He didn’t just take me in like nothing had changed. I had to plead and beg, and lower myself enough to admit I needed it. But eventually he agreed...partially.
And the first thing he took from me was the excess. All of it, reduced to one. Just one orgasm every night, like a leash tightened just enough to remind me I wasn’t free anymore.
I didn’t handle it well because freedom had made me careless. I'd forgotten how to hold back. And I slipped too quickly into disobedience. Which is how I ended up last night.
Not letting my hands go anywhere below my waist. Because I wasn't allowed to. I abused my nipples instead, painfully twisting them, pinching them...trying to feel something without technically breaking rules.
Not surprisingly, it didn't work. If anything it turned my urges sharper, more intense and harder to ignore. Now I had bruised sore nipples along with a restless, building frustration with nowhere to go.
I clearly didn’t get what I wanted. And somehow, that felt exactly like the point.
Of reminding me that - Mr.VB is my God, my owner, my rapist, my abuser and my husband. I, Mrs. MVB am thankful for being his devotee, his slave, his sextoy, his pet and his wife.
