have a drabble of how the conversation went when chai told emmy about how she got her name and how why her mother wasn't around so she decided to change her name to emmy :'))) bc feels yk
“How did I get my name papa? Did you give it to me?” Emma asked as she sat down in the living room with her legs crossed, looking up at Chai, expectantly.
Chai, who was in the middle of feeding Phet and Pricha, had stopped to turn around and looked at Emma. He finished feeding the birds and sat down across from his daughter. Though his legs were stretched out instead of crossed as it was uncomfortable for his knees. He reached a hand to ruffle her hair and smiled at her before he explained.
“Well, your mother named you, actually. I was really young when you were born. I didn’t have any ideas for names back then, your mom already had your name picked out, and well, I thought it’d be easiest to just stick with that.”
Emma gave a nod of her head as she listened to her father explain the origin of her name. It wasn’t like the usual Thai names, so she wondered where it came from.
“And what about mama? How come mama is never around?” It wasn’t the first time she’d asked him this, but she was old enough now to really understand it. So it was probably best to explain to her the situation in a way she could understand. Chai cleared his throat as he scooted closer to Emma. Taking her hands in his and swirling circles against her palms. It was a habit he’d started doing since she was an infant. He wasn’t sure if he was doing it for hers or his sake, a self-soothing habit he hadn’t let go of.
“Well, your mama wanted to go to school far away to get the job that she wanted. We were both really young then and wanted to do different things. Your mama wanted to go away for school and moved away from Thailand to do that. When she had you, her parents didn’t want her to raise you by herself. So, she came to me when you were born and asked me to take care of you instead.” Chai did omit some details, she didn’t need to know everything. Perhaps when she was older and wanted to know more, he’d tell her in more detail then. For now, he figured it was better to explain things as simply as possible, she was still young, after all.
“So mama didn’t want me?” Oh, it really broke his heart to hear her say that. He could see the tears stinging in the corners of Emma’s eyes as she was trying to not cry in front of him. This one was one those rare moments where she was actually upset. He could see her fighting back the tears as hard as she could.
Chai decided to switch tactics and gently pulled Emma by the arms and positioned her so she was now in his lap and he wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her close to him.
“No, sweetie. It’s not that. She did, she wanted you, but she just couldn’t take care of you. She didn’t have supportive parents who were willing to help take care of you the way your yâa and bpùu do. So, I asked them if we could keep you and raise you and they agreed. So your mama left to do what she wanted to do, and you stayed here with me and your grandparents so we could raise you and take care of you.”
He wasn’t sure if that explanation would be enough for her, but it was the truth. It probably didn’t help that Jean never reached out to them over the years or ever asked how Emma was doing. While he didn’t have her new number when she moved away, they still had each other on social media but neither reached out to each other. While Chai wasn’t very active on social media, he did make posts about Emma over the years with no interactions from Jean. Not even a like on any photos of Emma.
Emma turned herself around in his lap so she faced him, looking up at him with glossy brown eyes. He had thought she was going to cry, but instead she wrapped her small arms around his waist. Her arms couldn’t even fully connect around him. She leaned her head against his chest and squeezed him as tight as she could. A few moments of silence passed between as the father and daughter simply hugged each other. Emma had broken the silence after a while, but still clung to him as she spoke.
“Papa, can you not call me Emma anymore? I don’t like that name. Can you call me Emmy instead? Please?”
She didn’t look up at him as she asked, she didn’t even explain why, and he didn’t press her about it. Instead he just wrapped his arms around her small frame and hugged her tightly.
“Alright, if that’s what you want. I’ll call you Emmy from now on.” He let go of her briefly to press a kiss to the top of her head and used his thumb to wipe away the few tears that managed to escape.
“How about we go for ice cream with yâa and bpùu? Then we can go out to eat an early lunch and come home and watch a movie together? What do you think?” Chai’s hands had moved to cup her cheeks and gave them a slight pinch which made Emmy giggle. There it was, her smile and laugh that he loved so much. While ice cream and a movie might not be an all-cure, if it could get her mind off their conversation today and put her in a better mood, he’d go with it.
Emmy continued to smile up at him and gave him a vigorous nod of her head. Clearly excited about the idea of getting to eat ice cream before lunch. That was probably the only thing she was thinking about right now despite the fact that he’d mentioned getting to watch a movie later. Emmy stood up and motioned for Chai to get up too. When he did, she reached for his hand and laced their fingers together. Her hand was so small in his.
“C’mon papa, let’s get yâa and bpùu so we can get ice cream! I want chocolate!” Emmy swung their arms and pulled Chai along so they could find her grandparents and go out together.
Chai made a mental note to tell them about Emmy's name change and make sure they stuck to it for however long she wanted. For all he knew it could be a phase to help her heal past this heartbreak and might change her mind once she was older. Either way, he'd go along with whatever she wanted so long as it made her happy.
What Chai didn't know, or that he wouldn't learn until Emmy was much older and had finally decided to tell him, was that she decided to change her name because she believed that Emma was her mother's daughter, since that was the name she gave her.
Now she was Emmy, which was her father's daughter. Emmy is Chai's daughter, and she wanted nothing else. Once Emmy is old enough to change her name, she does so, legally, not wanting to have any ties to mother.
