Lily felt ill as she watched the conversation before her. Sirius sipped at his glass of firewhiskey, his hand running aggressively through the shaggy mop of hair that fell into his eyes. James finished his own drink, the heavy glass making a loud noise as it collided with the table,
“They’re being irresponsible. That’s what it comes down to.” James said heatedly, his eyebrows knitted into a firm frown as he looked at Sirius across the table, his arm draped over the redhead beside him. She’d visibly paled throughout the duration of their conversation, but it had gone unnoticed.
“How did they possibly think it was a good idea?” Sirius said, rolling his eyes as he took another rather large mouthful, before saying in a voice that was supposed to mimic Frank Longbottom, “’Say, Alice? You know what’s a great idea? Bringing a child into the middle of a war.’ I thought aurors were meant to be bright.”
Lily’s hand fell unintentionally to her stomach as she looked down at the table. They were at the Order’s headquarters in Whitby, and James had just spent the last ten minutes discussing with Sirius what an ‘irresponsible’ and ‘selfish’ decision they were making by having a child. She felt sick, and for once it didn’t have anything to do with the morning sickness.
She hadn’t told James yet. And here he was, inadvertently revealing his true feelings about the situation; sure, it wasn’t their situation, but it was as good as. She stood up quickly as she felt her eyes welling, blinking away the hot tears she moved quickly from the living room, and outside into the fresh, winter air. She shivered lightly, but the cold didn’t bother her nearly as much as the conversation inside did.
It wasn’t long before her husband found her, sitting outside alone on the back porch.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked, shivering slightly as he pulled his jacket further around him. She was looking down at her boots, as she quietly asked,
“Is that how you really feel? That it’s a mistake, for them to have a baby?”
He frowned faintly, “I’m just worried about them.” He said carefully, “About that kid, too. What if something happens to them, Lily? And they just have to leave their child alone in the world? Without anyone to look after them, to teach them about everything parents are supposed to teach their kids about… what if they just weren’t there for it? Don’t you think that’s a little selfish of them?” he asked quietly, his hand rubbing her back absentmindedly as they sat side by side.
There was a weighted silence, before Lily spoke quietly, “But what if nothing happened to them, James? What if they could be a family. What if they had a boy, and he looked just like Frank? But maybe he had Alice’s hair or her eyes? What if he was the cheekiest kid to ever live? But he was also so incredibly spoiled? Because we all know that Frank would spoil that kid rotten. He’d be a bloody trouble maker, because it’s in his blood, and Alice would complain; but secretly she’d love that he reminds her so much of Frank. What if he was a prefect or Head Boy? Or Quidditch captain? What if he fell in love and got married? If nothing happened to them, James - They’d get to see all of that happen, they’d get to be there for him, and they’d get to love him every day for the rest of their lives, because he would be theirs, always theirs.”
He watched in awe as she spoke, when his eyes caught the hand that lay on her stomach. When she was finished, he swallowed thickly, cupping her face with his hands as he said gently, “I suppose you’re right, Lily. But I get the feeling you’re not talking about Frank and Alice, are you?”
The look in her eyes spoke louder than her words ever could have, yet she still managed to whisper out, “No.”
He let out an unsteady breath as he asked, in the same soft tone, “Are we talking about you and I?”
Her head moved so fractionally that he almost missed it, but he didn’t. He saw the nod. And it was almost as though the gesture happened in slow motion. All at once his stomach churned, his heart fell into his stomach and his palms felt sweaty. His brain was trying to process what she was saying, what it meant;
She nodded, the expression on her face looked as though she was expecting him to run away or be furious. Though, he was to do neither.
She nodded once more, her cheeks beginning to burn the longer he didn’t react. His face immediately broke into a grin, and he kissed her tenderly, his hands still cupping her face as he whispered to her, “Brilliant.”
That was before the phrase, “I’m going to be a father,” flittered into James’ mind, before he fainted into the snow.
[Requested by lightacandledontcursethedark - send your requests here]
romaincrisis
vaporwave
jacobvanloon
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
kaledo-art
