@infinite-sadboihours - Tumblr Blog

who knew i’d experience getting heartbroken again at this age, when all i wanted was consistency, respect, transparency, and love. what makes it harder is that i can’t afford to stop. i can’t afford to be weak, to cry, or to question my own worth, because if i do, everything i’ve been through will feel like it was all for nothing. so yeah, i’m hurting. i’m sad. i’m disappointed. i want to cry, but i can’t.

passively slowly accepting that the way you wanted to be love and treated will never be given to you, it’s the only way you can get the happiness you want, even if it means sacrificing your own self

practicing stoicism. hope this doesnt kill me

At what point do we get used to the absence of those we’ve lost?

that happiness didn't last long

Who knew after everything that happened, I'll be entering 2025 with someone who loves and cares for me even I'm flawed. For the first time in my life, I'm genuinely happy.

Grabe no one in my family even bothered to message me during the holidays.

Another year of celebrating the holidays alone, just me and my thoughts.

the intimacy of a connection that is both genuine and pure >>>>>>>>>>>>>

infinite-sadboihours

I don't like the concept of someone wanting to know the “real” me.

It ruins the whole image of them that they had for you all this time. Once, they know who you are, how sad, depressing, and miserable you are, they’ll leave.

Rewatching Bojack Horseman, and there are many quotes I like on the show, but this one hits me hard,

"It doesn't get better, and it doesn't get easier. I can't keep lying to myself, saying that I'm going to change. I come from poison. I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch. That's my legacy. I have nothing to show for the life that I've lived, and I have nobody in my life who's better off for having known me."

This may not be about me directly, but it's something I really struggle with when it comes to how I feel about myself.

Just dropped my mom off at the airport. Isang linggo na yun? Mag isa nalang ulit sa condo.

Hi. Whats your top 3 Taylor Swift song?

Love Story

TTPD

Exile

yep, im back.

every time the universe gives me something to be happy about, let me have it just long enough for me to think “maybe this is it, this is the start that things do get better, that i still have hope", and then the universe barges in and yoinks me back in my place.

Chronic insomnia is back and haven't had enough sleep these past few months, everything feels so bright and zoomed out, physically I feel hollow. I hate this.

I don't even know why I'm holding it together at this point.

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