State of Mind.

Maybe one day we'll find the place where our dreams and reality collide.

[infiniteviii]

Like is guud

[bonjourfrenchwords]

[emotionalwords]

[nightlyquotes]

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

— André Gide, Autumn Leaves

[infiniteviii]

Holy shit. It’s been such a longg time since I’ve written on here. Hope everyone is well. Life has been fantastic. I’ve started a Jiujitsu journey for myself and my son and we love it so much. If there is one thing I can recommend to the world, that is to get yourself in jiujitsu. It will only make your life better. I promise you, and anyone who know, knows. 🫶🏼🤘🏼🫱🏼‍🫲🏾🤜🏼💥🤛🏾🫶🏼

Anyway, my life has been through and back and I’m still here. I’m working on things I need to. Just got out of a 3 year relationship. Still navigating life again. I’m loving the person I’m evolving into! My dreams and goals are clear and I know what I want and I will not stop until I get it.

[infiniteviii]

Here we are. Digging deep. You’ve been out of my life for 3.5 months. 104 days to be exact. You left me and blamed me for not hanging on. But I am now starting to come to terms with things. All of this has been killing me. I can’t think, I can’t sleep, or eat. I’ve been like a zombie, I guess these are the withdrawals. 11 more days and it would have been 1000 days. I’ve been waiting for the 1000th day of being together since we made it past 700 days. But that wasn’t really for long. It doesn’t seem like it was just 200+ days ago that I still felt like we were always going to make forever happen. I was terribly wrong. I was a codependent partner and I’m learning to heal my past and really dig deep into my life. I have been going back to counseling, it’s been tough. Lots of hard questions and reflection.

[infiniteviii]

Damn. How did my life get here? How did I let love take a shot again and why did I fall into comfortable patterns of allowing people, my family, my peers— disrespect me. I am going to do my best, this day forward to keep doing what I love and keep my faith, and honour myself and my son. I’m going to move forward and take a step to making my life better. What is written is already written. We can’t go back, erase it or wished it never happened. But.. don’t because you’re putting energy into negativity things that can not be changes. What we want to put forth that energy to just doing better than yesterday and keep moving forward.

[emotionalwords]

““you do not need to explain your decisions to anybody if you don’t feel comfortable doing so” - Unknown”

— (via thepersonalwords)

[nightlyquotes]

“We’re so distracted by how things end, we usually forget how beautiful the beginning was.”

— Lamiya Waheed

[thepersonalquotes]

[the-inspiring-quotes]

[nightlyquotes]

“You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are.”

— William Chapman

[nightlyquotes]

“Self-improvement never ends. Once you fix one problem, you discover another area that requires an upgrade. This continues until the day you die.”

— Ed Latimore

[the-inspiring-quotes]

[vomitingwords]

from my book when things are not FINE // ma.c.a

[infiniteviii]

…And I am feeling that way sometimes…

[vomitingwords]

"And I never thought that I would crave for always more than forever." she said. "Beautiful feelings for always. Always—even if I wouldn't live forever."

Consistency was never easy // ma.c.a

[vomitingwords]

"And I realized that what I want to end is not my life." she said. "But what makes me hate living."

It's that time of the year // ma.c.a