Words in Silence

There are days, when she has a lot of things, she wants to say. Yet there are also days, when she doesn't even know how to start writing what she really feels. My books are available worldwide through this link 👇 https://linktr.ee/ma.c.a

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I started sharing my writings on tumblr when I was 21 years old, without even dreaming about publishing my own book. I started out as someone who only wanted to post whatever I personally feel at that moment. I never even knew that people can reblog and like my post. Some people even told me that my username is disgusting. *smiles*

I just thought it would be nice to spill everything out. I know that life hits us hard sometimes, and we feel lost inside. I never dreamed about anything, and I just continue what myself is telling me to do. I listened to what my heart has to say. I started to actually listen to my own self. Then my blog started reaching more people without me even knowing. I started submitting my writings to a lot of platforms hoping that I could reach more. And surprisingly, I did.

In 2019 I told myself that I would finally write that book. But due to a lot of personal reasons, I wasn't able to publish it on the same year. I was only able to do it finally, this year, 2021. I was able to finally have the courage to self-published a book at 27 years old. It took me 2 years from the moment I decided to do it, to finally have it in my own hands. I didn't like it at first, so I had to edit it, and had to order for author copies multiple times. (I am not rich, and for my Filipino readers, I do understand that amazon shipping costs more than the price of the book itself. I really do.) And I was so shy about it, I can't even tell everyone. I just thought that, what if they don't like it? What if it doesn't sell? What am I supposed to do if it doesn't turn out the way I always wanted to?

There are still a lot of things I need to learn. A lot of things I have to see and observe. A lot of perspectives I have to understand. My debut book isn't perfect and it will never be, but now I am proud of it. I thank myself for at least trying to get out of my comfort zone, for at least taking one step forward no matter how little it may have reach at first.

And I wanted to thank all of my "sweeties" here on tumblr because it all started here. Thank you so much for pushing me to do better. Thank you so much for all your kindness and support. I truly appreciate each one of you. And as what I always say, I hope you're all doing fine. Breathe, sweetie. I am glad that you are here. Thank you so much for existing.

I genuinely hope that someday you'll be able to have the courage you need to make your dream come true.

Sending loves and hugs,

vomitingwords//ma.c.a

P.S.

Let my writings reach you on instagram, too!

@iamvomitingwords

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Hello everyone! It's been awhile. 🤗

I hope you're all doing fine.💖

I just want to share that my new baby is now available for purchase on Amazon.

🙏😊✨

Thank you so much for always supporting me and my writings. I truly appreciate it. I am so glad that you're still here. 💖💖

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If Words Could Hold You

Will I be able to reach you?

MA.C.A.'s second book is another attempt to reach people through words.

A new collection of prose and poetry that depicts love and life as a journey.

A fight that we've been trying to survive in our own different ways.

A new spill of thoughts, a new melody of emotions,

"If Words Could Hold You," might indeed be able to get through to you.

ma.c.a - Latest Videos, Instagram, Twitter, Pins Links

I hope you're doing fine.

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when things are not FINE//ma.c.a

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when things are not FINE // ma.c.a

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when things are not FINE // ma.c.a

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Where are you from?

I'm from the Philippines 😊

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Join words in silence • Community on Tumblr

This is a community for all the words you can't say out loud.

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then the rain falls first

before the sun rises,

and I've seen you

after I decided

not to fall in love—

again

where were you all this time // ma.c.a

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and there came my muse,

dressed in his masculine vibes,

trying to avoid staring

at my wandering eyes

pursing his lips

swallowing all those words

I wished he could say out loud

heart darker than mine // ma.c.a

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and then I learned

how to cry

without tears

falling from my eyes

behind clouds // ma.c.a

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"Were you frustrated?" he asked.

"I was. And it's beginning to feel like I could've done something different and still gotten the same result," she said while looking down on her weary hands. Tracing the lines on her palms with her shaky fingers. "I could've done something. I could've made a different choice. I could've found another way. I could've turned on a different road. And it's frustrating to know that, even if I did all that, it could still be the wrong choice."

Where were you? // ma.c.a

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"I don't want to think about it now," one of my closest friends once told me. "I'll think about what I can do once I'm already in that situation," she even added.

Before we got into this conversation, I was ranting about my life. And why are things not happening the way I want them to? As if the universe is against what I want. These past few months have quite stressed me out, and I don't have anyone to tell these things to. Because, honestly, I never wanted to bother anyone. I am just a typical person who keeps things to herself. Especially if it's too personal for me to share.

Earlier, while I was traveling to work, this conversation struck me once again. And I just remembered that I also said that before to someone I know. I used to think that way. I used to tell other people the same phrase every time they asked me what I would do if I were in a certain situation. And you see, I used to not overthink too much. Yes, I am an overthinker, but not to the point that I am experiencing now. I just thought that my overthinking got the best of me. I'm on the verge of quitting everything that I'm passionate about. In short, I was so close to giving up and stopping everything that makes my heart feel alive. I haven't felt so genuine in a while, as if everything I wrote was nothing but mere words that have no meaning at all. Something I don't really feel like writing about. I stopped having a long conversation with anyone. I stopped listening to what they really had to say. And just think, think, and think until it's time for me to go to sleep.

But then I remembered who I was before. I remembered that girl who doesn't easily give up on things just because she's stressed out. I remembered that girl who loved to lift people up with her words. I remembered someone who would not let anyone stop her from achieving what she wanted. I remembered who I was. I remembered myself saying, "Let's see what I will do if I'm in that situation." Even if I am not sure what I can exactly do when that moment comes, even if I'm not sure if I'm still alive to witness that, I remembered how hopeful I was. And I remembered how much faith I have that things will always work out. And even if they don't, it just means that it wasn't meant for me at all.

I just want to tell you that sometimes you have to remind yourself of the old you—the you who have lived and survived in the past—just to get you where you are right now. And remember that if you don't like where you are right now, you still have a chance to do something that might change where you're going. It might be a tough road to walk on. But the most important thing is that you've done something. You've never abandoned yourself and just given up on what you really want to do.

Hello, I'm just dropping by // ma.c.a

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I guess our wish has been granted! My book "If Words Could Hold You" is now available nationwide through 8Letters.

Here are the links to check it out!

Website:

http://tinyurl.com/yhj36767

Lazada:

http://tinyurl.com/yc5xcx6r

Shopee:

http://tinyurl.com/3bwnb4z2

Author profile: http://tinyurl.com/yhj36767

Thank you so much 8Letters Team for accepting my book and making one of my wishes come true.

I am always thankful for everything. I am sending everyone positive energy from where I am. I hope you're all doing fine. 🤗💗

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"Sometimes, I hope people can always say what they truly feel. And be genuine about it. No restrictions. No holding back. No keeping all the most important parts.

But then I remembered that I myself couldn't even do that. So why would I expect other people to be like that?

I realized that sometimes we have to choose what we only have to say from the words that we truly want to say. Every word doesn't have to be said out loud; rather, let our actions show what we truly mean. Because not everyone has the time to listen to what we're about to say, and that's totally okay. We human beings don't have all the time in the world to understand everything that's happening around us. We're all busy trying to save ourselves and live life the way we want to.

So it's fine if you can't compose yourself to say everything you want to. But remember that there are so many ways to reach those people who are important to you. And I hope you'll be surrounded by the right people who will lend an ear to hear the stories that you've been holding onto."

I wish I was braver // ma.c.a

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If Words Could Hold You // ma.c.a

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Hello! I hope you don't mind me asking. How were you able to publish your book on Amazon? How long did it take? Thank you so much!

Hello! Thank you for asking. I hope you're doing fine. ☺️ I published my book on Amazon through Kindle Direct Publishing. I'm sorry if I won't be able to tell every detail, however it's easy to follow the steps after you sign up and as long as you have your manuscript ready. Publishing on Amazon just takes days. While writing and editing the manuscript took me 2 years. 😅 I hope this answered your question. 🤗

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If Words Could Hold You // ma.c.a