Once again it's about a person who is following all my other blogs except for this one, and I NEED it out somewhere he can't see it;;
I deal with a lot of shit as most of you know. I deal with depression and eating disorder shit. I haven't eaten in over a week now. I've had small snacks every now and then, but it barely counts as food. I throw up if I eat too much.
Now the thing is, my friend here is dealing with some bad stuff too, I know that and I want to help him, however;; he's S O ATTENTION SEEKING in a way. In the beginning I didn't mind it. I really didn't. I figured he just wanted to let things out, but the thing is.. Now he looks more and more like a copycat??
Whenever I post something on my personal blog, or say a small thing to him, he suddenly decides to do the same. As in, I can write "I haven't eaten all day" under a cut and not say it TO HIM, and just minutes later he writes something that's practically identical to what I wrote. Now, I know I can trigger him, but it's getting to the point where it's ridiculous how much he needs to "let out" things EVERY time I try to let out things, as if he needs to drag attention to himself and not to me?
Now this is one of my best friends, which is why I feel so bad about this. Lately I have gone back to old habits of making myself throw up, and I have mentioned it on my personal. Now suddenly he says 'lol gonna make myself throw up' right after I wrote I was falling back to it? He hasn't done it since forever.
And this makes me believe more and more that he wants attention, which I don't blame him for, but the thing is, I deleted my main personal blog with 700+ followers, and now I have a new one with like 13 followers. When I post something, it gets nothing, but as soon as he posts a thing, his 6,000+ followers are there for him.
It's just so sketchy.. I can't even tell him anything anymore because as soon as I do he suddenly turns it around and takes what I have said and puts it on himself, as if he wants attention?
Today I had HORRIBLE stomach aches. I tried to eat something, but as soon as it got over the line from snack to meal, I felt sick. Horribly sick, and was almost close to throwing up. Now I told him this, and suddenly HE HAS STOMACH ACHES? JUST LIKE ME?
I SHOULDN'T BE ANNOYED BY THIS BUT I AM AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I TOLD HIM ALL OF THIS LITERALLY ONE DAY AGO AND HE WAS LIKE 'I'LL STOP' BUT THEN HE'S RIGHT BACK TO IT I CAN'T TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS WITHOUT HIM SUDDENLY GETTING THE SAME FEELINGS AND FEELING SAD OR SOMETHING. IT ANNOYS ME SO MUCH.
I also feel like he lies a lot to me, especially about his weight or something. Every time I mention my weight he says he's so fat, and he says he weight about 49kg, which is fucking annoying me so much because H O N E S T L Y ?
Last time I checked I weighed 10kg more than him then, and it's TOO sketchy to me, because me and him are almost the exact same height, and I am not going to sound rude but he is obviously a bit "bigger" than me. It makes no sense.
I don't fucking know what to do about this because he doesn't listen -- I'm starting to close away from EVERYONE about my feelings now because of this. Because of him. UGH.
kianamaiart
stormborns
titsay
