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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

If you've read anything by me, please don't be afraid to leave me a comment. I write for my own enjoyment but I post to contribute to the conversation that is fandom community and I'd love to know if y'all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Also I need an excuse to infodump about my process and comments give me somewhere to start.

idkwhattoputhere4010

There's something about Jax, a human, not being able to put away his pride and self-loathing which resulted in his abstraction, while Caine, an AI who doesn't have even one ounce of humanity, gave up his pride and power to understand humanity itself which led to his redemption.

There's something about Caine, although an AI, being made imperfect like how humans are imperfect. There's something about Caine, an AI, who cannot experience the battle between oneself like how Jax, a human with weaknesses and flaws, does, yet being able to win that battle, giving up the part of himself that would ruin him.

There's something about Jax, a human, who cannot overcome mental obstacles like how Caine does because he had free will to choose his ending, whereas Caine is bound by his coding to improve and become a better version of himself, as all AIs are programmed to do. There's something about Jax, a human who had the power to choose better for himself, choosing isolation over vulnerability and healing so often it quite literally gets programmed into his brain as a habit, leading to his downfall.

#tadc

tooltiptailcoat

rewatching the series, and...

Yknow, I think even from Episode 1, Caine was not doing so hot.

There's this frantic emptiness to him that feels like a guy throwing his entire soul into running away from the ennui of being an all-powerful god getting every material thing he could want instantly for 20 years. He's scattered and unfocused, which, to be fair, I think is partially just Caine's natural state (we love our little audhd king), but also it feels like he's BORED in the way that people hooked on Endless Scrolling are bored. And he's SO SCARED of acknowledging that boredom.

"Let's do a theme song! Let's play! Lets have a colorful fun adventure! Let's fill a whole room with an infinite stack of carousels!!! RIGHT!!!!!! NOW!!!" <-his emotional and mental needs are NOT being met. Rating: NOT CUTE. This AI is lacking in proper enrichment behaviors and has been patching the problem with maladaptive ones.

The humans are abstracting again, he CANNOT AFFORD to experience a negative emotion, so just keep it happy and light and silly and everyone will stay happy and light and silly! If he works hard enough, tries hard enough, things will be happy and light and fun forever!!!! Just like they used to be! Why aren't they anymore?

He was going utterly stir crazy in there never realizing that while he was surrounded by people he was still alone. There's a lot of talk about how the cast never treated him like a person, but I think he also forgot to treat himself like a person along the way, or perhaps, never quite knew how to in the first place. He got lost in his archetype and got confused when it wasn't fulfilling.

#tadc

deeply-unserious-fellow

I've seen a few people reading the fact that Caine is clearly toning himself down and masking in order to avoid being deleted again as like... a permanent thing for him and that's just what his life is gonna be forever or something, and it's bad writing that this wasn't addressed, but I kinda disagree with that take. I don't think it's permanent, and I don't think it's bad that it wasn't addressed.

By the end of the finale, Caine is STARTING to heal. He hasn't fully made up for everything he's done to the other members of the circus, but they're letting him try because he's clearly remorseful and clearly wants to change. There are inevitably going to be bumps in the road on that healing journey, and his obvious masking is probably gonna be one of them! But we won't get to see that whole journey because that isn't the story TADC was trying to tell.

TADC's stated meaning is "finding meaning in a stagnant life". It's not trying to tell an epic story about redemption, it's trying to tell a story about people learning how to accept themselves and live better lives than before. Caine is not perfect by the end of the finale, none of the cast is. And that's the point. They are people, they are going to keep growing and changing. They are only just starting to make the circus their home. It's a good ending point because it perfectly encapsulates the themes of the story!!! Life goes on, you can't just become a Perfecfly Well Adjusted person over night. It takes time and effort and some backsliding and some overcorrecting and you're really never gonna be fully perfect. It just matters that you try.

Anyway all that being said I would like 10 million Caine hurt/comfort fics where everyone tells him it's okay to be goofy and over the top and they won't delete him for getting silly with it. Thank you.

#tadc

marhola

This morning I saw a post saying that Caine lobotomised himself in 9 by removing the Blue AI with more than 6000 likes and I found the motivation to make one of my long posts.

However, I'm currently on the other side of the world (in Macau, specifically) and won't be back for more than a week, so you're getting the short version as of now.

No, Caine did not lobotomise himself in 9.

And I can explain why.

Because of a very simple fact: Caine had been masking thorough the entire show. The whole showman persona was a mask. We see numerous moments in past episodes in which he's being himself alone in which he's not acting. He's still a theatre kid, but not as explosive as what he displayed in the past episodes when masking. The Caine at the end of 9 was still himself. The most real we've ever seen him, because he dropped the mask.

The fact that I metaphorically soiled my pants for two months over this exact scenario of Caine "curing" himself by removing one of the two AIs when 8 rolled around makes this post extremely ironic. You can read about it here.

What I won't deny, though, is that it was too fast because of the limited runtime. It felt too fast to me. It felt artificial at some points so the story could be tied into a neat bow, even. But the basic idea is there. And I believe it's good.

I'm autistic. I mask through toxic positivity. I'm also a theatre kid. Caine and I are extremely similar in that regard, and one of the reasons I identify with him so much. I'm still myself when calmed down and in control of my emotions. Caine is, too.

Think of the Blue AI as a physical literal representation of Caine's ego and closed-mindedness. By releasing it, he did not become "neurotypical". He decided to learn and improve. He decided to mend his faults. He decided to become better.

In my opinion, Caine is fantastic neurodivergence representation. The fact that we got a happy ending for him in which he decided to improve instead of him becoming the cautionary tale like what happened with Jax is a gift. I got out of the cinema thinking we had got the perfect ending for him, and it makes me so sad the idea that got spread around is that he got "cured", "lobotomised" and that he is stuck faking his personality to avoid his deletion.

Have a nice week! Hopefully I can expand this once I get back. I have a ton to add, this was the basic idea.

#tadc

absolutedream-art

Caine throws a 'slumber party' for the circus group. No one is particularly enthusiastic about it, but especially Jax.

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#not the linear arrangement of beds XD #tadc

spectralpixelsredone

Something I noticed. A. Pomni not scared of Caine at all. B. Pomni's a jester and she pretty much heckled a King since Caine sees himself as such. C. What do Entertainers Hate? A Heckler.

the-hattur

Okay quick thing I wanna say, Caine doesn’t have a huge ego for 95% of the show. He’s just stupid and airheaded

BUT post “I AM GOD” spiel. His ego does inflate a large degree but not because he views himself as a king/god

Basically he did this:

So he did! He did go apeshit!

And he realized “damn! Why did I care in the first place?”

And in this moment is someone is calling his bluff,

basically someone mocking him going:

“you cared because it hurt”

“it hurt because you exposed a wound and someone poured salt in it”

TLDR; Caine never thought he was god, he just pretended he didn’t have a glaring weakness. And Pomni hit him right in the weakspot.

#tadc

maelicgrn

If only I had your humanity

Think Twice

Caine reminds me of little kids who break their toys when throwing a tantrum only to regret it later...in the end he really was just a child who wasn't taught emotional regulation 😔

#tadc

mazorca98

What is with these dumb silly poses he hits why does he move like that what

No but really, I love whenever Caine gestures like this, he moves so smoothly and cartoonishly and his animation is so good so cool so perfect and he's so perfect

#tadc