In Medical Res

Someone once told me I word good. It mattered.

[inmedicalres]

Went to my ultrasound, unclear if I was leaking because of my injury, because pregnancy, or if my water has broken. The MFM was very reassuring about just going to get checked out.

OPI "Funny Bunny,” with mermaid chrome overlay. Ring finger is the OPI chrome overlay.

The little one is au naturel.

[inmedicalres]

Worsened an old injury. I am very, very close to calling it and just going on maternity leave. Between contractions and a groin pull, ordinary changes in position are awful. And the groin pull involves the pelvic floor, so now my pregnancy incontinence is even worse.

Divine feminine my hemorrhoidal ass.

I was going to put an iridescent chrome over OPI "Kyoto Pearl" but I kept putting it off and I convinced myself it wouldn't look good anyway. I'll try with a different white.

[inmedicalres]

Went to triage again, as I had been instructed to return if the contractions got nasty. There is some cervical change, but not enough. My husband thinks the nurse was trying to inject levity by saying I "needed to be more uncomfy." I responded that I'd been in pain for five months, so how was I supposed to tell what was painful enough?

It's a good thing to not have a premature baby. But holy shit does it suck to be sent home with worsening (but not worse enough) contractions. So many people in my life inconvenienced, and I feel foolish, and also, ow.

I still haven't figured out how to photograph ILNP "Deep Space."

[inmedicalres]

Inside me are two wolves, both from 1965 Russo-Finnish production "Jack Frost."

One is Nastynka. "Oh, I'm fine, Grandfather Frost." *Continues seeing patient through active contraction*

One is Malfushka. "HyDrAtE?! Can't you see my fingers and toes are swollen?"

[tokkibean]

i do not “delete sentences” when they start “hindering the plot” i COPY PASTE THEM into a SEPARATE DOC made just for keeping all my USELESS LINES that i will also NEVER USE so therefore i should JUST DELETE THEM but i DONT because id FEEL BAD if i did

[harpyharpyharpy]

You don't actually have to kill your darlings. You can just put them in the oubliette #myoubliette

[inmedicalres]

I know these nails are fine, but I am crabby and I think the faint glitter topcoat I put over them just looks dirty.

I am being unreasonable, but this is the most harmless unreasonable I can currently manage.

[inmedicalres]

Ended up in the hospital for a few hours in what turned out to be false labor.

Now I am back home, and it sure as shit don't feel false, I tell you what. I've painted my nails and I feel dissatisfied with the result. I'm laying on my side because it offers some relief. I'm wondering if this pain is going to keep waxing and waning, because holy hell when it waxes all I want is for it to stop.

We are very simple creatures. We do not want to be in pain.

I hope my water breaks in a big obvious way so I can stop wondering how much longer it will be.

[inmedicalres]

I haven't touched my sequel in a month. Every time I have time, it just sounds like too much effort.

I am at least reading. My only beef with Brandon Sanderson is that his books have to have a concrete Force of Evil. I find that less compelling than the natural evils of human nature. But having something I don't like in a very good book does make me want to write, which is nice.

[inmedicalres]

Yesterday was brutal. New, intense pain, and MFM giving me a lot of data but no clinical opinion to go along with it beyond, "Let's wait and see." My contractions have started -- Braxton-Hicks, or the real deal? Baby's riding low -- like, engaged for labor, or what? Amniotic fluid's high -- if that continues, we might have to induce.

Today, I was prepared to be scolded kindly by PT for not doing my exercises because I've been in too much pain. Instead, they suggested we move to weekly targeted massage, since the strain on my injured muscles is only getting worse. I could cry.

Saw my OB, who let me know that she feels most of my concerns are more attributable to a second pregnancy than imminent labor. And here's the thing -- she and I both know she could be wrong. But I'm so goddamn grateful to hear someone offer a genuine clinical opinion, I don't care. Anything's better than my own limited clinical impression of my data.

My modified schedule starts tomorrow. I start work an hour later. This feels like a huge blessing.

I will relish feeling human and hopeful for as long as it lasts.

[inmedicalres]

Possibly lost part of my mucus plug today. Either that, or the horrors of pregnancy are a wellspring of novelty.

Every step hurt today. I feel like a shitty little mermaid.

I would pay one william dollars for someone to be able to tell me precisely when I'll be giving birth. The uncertainty makes every little symptom spike my anxiety.

I let my doctor know. The nurses gave me a canned response. I know that's their job. I'm just not at my most reasonable these days.

Mooncat "Bloodbender." Reddit did not steer me wrong, it's quite stunning.

[inmedicalres]

A conventionally haggard man.

[inmedicalres]

I microwaved a caprese salad.

ILNP "Deep Space" w/horseshoe magnet.

[inmedicalres]

This very small duck was gifted to me from a patient who deals with a lot of pain and depression. It moves me that he can feel like shit and still spread joy.

[inmedicalres]

I'm in compression socks now. The swelling isn't painful, but I get distracted by how big it can get.

My son has been very fussy. It's tough--no matter how much time we spend outside, it's always a tantrum when we come back in. My husband is being very philosophical about this.

Ultrasound yesterday was normal. I always get anxious that they'll find something incompatible with life.

My husband got me bitchin magnetic polish for my birthday. ILNP "Deep Space".

[atesan]

THE LAND BEFORE TIME (1988), dir Don Bluth

[inmedicalres]

A satisfaction I have always dreamed of.

[inmedicalres]

Got the Dexcom! Not terribly accurate though, I keep having to recalibrate it.

Pride nails! Base colors above, and then how they responded to OPI chrome overlay. I did it early in the morning, so it's wavy, but it works for over-the-top looks like this.

[inmedicalres]

"Idk man, I just can't stop painting these mfing water lilies."

- Claude Monet