JAHSEH'S LEGACY & FINDING PEACE IN HIS PASSING:
Jahseh once said that if he ever died a tragic death, he would want his life and the things he stood for to be something we made positive for our own lives, and I am forever dedicated and committed to spreading and sharing that word, because he deserves for something good to come out of him losing something so important; his life. 🕊️
He deserves for us to not just let him be taken from this world, and from us. He deserves to live on through the world he created for us. Ig it lives on, so does he, because he is our world. If we carry it on, we carry him on. An angel got his wings and was crowned king on June 18, 2018, but we don't have to feel so far away. We can fly, too.
He's always been my strength, my savior, my rock, my support, my superhero, and the best half of me. It's just that, now, he has to hold us close with his wings. I know it hurts that we can no longer fall back into his arms for comfort and strength, but by putting his heart into the sky to shine down on us once more and forever after, through continuing on and giving the world the warmth of his heart that he had given to us for many years, the sun will always shine. ☀️
Walk by his side forever and never let go of him, or everything that he ever gave, everything that he ever did to save us. Then, you will feel the light closely and find comfort in the warmth that wraps around you. That's Jahseh. 🙌 He's thanking you for being the reason that he will always shine. That's how you keep him close. You can't just can't let go of him. He's not gone. Our love between each other still radiates and is still being reciprocated back and forth, just like it did before. Only in a different context.
He always saved us because we always saved him, and we always saved him because he always saved us. Now, in this time of our lives, he keeps shining for us because we STILL keep shining for him, even after his death. And, still, we keep shining for him because he still shines for us. ✨
See, our love hasn't changed. That's one thing that will never change. Nothing can ever replace or take away, nothing can make our hearts different for each other, or beat differently for one another. He still loves us just as we will always love him. They may have taken him from his body, but that will never change who he was, it will never change who we are because of him, and it will never change who we are together, with him. Nothing could ever change who he was for us and what he became because of our unconditional love and support.
He's still loving us and thanking us everyday for being his, just like he use to. Remember, he wouldn't have been saved from the bad that sunk him if it wasn't for us. He has said it - he would've never made it this far if it wasn't for us. He would've never lived to have a song on Billboard, nor would he have ever lived to know that he was strong enough to conquer all. He wouldn't have lived to see himself overcome his demons and conquer his greatest fears if it wasn't for us. Yes, it breaks my heart that he was taken right when he was on the path to recovery. And, yes, I will forever be broken because of the dream that I had, now lost, and now will never get to see it come true; the dream of seeing him change and grow as he healed, COMPLETELY. The dream of seeing love finally treat him right and him finally giving himself everything, all the happiness and love, I always knew he deserved and was worthy of, none of us will ever get to experience with him.
It broke me to be here for years and watch him falter. I cried through the arrests, I cried to the exes, and I cried knowing he was hurting so badly that he couldn't feel anything. I've cried looking into his eyes, even when he smiled for years trying to disguise the pain. Parts of my soul died just seeing the brokenness inside that he tried to hide. I laughed with him and watched all his f his videos when he'd talk to us, just being the weird and dorky Jahseh. I got angry with him, seeing him turn to glorifying materialism, and "using" women because he didn't want to love.
I was always so protective and just wanted to see him do the best and give himself the best. It broke me and angered me when he did less than that, but I knew by the look in his eyes that there was something inside that he would find one day. I knew who he was just looking into them, way before he even figured it out himself. I always knew him and I always loved who that was purely. I'm torn that he didn't ever get for the chance to care about himself, and meet himself face-to-face for the first time. But, if it wasn't for us, he wouldn't have even lived to have seen the beginning of the road to recovery.
More than anything, I'm just so thankful that I got to know Jahseh. Even though he was still taken too soon and I had so much excitement, pride, and happiness in seeing him finally allowing himself, and helping himself, to grow into his big heart with a healthier mind. I had so much pride, love, happiness, and thrill, watching him grow into his heart in ways that weren't destructive to himself or others anymore. I just beamed with sunlight from my heart at seeing him learn how to feel pain and not let it consume him or run from it.
He learned how to take time for himself, and I'm glad he had that time with himself. I enjoyed watching the man that grew, and the heart I knew, come to life right in front of my eyes, like I always had faith that it would.
People say it's so sad that he was taken when he was on the road to recovery, but I say that I'm proud I was a part of the reason he even lived to see the light of recovery. And I'm even more proud to say, as much as I am glad, that he got to live to see that he has always been stronger than he's ever felt before. I'm so honored to know that there really is a better day, and he began to find that because if me and you, and because of his determination and strength. I'm glad he got to appreciate himself, and give time to himself, to know who he was before he had to let himself go.
Jahseh always had faith in a day where things would clear up, love would prevail, and happiness would radiate. He fought for it for years and years, but he never gave up on it. He fought for that better day for himself without knowing if he was trusting and believing in something that wasn't even real. He fought blindly for it no matter the lost hope, the mistakes, the collapses and falls. You might think it's sad he had been taken when he was just right there, so close, to everything he had ever fought for. He was so close to everything he had ever had faith in enough to pick the pieces up each time they fell, no matter how badly they cut him to pick them up, no matter how much he bled out, and he put his broken heart, his everything, his soul and spirit, right back into his chest, and placed each peace with faith that he would find where they fit. Even when it was just an unsure place he didn't know if he would ever reach, or if it even existed, he put heart and soul into fighting for the possibility of it that he believed in. 🥀
So, you can think it's sad that he was taken right when he reached that day, but I'm just thankful, and I find pride in that day. I find happiness, and I find comfort, in knowing that he had the chance to see that he wasn't ever just fighting for nothing all of those years that he walked by faith blindly and fought battles that would have killed a million hearts, that would've burnt up all of the hope of anyone else if they were to go to war like his mind and heart was battling. I'm so thankful that he got to see that day, even if he didn't get to live to feel the healing for too long.
The thing isthat, HE GOT TO FEEL WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HEAL. HE GOT TO SEE THAT HE WAS STRONGER THAN HE EVER KNEW OR EVER FELT HE WAS WHEN HE WAS STRUGGLING TO FIGHT, AND STRUGGLING TO GET CLOSE TO THE BRIGHTER DAY. HE GOT TO FEEL HIS STRENGTH, HE GOT TO LEARN ABOUT HIMSELF AND SEE WHO HE WAS. HE GOT TO REST WITH PEACE KNOWING THAT THE IMAGE AND VISION HE HAD OF GOOD AND HAPPINESS, WAS NOT AN IMPOSSIBLE DESITINATION LIKE I KNOW HE HAD TO FEEL IT WOULD TURN OUT TO BE SOMETOMES.
It's not sad he was taken on the road to recovery, that's not even close to being a sad thing about his loss. HE GOT TO FEEL SOMETHING BETTER THAN ALL OF THE PAIN, AND HE GOT TO EXPERIENCE HOW MUCH LOVE AND HAPPINESS WAS WORTH THE FIGHT WHEN HE FINALLY GOT TO FEEL IT.
That's the most peaceful and comforting thing about this. He got the chance to see his strength and know he was never fighting for nothing. He got to be our strength and got to have us as his strength, as well.
Now, don't you think that he deserve to be recognized further and carried on through our lives?
There's peace that I am brought by carrying on his legacy, and that strength is the ONE thing that I think everybody could grow from, if they pay attention to him. He deserves the attention and he deserves for his legacy to be seen by many, and carried on by all in some way.
I will forever be a part of that legacy, and I will forever share it to the world, because I am more than blessed and gifted with the knowledge of him, and with the first-hand witnessing of his progression and change.
I will thank him for allowing me to be a part of that, apart of his life and legacy, by always spreading the message of his life, his heart, and who he was completely.
I will thank him for everything he's done and been for me, for allowing me to be a part of him, each and every day, by living through his legacy, with the memories and meaning of his life. I will thank him by sharing his words and his mind, by teaching others of what his heart and soul was.
Thank you for listening. 🖤
