About Me
About me... the short version. I would love to tell you more, just ask.
Here is the short version. This is a profile to explore something that falls between a fantasy and a desire and an obsession.
I have always been more of a "beta". I have always been smaller and more effeminate. I didn't play sports, and i never really fit in with the other guys. If anything, I've always found myself mixed in with the girls anytime i'm at a gathering.
But figuring out where I fall on the sexual spectrum has always been more difficult.
I don't think I'm fooling myself when i say that I've found both men and women attractive throughout my life. If i take gender out of the question, it's always aggressive, confident, dominant people. More than that though, people with just a little hint of a mean streak to them.
I started dressing when i was in junior high. But i kept it secret. I grew up in a small down and there wasn't ever an opportunity to really explore those feelings. I had many more straight relationships, in fact it wasn't until college that i met a man who taught me how right it could feel to be under the control of a strong rough, and yes, just a tiny bit evil, man.
Time passed... I met a nice girl with a little naughty streak. We fell in love and were married. Life settled down, i've been monogamous. A few chatrooms and picture exchanges, but i love her too much to cheat on her. We've lived a normal life, not a big life, but a pleasant small life. Our sex life has declined, it's my fault, i know. Sexually, there are things she wants that I just can't give her. But we are still generally happy.
And then i saw ameera's tumblr [http://ameera-obeys.tumblr.com/]
And i felt like the world was pulled out from under me. I know it's a fantasy, one of the other members of the sisterhood called it a fantasy game even. And I don't want to over think where that line between fantasy and reality is.
This feeling is too strong. I'm just going to follow it for now. And Stop over thinking every thing. Unfortunately, i feel like i'm chasing ghosts. Most of the linked tumblr blogs have been inactive for months or years. I made my own tumblr blog just in case [http://innadaeif.tumblr.com/]
There was a comment left by one member of the sisterhood, or maybe an admirer, that some people had moved over here to fetlife.
So here I am... no plan, trying really hard not to think about things too deeply or look too far into the future. Just letting myself get picked up and carried away by this overpowering fantasy.
