An insane bookworm & writer

Completely insane; you've been warned. Love to read, write, and sleep. Currently in college.

[insanebookwormandwriter]

How can it?

It’ll get better,they say.Life will improve,you’ll heal,they say.How canitwhen Iexpectthe worst?

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Stress. That's what I cause.

Stress. Am I thecause of theirstress?Is his bloodpressure highbecause ofme?Does she havechest painsbecause of me?I am anabandonedchild, loved byparents whose bloodis different frommine, but I lovethem, too. Nowthey’re thinkingabout leaving,parting like thesea when Jesusspoke. Theythink they’ll beleaving each other,but they cannotseethat they areleaving theirchildren, too, whowill be confused…

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

'I am strong.'

Sadnessspreads through meand Itry to grabit andshove it backdown,but it dodges myhands,screaming itsway up to myeyes, to mybrain,my breathcoming ingasps now,my visionblurring,so I close myeyes tightly,and whisper,“I am strong,”to myself,breathing in all mydoubts, allmy fears, all myinsecurities deeply,and when Iopen my eyesagain,I exhaleall mytroubles andbreathe inconfidence,happiness…

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Alive and kicking

I need lovelike I mustbreathebut my chestfeels so tightit’s impossible tothink any amountwill give meenough strength toinhalecomfortablyinstead oftrying to createcarbon dioxidewithoutthis excruciatingknife tearingitselfthrough my lungs upto mythroatmaking itclench as myeye overflow, theblood runningdown mycheeks, wishingfor just a littlelove.

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

emotional abuse

Laughter is all Ihearwhether it’s atme orsomething Idid orsomething Iam, Idon’t know,I just want toescape the Laughter that I don’twant tofear, but I’veexperienced itheavily, I can’thelp butexpect their Laughter occurring aftersarcastic remarksconcealed insidejokes butone look in theeyes of thespeakerproves theymeant tostrike deepknowingthat is wouldraise Laughter that I hearexploding…

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

This block in my mind

Thinking, it’s what I’m alwaysdoing, and I’mtrying to keep a level head, but I’mweeping,laying in my bed, and I’mrhyming my poems, which is weird,reading them out loud,wondering what’s got megoing insane like this,expressing my thoughts in a constantrhythm, and finallybreaking, oh, wait, no, I’mlying, I can’t seem to get mywriting back on track, it’s like I’mcreating a new kind of poetry, though…

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Fighting for breath

Gasping for air, thepain spreadingfrom thecore of myheart to both ofmy lungs,cutting off myoxygen as Isink to mykneesbegging forHim to let mebreatheagain when Irealize I’m notdying, but Gasping from the amount ofsadness thatI amfeeling from themost recent lossof love andjoy and Ican’t help butlay here Gasping as my chesttightens, a wrenchingcry escaping mylips when Itry to forget andthen…

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Salt water

Tears turn tocrystalsthat embedthemselvesin mypneumaturning it intoa scaryplacethat I don’t evenwant toenter,wiping my Tears that appear for noreasonbecause thepaininside is tooconfusing to knowwhy there are Tears staining the invisibleshoulderof someone who is notthere butinsteadI’m huggingmyself, trying tobreathe through the Tears that are always linkedto sadness,when it’s notthat…

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Human, I am.

Human I amas stubbornas aflowerthat refuses togrow in thesun, so itdiesin the dark,out of rangefrom any Human I amthe dragonflywith a brokenwingbecause itdecidedto trustsome Human I amlooking up atthe sky,waitingfor the timewhen I canfly, bymyself as a Human I amoverthinking, pleadingfor a happiness thatwill never comebecauseI am Human.

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

More than this

More than this there has to bemore to thislife than I havealready, asI lay on mybed, imagining ifthere could ever be More than this pain that I’mfeelingI don’t know if I’mdreaming orawake, caught betweenless and More than this ink that I’mbleedingon to thispage that I’mripping,destroying what’sleft of myhope that therewill be More than this.

View On WordPress

[kingdom-of-dorian]

dude, throne of glass I, chapter 5, page 39, Celaena says:

"It has been a while since Celaena used her long lost gifts, even though the memory of her habilities haunted her dreams."

this has been translated, so it might not be exactly as it says in the English version, but you guys get it

i mean, Sarah did this five chapters along the FIRST book.

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Right?! Like, if you read up to at least the third book and then go back to the first, you can find little hints to Celaena’s past and her Fae powers. (SPOILER ALERT). It’s super cool how Sarah J. Maas wrote them in there.

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Tiers that burn

Layers of a cakethat has beendividedbut is nolongersweet due to thepoisonon the handsof all thelittle girls andmedium andbig girls thathave touched it,disturbing the Layers of the masks thatgirls wear when theybecome thefake person theybelieve will helpthem move on withtheir lives butthey forget that with Layers comes lies anddifficult truths andconfusion that willdestroy the strongbond…

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Halloween 2020

No tricks ortreats orpumpkins thisyear. No kids ringingthe doorbell,asking forcandy. No creepy orcrawly orfaces of purefear. But I stillchoose todress up.

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Keep shining

You have alightinside you.Don’tlet thatlight goout.Take it andknowthat you canstanda little taller,hold yourhead a littlehigher.

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

I miss you both.

I miss you both.

Freezing pillowhas nowarmthjust likethat littledrawerinside myselfhas noglowjust likethatspace in theback ofmy animushasno memory.

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

Supposed to be?

I’m supposed to be strong. I’m not strong but weak and vulnerable. I’m supposed to be kind. I’m not kind but twisted and cruel. I’m supposed to be wise. I’m not wise but silly and inexperienced. I’m supposed to be happy. I’m not happy but broken and depressed. I’m supposed to be organized. I’m not organized but messy and anxious. I’m supposed to be willing. I’m not willing but stubborn and…

View On WordPress

[insanebookwormandwriter]

I can lure...

I can lure…

My pneuma is adrawbridge.I can lurepeople in andgrant themthe ability topass,but I putup awallwhen theydrive tooclose.

View On WordPress