keep it to yaself

byun baekhyun's thoughts. (ooc knowledge only)

[insidebaek]

this picture says a lot about us and i'll tell you why. chanyeol is such a big part of my life and he always takes the time to even whisper silly things when we're on stage to make me smile or laugh. but that's been our dynamic, always. and i would never trade this for anything in the world. i'm sorry that maybe i took another road for a while, but i'm glad it still led me to him. i'm thankful for having him in my life and i feel very content and lucky that even after tough shit we've gone through, we're still together and taking it a step further by getting married. marriage is complicated and frustrating, but also demanding and exhausting. but i wouldn't share it with anyone else in the world but him. i'm glad we could both fix things and oficially get united as one. thank you for still sticking by my side and choosing me as your person, park chanyeol. i love you with all of my heart. 12212018

forever yours,

byun park baekhyun

[insidebaek]

i've actually decided that taehyung and i are... going nowhere. he wants to remain friends but i honestly can't. i'll have days where i don't care with what happened, but i'll also have days where i'll hate myself over it and i'm just over how unstable i feel mentally... so i blocked him. he doesn't beed to deal with me going off on him for it, it's tiring for him and for me, because ifeel like i can't control that aspect of myself. it's the safest option for the both of us, he won't miss me so it's okay. meanwhile chanyeol and i are working towards fixing our relationship, or what was left of it. and we're getting there. even though there will be a part of me that will yearn taehyung for a while, i'm going to ignore it. i can deal with it as long as i don't interact with him though, so it's alright. crushes are just something that pass by. this too shall pass.

[insidebaek]

i don't understand why i need to be lied to.

[insidebaek]

that was like a punch in the gut

[insidebaek]

you say you miss me but honestly i just think you lie to me

[insidebaek]

it's been two days. i miss you, but you don't miss me.

[yarter-deactivated20170523]

[cups-of-galaxies]

“Why did you leave? Why did you go leaving me lonely? Didn’t you know you were the home, you were the only? Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go? Come back to me. You were my one.”

— Imagine Dragons - Stuck

[dominicfiked]

[hennyjams]

Visit Original Link

“Lie to Me” (acoustic) - 5 Seconds of Summer

On the Record: 5 Seconds of Summer (2018)

[insidebaek]

i didn't want to dump him i didn't i... miss him so much and i miss chanyeol too and i just

i wish i could have them both? but i can't. and i feel like a fool too. jongin didn't even know i was dating tae so that shows how important i was to him. i feel like he just wanted me to keep me hidden. he says he was falling for me but.... is it true? i doubt it.

but jongin has him completely now. i dumped him. i'll try to fix whatever i can with yeol.

[insidebaek]

i guess i just???

tae asked me yesterday if i'd be okay with him seeing someone else and i mean i don't mind it??? but when he told me he's been flirting and /fucking/ one of my bandmates it's.... not the same. if he wouldve asked maybe straight up "can i fuck someone else" i would've just left him and gone my way. maybe it's because he hasn't fucked me that he looked for someone else?????? the fact that it's jongin hurts, too.

i've been staying at minseok's for about a week now and i've also visited chanyeol but my moods have been so awful.

[insidebaek]

i'm so stressed about it

[insidebaek]

chan's..... in the hospital..... and he's so bruised and fucked up injust

[insidebaek]

oof that felt like i got stabbed in the heart

[insidebaek]

i didnt know tae was fuckin kai too lol

[tymps2005-deactivated20140827]

*wakes up* what the fuck