Black Paradise.

Behind these smiles are secrets and lies.

[insidetheblackparadise]

Good night. #ThisIsHowIPictureMySleepParalysis #FallingDeep #DeepSleep

[insidetheblackparadise]

What the hell was I thinking?

[insidetheblackparadise]

If I was gone would anyone find me?

[insidetheblackparadise]

kewl.

[insidetheblackparadise]

I remembered that I am a nobody.

[insidetheblackparadise]

Every night I ask grim reaper to take me with him. He's always in my dreams/nightmares. I'm like come at me bro. Lols. Please take me with you.

[insidetheblackparadise]

My heart is going to explode. I can't take it anymore. 😢💔

[insidetheblackparadise]

Wala nang natira sakin. 😢

[insidetheblackparadise]

And you need to know That nobody could take your place, your place And you need to know That I'm hella obsessed with your face, your face Oh, my heart hurts so good I love you, babe, so bad, so bad Oh, oh my heart hurts so good I love you, babe, so bad, so bad~ I'm really fucked up after all of this. Thank you. 💔😢

[insidetheblackparadise]

Did you took advantage of my kindness? Do I have to ask? I already know. And it fucking hurts. Because the truth is you don't really care. Kill me please. I will thank you.

[insidetheblackparadise]

Yes. It really is expensive. I bet you don't care how am I feeling? Right?

[insidetheblackparadise]

The pain It's determined and demanding To ache, but I'm okay...~ I just love the pain that I'm feeling right now. And the pain loves to linger on me.

[insidetheblackparadise]

I hope you are happy that I have to pick up the broken pieces of this heart that you have left.

[insidetheblackparadise]

I can't be the same. I will never be the same. I trusted all. I risked it all. I gave it all. I was too kind to everyone except myself. I was taken by everyone for granted. Are you happy now that I have changed? Are you happy that I'm hurt?

[insidetheblackparadise]

I fucking changed. I can't joke around about the little things like we used to do, in fact I'm more serious because I want people to take me seriously. I can't fool around, I don't want to look stupid just so people can be happy. I can't laugh anymore like no one is watching, like I am the only person in the world just how we used to. I can't smile like I used to from morning to midnight like I am not getting tired. I'm not happy like I used to. I lost my happiness and you took it. I will never be the same. You change me.

[insidetheblackparadise]

I just don't like people anymore. I've lost all trust for the people around me including myself.

[insidetheblackparadise]

I have chosen to fall in love with people who will never love me back. Why would I do such indelible things? Because I think I deserve the pain. -Peppa George C: Elana Katz