myrin

꣑ৎ 18m. 𖦹 gay

[insomniance]

friend texts me and says not to relapse again

little does she know that i did RIGHT before she texted, whoops

[insomniance]

MY BLADE IS DULLLLL I CANT GET PAST A CATSCRATCH FUCKKK

[insomniance]

AGHH I JUST WENT OVER ANOTHER CUT FUCK

[yourgirlinpieces4]

my cuts don't get infected bcs im full of whimsy

[insomniance]

i get soooo bored cutting sometimes. too scared to go deeper than a styro but not scared to pierce myself?? make it add up. anywayssss i might give myself a septum or a third lobe >.<

[insomniance]

is it really a relapse if i only temporarily stopped so ppl could stop bothering me...

[insomniance]

talking w my therapist n accidentally told her i be overdosing on my meds n she just goes "well let's make sure to take the meds as prescribed" no actually yolo

[daaririn39]

does anyone else also feel like they are faking their problems if they are not actively suffering?

[insomniance]

and if i ever come up with another plan im gonna block all those stupid fuck ass fake "friends" who wouldn't even remember I existed til it's too late

[insomniance]

im so ready to kms, but i wanna go in the least thought evoking way. I don't want people to talk about "how young" i was, or bothering my family with "you should've paid more attention"

i don't want it to be anyone else's fault either. so staging a car crash doesn't work cause 1, i don't want to trouble anyone else and 2, i would probably have to leave a note with the guy stating that i used him to kms which will already make it suicide.

i could also "fall" off a bridge, but then people ofc would automatically assume i jumped.

also i would hate my family worrying about me. having everything around to constantly remind them of me. even more selfish because there's traces of me everywhere. id just want them to live their best life without me in it because that's the best for everyone. yet there's no way to be happy without hurting someone.

this is the first time in my life that i have no clear direction in at all and it hurts so bad

[insomniance]

life rlly rllly sucks again ughhh i wanna cut but i don't feel like hearing anyone's mouth abt it. or my mom trying to pull up my sleeves n show people :/

[insomniance]

i think of you when i cut <3

[insomniance]

how to ask someone if you can put them on your tomodachi life island so you can live your best life with them on the game no glue no borax

[razorbladed-sugarcoated]

[insomniance]

i wanna be a zombie or a vampire. something where i never have to think about what i'll eat or wear or anything because it doesn't matter. either i'll be super fucked up to the point where i have no mind left, or i'll live for so long that it really doesn't matter what i do since i've done it all. i just want to feel free to be me.

[insomniance]

ahsshhfhdhdh he's so fucking sexy i can't stand it. he's so perfect in every way of the word. i'd want to pull him into my arms and teach him to be mine forever and ever.

[insomniance]

i wanna think of him while i do it. when i cut, when i jerk off. i always want to think about him. fuck, imagine if i got to cut in front of him. maybe he'd be scared, worried, or maybe he'd be so fucking grateful. maybe even turned on. that would be so amazing