the-king-of-the-wind:
“Ah, yes of course, forgive me for being presumptuous.” Richard’s expression did not falter, did not flicker despite the weight that seemed to double over his chest. He realized the moment Hubert had spoken how much he had assumed from the words that the Lieutenant had spoken. It was not often he made so foolish an error; it was one that, as king, he was not permitted to make. Had it been his own personal desire for forgiveness that had caused him to hear what he wanted in the words he’d been offered?
Hubert was right, of course. There were so many he had hurt, so many that had suffered because of his mistakes. The more he thought on just how many, just how much damage he had done, it became almost overwhelming, the burden prepared to crush him beneath its weight. There was still so much to be done, so many things for which he needed to make amends.
But perhaps… that was foolish of him to believe. To think that all of his mistakes, all the damage he had done could be fixed. That he could simply apologize and think that things might return to how they’d been… There were perhaps some things that simply could not be forgiven.
So perhaps there is the faintest traces of surprise in his eyes when Hubert turns to face him, when he doesn’t walk away as the monarch expected.
“That is what I am trying to accomplish, though I do at times wonder if I am succeeding or not.” He knew he had much to do before he could earn the trust of President Paradine or Chanellor Eigen after wronging both their nations so; so much damage even within his own lands that he struggled to mend. Moving forward was far easier said than done… but he owed it to the world, and perhaps to his friends especially to accomplish it no matter how hard that task may be.
“Thank you, Hubert…” Richard spoke quietly. “But you have already done more for me than you ever should have needed to, and I do not make light of all I put you through.” To ask more of them…? He felt that he hadn’t that right- yet he knew… he was still to weak to accomplish all he needed to on his own. “I appreciate that. I will be certain to keep it in mind. I hope you know the same holds true in reverse. If you’ve ever need of assistance in anything, I would gladly do all that I can to help you.”
‘Forgive’--the word slipped from the monarch’s mouth yet again. Was that the only thing on his mind? Not that the militant could fault such, knowing the weight of guilt ‘pon his chest, knowing that what he felt was only a fraction of what Richard had felt as well. But--how to get it across, that he felt there was nothing for him, specifically, to forgive? He’d not been the one most affected, and in the end, had only been doing his duty, as opposed to the others’ more personal reasons for fighting. And as near-apocalyptic an event as it was, that journey--it’d given him a lot of chances to change, to grow. He felt he was a better person after it all, and that it’d done much to forward the world’s growth in general. There was peace, compromise, technology advancing at rapid pace, the countries were no longer fighting over limited resources--
Perhaps he ought be saying thanks, instead, for being that which instigated change. There were still problems, of course, but so many things had been rectified, that taking on these problems seemed more than feasible with all that’d already happened. The world was changing, and for the better. And Richard (and Lambda) had started it all.
“ And what exactly have I done, specifically, for you? “ Brow raised, humor upon lips spread thin. “ Aside from helping you learn Antidote, and that doesn’t seem like much at all. Nor can I recall much that I’ve done that wasn’t at the orders of my superiors, or for the sake of my own country. “
His words aren’t meant to be hurtful, or lacking any kind of fondness--rather, they were light, meant to help ease whatever weights might be keeping the royal from asking for favors, help. He himself was the type to refuse help as much as he could, even when in dire need, to save face, pride--so doing what he could to make it seem as if asking for aid wasn’t shameful or a bother seemed a natural thing to do when letting others know they had his hand.
“ This might sound out of place, coming from me, but perhaps you oughtn’t take yourself so seriously all the time. I know you’ve a busy schedule of being ruler, and obsessing over all you can do earn forgiveness, but surely in your private moments, around friends, you could put such on hold? Relax. “
