i’m really sorry for my bad activity........... if anyone wants to write something new w me or something let me know lol and i’ll try my best as well as get to replies bc i suck
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@insxuciiance-blog1
i’m really sorry for my bad activity........... if anyone wants to write something new w me or something let me know lol and i’ll try my best as well as get to replies bc i suck
It wasn’t insomnia, Luke would argue whenever someone asked why he often was out so late at night. It was merely a habit that he adopted from the days when he did have difficulties sleeping from time to time, and now, despite being half asleep on some nights, he still would pull himself out of his room to drive to Erika’s or have her pick him up so that they could spend late nights down at the park. ( Besides, an empty park at 2 AM was a good place to practice some of his dribbling and shooting. )
Tonight, it was his turn to drive them over to the park. He pulled over in front of Eri’s and turned off his headlights, — afraid to wake up anyone else in the house — and swiped his phone over to her contact. Pressing the call button, Luke lifted the phone to his ear. “Eri?” he greeted, a playful grin curving over his lips. “I’m outside already. Five minutes or I’m leaving without you.”
Somewhere along the line, her late night drives with Luke ( her friend? her best friend? ) had become part of her routine as much as hitting the snooze button twice did. But when you’re getting used to it meant looking forward to it, routine was a dangerous thing to form. It could end at any moment, that tiny, tiny voice in the back of her mind hissed, he could leave, too.
And yet, here Erika was, grabbing the nearest hoodie off her desk chair as she dove for her phone nestled in her sheets at the same time. “Jesus Christ, Luke Holden, it’s 1:30 in the morning. Honestly,” she retorted when she picked up, slipping her arms through her jacket with her phone pressed to her ear. The teasing words fell from her lips all too easily. “I’ll be there in three.”
Running down the stairs, footsteps light and quiet ( her dad would murder her if he knew she was out this late ), she slipped out the front door and ungracefully into the shotgun seat of Luke’s car. “Warn a girl more than five minutes before, would you?”
“I do know you, that’s true,” Amelie agreed, and the gleam in her eye suggested there was more to her reply than simply agreeing with her best friends’ statement. I do know you, and that’s how I know you’re desperate to throw that wine. There were other subtle, ‘accidental’ ways to make a point about the male’s behaviour more befitting of the ladies they were born to be. It was something Amelie was still trying to teach her somewhat more impulsive friend. Amelie smiled charmingly at the boy, but there was little warmth in it.
“Pleasure to meet you, I can see why you’d prefer Nate. Nathaniel is a bit of a mouthful. It suits you.” Faint amusement danced in her eyes. She tugged almost imperceptibly on Calista’s arm – a warning telling her to play along. As much as she’d enjoy a verbal sparring with the Yaxley boy, she didn’t want to risk any trouble being caused or powerful families offended. “As riveting as your conversation seemed, would you mind terribly if I stole Calista from you? I’m afraid she and I have places to be.” Places that don’t involve sleazy men.
If Calista could’ve pouted, she would have. Amelie was always the more sensible one, and while that might have made her objectively more boring, Calista did not think so. Merlin knew someone needed to think straight for the two of them, and if there was someone who could keep Calista in check---somewhat---it would be her best friend.
But Calista always did love to cause a scene.
It was a shame she’d be listening to Amelie tonight, the wine glass still safely held between her fingers. “Doesn’t it? I’ve always fancied the name Nate, really.” She smiled sweetly, shooting Amelie a look that said exactly what she wanted to say in a matter of seconds. I’m going to play nice. Look! I’m so playing nice. I complimented him, even. “He won’t mind at all. Right, Yaxley? We both understand we’re both very busy people. I think Persephone would just love to talk to you, anyway. You’ve seen her already, haven’t you?” Once the boy was successfully distracted, she made her escape with Amelie.
“Salazar, that was too easy. No fun at all. You could’ve at least let me call him a prick.”
A Matter of Perspective (I Still Don’t Get It) • Henry & Daniela
What the hell did she mean by it kind of looked like a penis? It was a penis. The man opened his mouth, ready to point this out, but her next comment bemused him even further. “A very good use of color?” Henry echoed her words, slow and disbelieving, then cast another look at the polka-dotted dick, deciding to give it the benefit of doubt. Nope. Still a polka-dotted dick. He wasn’t seeing whatever she could. (He made a mental note to get more wine per her suggestion. Hopefully their taste in alcohol was more similar.)
“That is an excellent question,” he said, unconsciously taking another sip of the tacky champagne and cringing internally. It felt weird to use a phrase he uttered countless times in the classroom here in an art gallery. “Since I have yet to figure out the answer for that myself… But you know how it is. The things we do for family members.” Adding an overdramatically solemn shake of his head for effect, Henry tipped the glass toward his cousin (who seemed to be engaged in a heated debate with a well-dressed elderly lady) standing a few feet away. “That hipster wannabe right there is my cousin. He thought it would be a good idea to drag me here. Lord knows why.” A pause. “Though I’m pretty sure he just needed my driver’s license and not me.”
There were two cases in which he became more talkative than usual: when he was teaching, and when he was tipsy. He let the kids talk freely in class, allowing random bursts of interruptions, and gave equally long replies to their questions as well. The frequent use of language, he firmly believed, was an influential factor that contributed greatly to a child’s brain development.
This right now, however, belonged to the latter case. Henry downed the rest of his drink with a shudder in order to shut himself up.
“Well, that was pleasant. I think I’m ready to try the wine now,” he announced, then asked belatedly: “Hey, how about you? Did someone drag—no, did you drag someone here?”
“You don’t believe me,” she replied, knowing she was stating the obvious. Not everyone could understand art, she supposed. Even she didn’t understand some of it---but wasn’t that the point? She didn’t necessarily have to understand it to appreciate it. That was the beauty of it all; logic didn’t need to be apply to art. For all she knew, the message she came up with was completely different from the one the artist intended. It was all perspective.
Though a little explanation never hurt.
She clicked her tongue sympathetically, offering a smile in response to his solemn shake of his head. “God knows I’ve been there more than enough.” Though she passed the words off as a lighthearted remark, they were more true than she’d like to admit. Her heart was too big, and when it came to her family, there wasn’t much she wouldn’t do. Did she spread herself too thin over the years? Abso-fucking-lutely.
“The number of times I’ve seen my heels go missing in the name of family emergencies.” In high school and college, her cousins would often take her clothes and shoes ( sharing is caring ), asking her to do their hair or their nails or their makeup. She was always more than happy to oblige. “Hipster wannabe...” she repeated, turning her head in the direction toward who Henry’d pointed out. “Does look like someone you’d find in a coffee shop with indie music and only six types of coffee on the menu. All over five dollars a cup. No offense.”
Turning her attention back to the man, she raised her eyebrows when she realized he’d downed the rest of the cheap champagne. “I don’t think he’s going to want your driver’s license at all if you’re about go to for the wine, too.” A pause, then a short laugh she couldn’t help but let out. “You know, funny story. I’m the artist of that piece,” she gestured to the artwork he’d just insulted, “right over there.”
“Oh,” uttered Tamsin in surprise upon hearing a female voice pipe up loudly beside her. Was it one of her friends from theater? She couldn’t tell over the booming music. It wouldn’t be unusual of them to intervene like this. You know, you don’t have to be so nice to them, they always chided in tandem with a deep sigh, guiding her away from whatever uncomfortable social situation she found herself in.
Tamsin did appreciate them looking out for her, she really did, but —- frankly, she believed in the goodness of people, and that everyone deserved to be treated with respect until proved to be otherwise. Tolerance and patience was her armor against the world. Some may call her naïve, perhaps, but this was her belief. This was the source of her quiet strength.
However, when she turned to look, the face she saw was none other than that of Yuna. She couldn’t help the small gasp of surprise as the dark-haired girl dumped the entire cup onto the boy’s shirt, offered the most insincere apology she had ever heard, then proceeded to quite literally drag her by the hand. (Did that ACTUALLY happen?) Cheeks heating up at the contact, Tamsin let herself be pulled away, at a total loss as to how to react. What should she do? Go back and apologize to him? No, she should—
“Uhm,” the girl began, her voice coming out more high-pitched than expected. She cleared her throat and smiled, sweet and genuine, still blushing a bit. “I just— you—you really didn’t have to do that. But thank you. Yuna, right?”
Of course she knew this was Yuna; there was no real need for confirmation. The two of them were in the same English class—Creative Writing to be exact, which was one of her absolute favorites this semester. She had first noticed the other girl during a poetry reading session, two gazes meeting briefly as Tamsin recited her original work. (Or maybe they’d noticed each other way before that, but she liked to give cheesy meanings to coincidences.)
Jesus Christ, this girl’s smile bled sunshine.
Not that Yuna particularly minded. Not at all. She found herself wanting to see it a lot more, actually. And as for that thought? Well, she’d deal with that later. Right now, she simply wanted to talk with the pretty girl in her English class, and that was exactly what she was going to do. If anything, Tamsin proved to be interesting, the antithesis of everything Yuna was. Sure, they were both objectively nice, but Tamsin was sweet and soft and sunshine incarnate, while Yuna was sharp and loud and bold. So much packed into a tiny frame, her friends would say.
“That’s true,” Yuna conceded, pausing before leaning closer towards Tamsin, a conspiratorial smile unfurling across her lips and a mischievous gleam dancing in her eyes. “But I wanted to.” Due to the proximity, her voice lowered in volume before she pulled back, realizing her hand was still in Tamsin’s. Shit. Tugging her hand away, she leaned back against the wall, looking curiously over at Tamsin. “Yuna, yeah, that’s me!” She grinned. “And you’re Tamsin?”
As if she didn’t know that already.
“Oh, by the way, what got you to come here, anyway?” she asked conversationally. There. That was a safe-ish topic. That could start a conversation, could possibly somehow end up getting her number by the end of the night. “You don’t really seem like the type to party---not that’s a bad thing, but you know. Just curious.”
This was a common occurrence. Yuna would pick someone cute, chat them up, and then drop them a week later. Hell, two days later, or even the day after. It was fun, she said to them, no hard feelings! But Tamsin was far too nice to do that to, and besides, maybe she could snag a study session with the other girl. God knew Yuna actually needed help in English.
@insxuciiance
Had this been any ordinary night, Tamsin would have been content to curl up under a blanket with some chillwave playing, pages of Richard Siken’s Crush turning under delicate fingertips. As it was, however, she stood awkwardly in a corner of the crowded room, clad in a tank top tucked into a skirt with loud floral patterns. It was one of her favorite go-to outfits, but the stench of sweat and alcohol and weed smoke was seeping into it, she noted with regret. Still, she wasn’t mad; rarely was she ever. It was going to take a lot more than the typical smell of a college party to make her remotely close to angry.
Similarly, it was going to take a lot more than a drunk fuckboy to make her angry. Despite Tamsin’s repeated rejections, the guy was coming on too strong, greedy eyes roaming over her body as if she were a piece of steak. It was… not a nice feeling. Yet, she smiled (albeit a very tight one), and opened her mouth again to inform him that the compliment was appreciated but no, she wasn’t interested.
“—and PLEASE don’t ever call me ‘baby’ again,” she added, soft-spoken but stern. This was why Tamsin never went to parties. She’d better tell Theo never to drag her to these things. People-watching was enjoyable; it was the people watching her part that she wasn’t overly excited for.
It wasn’t out of the ordinary to see Yuna at a party---in fact, it was a weekly, if not almost every week, thing. She was never out of place in the midst of anything that required socializing; she thrived, she bloomed, she shined. She wore winning smiles and cheeks flushed with the buzz of alcohol well, and while parties tended to get old sometimes, she still couldn’t bring herself to stop going. Work hard, play hard, right? Everyone had their ways of unwinding; hers just happened to be of the hedonistic variety. Ducking from underneath the arm of her much taller friend ( even with the heeled booties she was wearing ), she laughed at something he said as she adjusted her black top, which she’d paired with her favorite skinny jeans.
If there was one constant Yuna held both sober and drunk, it was her zero-bullshit-policy. So when she saw some fuckboy aggressively hitting on Tamsin, Yuna decided to swoop in and save the poor girl. A very pretty poor girl who was in her English class and seemed to know a lot more than she did, but that was probably because she actually bothered to pay attention. Maybe she’d ask Tamsin for help one day. Though, if she’d been correct, it didn’t seem like Tamsin needed her help. Yuna just wanted the satisfaction of telling off the frat boy.
Yuna edged her way out of the kitchen and towards the pair. “You heard her,” she added loudly once she arrived, slender arms folded across her chest. “Except you don’t even deserve a please, asshole.” The guy sputtered, glaring at the petite girl.
“Who the fuck----”
Before he could finish his sentence, Yuna had grabbed a half-full cup of beer someone left behind. Tossing the contents onto his shirt, she only chirped a half-assed sorry! as she grabbed Tamsin’s hand and wove her way back through the crowd.
heybiblee
When in doubt, look for the largest commotion. That was Amelie Rosier’s default method of finding her best friend at these fancy events. When you put someone with as little patience as Calista in a room full of sleazy purebloods neither of them liked, trouble was bound to happen. Spying Calista looking thoroughly irritated with the man before her, Amelie hurried to her side to (hopefully ) prevent Calista from throwing her wine in his face.
“Calista!” she said smoothly, linking her arm with that of her best friends’ as a subtle way of telling herr don’t you dare throw that wine. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Who’s your friend?”
Fancy pureblood events only had a few highlights, which included but were not limited to: gorgeous dresses, excellent wine, and the priceless look on the absolute arse of a boy that decided to cross her that night. He just kept talking and talking and talking, and her snark paired with a sharp smile still hadn’t been enough for him to fuck off. The way his eyes roamed over her figure was not welcome in the slightest, either; it took all of her self-control not to throw her wine in his face.
She still might have done that if Amelie’s arm hadn’t linked with hers, and she gave her best friend an innocent glance ( why would I ever do such a thing? ). “You know me, I’m always all over the place,” she replied airily, bringing the glass to her lips. “Oh, this is Nathaniel Yaxley. Apparently, he likes to be called Nate. Right, Nate?” She smiled sweetly, knowing the nickname grated on the boy.
BET ON ME / MOISES & LISETTE @amaranthine-d
The city was coming together in lieu of the Christmas season. Halloween had come and gone, as with the decorations that scared and frightened; and now, the city was instead filled with bright lights, glorious wonder. It was a beautiful sight to see, and a great reminder of Moises’ second home as how he liked to remember it: with great big lights, with children running from street to street and singing, with presents and presents and presents at every corner. The streets of Boston during Christmastime were nothing compared to that of the Philippines’, but they were as close as Moises could get at the moment. This was as close to the feeling, as close to home, as close to belonging somewhere other than here, as he could get.
His friends did not understand this meaning of home — of being torn and belonging to two countries instead of one, and yet belonging to none at all —, and they did not come with the memories of Moises’ childhood on Manila streets, barefooted and dirty and happy. They did not see things like he did when it came to these; they did not appreciate the lights as much as he did. But little did Moises mind. As he sat with a group of his friends from the Aeviternity in a bar that they frequented, it almost felt as though he had a little secret with the lights that surrounded them, and the lights out there in the streets. It almost felt as though he were experiencing something greater than his friends were, as they did not carry the same joy of Christmastime — the proximity of it — in their hearts.
Still, their laughter was whole, merry. Work was over, and the night was young; Christmas was near, as were Christmas bonuses, and the drinks and the women that came with these. Everything was right in the world — and, even if they weren’t, a few drinks and a good lay would help ease the problem. Take Kevin Jones here, for example, who had marital issues but was not willing to let that weigh him down as he chugged and chugged and chugged drink after drink after drink. If anything, his laughter was the loudest among the group; he needed to laugh, or so his head would explode.
As the night went on, so did the laughter and the conversation. Drinks were ordered, words were said, and one particular woman stood out among the rest.
Moises hadn’t immediately noticed her to begin with; this was the truth. The city lights had engulfed him so, and then the conversation had him locked down that he had not had the time to gaze elsewhere. It was only when his friends had mentioned her, and how she had been sitting on the bar by herself the entire time since she’d arrived, that Moises noticed. And, indeed, he noticed. She was a pretty thing, from what he could see; but sad, too, as what Moises could notice. Though he could only see a portion of her face, it was obvious that the frown she wore had been stapled there since the beginning. Had she been with someone else, maybe Moises would not have taken such intent notice of these things even at an inebriated state.
But she was alone, and sometimes, men were men who noticed.
Moises’ friends took notice too, and soon bets were going around as to which one of them could make her frown disappear, take her home, and be done with it. Their voices were hushed now, quiet; men were as men were sometimes, and they just didn’t make sense. It was worse when they were drunk, worse when they’d had more than their fair share of drinks, as they blurted out things they would later regret but at the moment live up to.
It was at one point that Moises said, “Bet I can make her fall in love with me, too.” To this, his friends hooted and cheered, patted him on the back, and watched him as he approached the woman with the frown.
The strings of lights and glossy ornaments only served as annoyances for Lisette, though she would never voice these opinions. Perhaps her tongue was sharp--too sharp---but she would not deprive others of holiday cheer when the world was so goddamn awful most of the time. They were lucky that Christmas had not been tainted by family reunions and being shuttled to the side, of being ignored in favor of her stepsiblings, of going through the motions but never really celebrating.
She had gotten gifts when she was little, small things that her mother could afford with her paycheck, but these started to dwindle as she grew older and her mother grew more fearful. Was she not deserving of such presents? And when her mother remarried, Christmas suddenly became gaudier, a show, full of melodious laughter and perfectly poised smiles. When her stepfather was a rich man in Chicago with a high position in the Aeverternity, he could afford to hold such gatherings. She rarely talked to her new set of relatives, who looked at her with disdain and snide laughter, to which she replied with her sword of a tongue.
And then there were the spirits. They asked for so many things during the holidays, for wishes to be sent to families, for this one last request wouldn’t you please? And Lisette would have none of it---not for a price, at least. She was not fucking Santa Claus or a wish-granter---she was just a girl trying to get through college with countless ghosts bombarding her every waking thought. Even now, she couldn’t escape the spirit hanging around her at the bar, perched on the empty bar stool next to her. Lisette simply ignored her, paying more attention to the rum in her glass. Alcohol was never a good idea, but when she was lonely ( though she would never admit it ) and bored and tired of hearing Jingle Bells for the last fucking time, it seemed like a brilliant one.
She had no friends to meet up with, either. What little friends she made had either gone home for the holidays or had previous obligations, and there was no way in hell she was going back to Chicago. There was no one left for her there, no high school friends to swap stories with, no cheery relatives to greet with open arms. All that was left was a haunted city with haunted memories. So what if she was burning bridges? She never intended to build them in the first place.
She noticed the raucous group of men far before they noticed her, and she noticed their eyes on her the moment they pointed to her with a poor attempt at subtlety. She noticed when their voices grew quieter, she noticed when one of the men stood up with some sort of declaration worthy of an asshole, and though she noticed, she made no indication she did. Why should she acknowledge any of them? They probably thought she was sad. That she needed company.
To this, she would only laugh. What a load of bullshit.
She just wanted to be alone, but men never seemed to get the message.
Forced to acknowledge the one walking towards her, she fixed him with an unimpressed, level gaze. Had she been sober, she would have paid her tab and left by now, but she had two shots of rum coursing through her system and he was to be the target of the attitude that got her called a bitch. “Whatever you want, the answer is already no.”
A Matter of Perspective (I Still Don’t Get It) • Henry & Daniela
The man didn’t flinch in surprise when an unfamiliar voice of a female spoke up. Instead, he took another sip of his crappy champagne to compose himself before answering, pursing his lips at the offensive taste. Honestly, he would have been more than content with a bottle of Budweiser. Ugh. What else did they have here? Wine? He would have better luck with that, perhaps.
“Oh, I adore coming here, what gave you that idea?” he retorted, frowning and raising both hands at the woman, jokingly overdramatic. “This is precisely how I prefer to spend my weekends, you know. Drinking mediocre champagne and looking at pointless drawings of tiny birds fornicating… and over there, the polka-dotted sculpture that looks suspiciously like a penis? Simply exquisite.“
It wasn’t that he diminished or disregarded the value of art. Art may not be practical, but it was not useless. Michelangelo, Monet, Da Vinci, Van Gogh—they were grand masters of art, born with creativity and talent ahead of their time in their bones. Henry knew this. Henry knew this, but only to a certain extent; Henry knew this only because he had learned such. Art never offered him any inspiration, reverence, or awe. He could appreciate things like the use of colors or proportions or how realistically the work portrayed the real world—yet these were all technical aspects. He couldn’t even begin to fathom how sentimental pleasure could be derived from art. Did people actually discover profound, mind-blowing meaning in it? To stumble upon brilliant epiphanies about the essence of life or whatever just by looking at a painting on the wall—oh, how efficient and convenient that would be. Except such revelations didn’t happen. (Never to him, at least.)
“This,” repeated Henry, gesturing vaguely at the painting before him, the people engrossed in artsy-fartsy chatters around them, the dick sculpture covered in little blue dots—everything. “No offense, but this is some real top-notch bullshit.”
Whether she actually found the man’s snark funny or whether she laughed because of the champagne she had just drank was coursing through her system remained to be seen. Perhaps it was a bit of both, but she still laughed, bubbly like the liquor filled halfway in her glass.
“Your enthusiasm is just overwhelming,” quipped Daniela in return. “You’ll have a better shot with the wine, by the way. And I guess it does kind of look like a penis,” she admitted, turning her gaze towards the sculpture he’d commented on. “The polka dots might be a bit much, but it makes a very good use of color. Lots of it.”
Art, she supposed, was a subjective matter. It was an extension of the artist; their soul, their passion, sometimes, their everything, was poured into their work. But the art world was a harsh one, as she had learned as a wide-eyed freshman in art school. People were quick to pick at her drawings and paintings, rip them apart with just words; everything could be improved. There was always something to fix. This shading was not emphasized enough, this form could have been drawn better---everything was a learning curve. Everything was working towards a career as an illustrator, a storyboard artist, a freelance artist whose works could be seen in galleries like the one she was in now. What the hell was she hoping to achieve, anyway?
So when the man abruptly called her work bullshit, she took it in stride. He clearly didn’t know a thing about art, he was probably at least tipsy, and there would inevitably be the moment he’d find out he was talking to the artist herself. “None taken.” She smiled, an eyebrow arching in curiosity. “If you don’t even want to be here, why are you here? Did someone drag you?”
I want to love, but my hair smells of war and running and running.
Warsan Shire (via weatheredwritings)
… How she’d existed half in this world and half in her own, and how she’d break the rules, it’d be so beautiful to be a part of it that you’d play along, follow her anywhere, just to bask in her glow.
Far From You (Tess Sharpe)