haven’t you loved someone so badly that you wanted to save them? but instead of saving them, you’re sinking with them? that happened with him; he was brilliant, vibrant, you could say that everything he did was red. i was a normal girl, people considered me pretty, but i wasn’t considered that way. he looked at me that day and i knew that i had to be with him. he had this thing of pulling people towards them, like a spider pulls insects to its web.
then, chaos happened. his father figured died and instead of overcoming it he summed into a vortex of depression. a dark hole that he wouldn’t come out. so, i sunk with him to save him, to make him feel that he wasn’t alone.
the next thing flowed as easy as the spring breeze, he became more solitary, wanting to leave the city as much as possible, sometimes in imaginary trips that made him feel for a minute or two that he was back to himself, and that he was happy. i went with him most of the time, that’s when i met the brilliant guy i fell for back in the happy high school days.
after his happiness he became more violent, most of the time he hit himself, trying to punish for the things he said he didn’t do. i was there, waiting patiently until he recovered his breath, until he recovered the pieces he had left of the life that wasn’t his anymore. i cured his bruises more like a loving mother, and kissed them as the lover i thought i was to him.
i loved him still, when he was happy i was happy, we laughed, we played, and we became one. when he wasn’t dope he hugged me, he kissed me, he took me to places that i never knew, and made me feel that maybe soon enough he would be okay, that we would be together and this rough patch would be just that, a bump in the road.
but then, he became blue and gray, and i felt more and more alone and scared of him. i realized i couldn’t save him unless he wanted to save himself so, as my heart broke, i left him, because he didn’t knew how to pull himself out of the hole. i prayed to whoever could hear me that he could become the man i wished he became when we weren’t like this.
i prayed for him because i couldn’t be his miracle.
au where peter parker can’t overcome the guilt of causing uncle ben’s death, and he sums in depression; gwen tries her best to save him.
inspiration colors (stripped) by halsey.
kianamaiart
baratheonpilled
gummygunk
germansingergirl
kaledo-art
stormborns
prguitarman
izzy806
