heartbeat in the brain

i quake at the knees as my intentions unfurl • trish • (she/her) • 29 • 🏳️‍🌈 • rat mama • ao3: heartswells

[lifeinpoetry]

                              Tell me what I can take

                              away from this forgetting, why I overlook my body, latching                      onto the blues the nighttime makes, 

how I avoid the light, my past,                                   and disappear into the grass.

— Stephanie Rogers, from “Fat Girl Trilonnet,” Fat Girl Forms

[boyhood]

Lizz Hamilton

he would return to find heaven bereft of angels and smoldering 

Squid ink, starling, habotai silk 

2021

Pictured here while it was drying, not in its final form 

lizzhamilton.com / instagram.com/lizzhamilton

[rotgospels]

“your hunger hurts you awake. The sin is not the wanting, it’s the wanting more.”

— Traci Brimhall, from “Chthonic Lullaby”, Come the Slumberless to the Land of Nod (via voirlvmer)

[kuutamosonaatti]

Lola Créton in Barbe Bleue / Bluebeard (2009)

[m-haitch]

“I wish that I could leave myself alone. I wish that I could finally feel that I punished myself enough.”

— Carrie Fisher, The Princess Diarist

[euritsua]

[cultnervous-deactivated20230607]

how to stop walking on my knees a hundred miles through the desert repenting and let the soft animal of my body love what it loves

[artist-robert-rauschenberg]

Peanuts from Crops Suite, Robert Rauschenberg, 1973, MoMA: Drawings and Prints

Gift of Gordon and Llura Gund Size: sheet: 60 × 38" (152.4 × 96.5 cm) Medium: Screenprint and solvent transfer

http://www.moma.org/collection/works/65734

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Don't get sucked into the "if they really cared I wouldn't have to say something" spiral. No matter how close you are with someone, it's unfair to expect them to know things you haven't actually communicated.

[backroadshoney]

[nekozalenky]

“Some animals show mercy by devouring their lovers. O Lord, honeyed by fireflies, blood drips from your chin & I know it is my own.”

— I.S. Jones, “Nocturne” in The Rumpus

[art-creature]

clouds / fineliner in sketchbook, Fall 2020 / my instagram

[semifinaldestination-deactivate]

I can’t believe a bunch of men were like “actually, women have it easier when it comes to mental health because everyone already assumes you are weak, irrational, crazy, and stupid 🥺” and a significant amount of feminists were like oh shit good point

[sixv-blog]

Christiane F. - Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo.

[soracities]

“I beg you, eat me up. Want me down to the marrow.”

— Hélène Cixous, from “The Love of the Wolf”

[boyhood]

Lapis and jackdaw on silk in the studio today 

lizzhamilton.com / @lizzhamilton

[jb-blunk]

at some point your need to be understood becomes pathetic you are not the main character in a book who can present a neat narrative of your behavior to everyone you meet and know you don’t need to offer excuses and explanations to everyone you know you don’t owe them that you can just be and they don’t all owe you that much time and energy to consume and remember that whole narrative either. I do think this is why social media becomes additive bc it’s taps into the desire to be seen and understood but it’s not going to work like you can lay it out so perfectly and someone will still be like tl;dr and I hate your stupid face and then you’ll just feel even more rejected