come and keep your comrade warm

Five BBCRH Things We Can’t Stop Talking About, and One We’d Really, Really Rather Not Ever Have Mentioned

You Knew This Was Coming

Okay. Okay, dear tumblr user, if I’m going to do this post, I’m going to need a drink [and someone to pay for said drink -Nell]. Hang on.

pictured: @nettlestonenell, left, and the author, right

Okay. Proceed.

There’s a lot to love about this show; the fact that we’re doing this day, thirteen years later, proves that the fans never shut up about it. But there are also things that we don’t talk about, things we deny ever happened, things that are, for whatever reason, collectively retconned. Whether it’s bad writing, or poor decisions, or a good story choice that just bums us out will always be up for debate. But what’s not up for debate is that they are incredibly angsty.

And we all know how Tumblr loves angst.

[visual representation of the above condition. - Nell]

So hey, maybe this is the thing that’ll spur you to watch it. Maybe you’ve already watched it (in which case, WHY AM I STILL WRITING THESE) and we can all remember and grieve together; a sort of collective catharsis. But let’s take this moment, on the day we remember the outlaws, to remember the ones we lost along the way.

Here be so many, many spoilers. Cue the music.

Keep reading

“Five BBCRH Things We Can’t Stop Talking About, and One We’d Really, Really Rather Not Ever Have Mentioned”

You May Now Sucker Punch The Groom

Happy My Gang To Me Day 2019! The world is going to shit and life is a confusing maelstrom, but you know what’s great? Robin Hood exists. Have you watched it yet, dear tumblr user? No? Fine. You know what? Fine. That’s fine. I’ve given you the best years of my life, trying to persuade you for your own good, but that’s absolutely fine, you have your own way. I’m not upset, no, I’m not sulking, YOU’RE SULKING, I’m going to the pub.

I want to tell you about one of the greatest moments in the show; nay, in the very history of television. I’m not exaggerating. It comes in the last episode of the first series, S01E13: A Clue: No, and it is pure comedy gold. But before we get to that, we need to break this down a little.

pictured here: not a visual metaphor

One of the main themes throughout the series is the love triangle between Robin Hood (loves Marian), Marian of Knighton (loves Robin and is really pissed off about it), and Guy of Gisborne (loves Marian, doesn’t love Robin or the words ‘no thanks’).

Expected to accept his proposal now that Robin’s an outlaw, Marian holds Guy’s advances at bay throughout the first series by saying that she will marry him when King Richard comes home, which I’m sure will in no way come back to bite her in the butt, right?

pictured: RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING

So, King Richard’s returning and Guy assumes that this means wedding bells for him and the future Mrs Of Gisborne - somewhat understandably, given that she literally promised it five episodes ago - and is super stoked to do the deed and have little greasy leather-clad babies and whatever else it is that Guy imagines married people do, he hasn’t had great role models in this field, let’s not think about it for too long.

But Marian - somewhat understandably, given that Guy’s track record with women so far has involved getting them pregnant and leaving their babies to die or stealing their family heirlooms by force - is less keen on the idea, and there’s a lot of fretting about how she’s going to get out of this one, because I guess even if King Richard does come home he can’t undo a marriage to a traitor? I’m being flippant; I’d sell my soul for twenty minutes in a cupboard with Richard Armitage and even I wouldn’t want to marry Guy*.

pictured: DING DONG THE BELLS ARE GONNA CHIIIIIIIME

[backing up a little (from the images–we’re not to the wedding, yet)] During the engagement, Robin and the gang show up to rescue Marian, but it all goes rather tragically wrong when Guy manages to stab his beloved in the stomach**. I’m sure we’ve all been there. Robin takes Marian to hide in a cave, and they have a genuinely heartbreaking scene where she breaks a fever and they struggle to confess their love and then she dies before he can tell her his true feelings.

pictured: USE YOUR WORDS, ROBIN, YOU NINCOMPOOP

BUT NOT FOR LONG! </bob hale>

Don’t worry, she’s not dead really and the writers would never do that to us. Unfortunately, the downside of being alive is that she still has to marry Guy. Swings and roundabouts. And - horror of horrors - we discover that the person coming is not the king, but an imposter hired by the Sheriff!

I won’t go into how the plot unfolds, because that would defeat the point of this exercise, which, in case you’ve forgotten is TO GET YOU TO WATCH ROBIN HOOD. But I want you to know just how high the stakes are - how much has been building up to this wedding. Marian is a brilliant, brave, remarkable woman, and she is being forced to marry to save her father’s life.

So, here we are, at the altar, on the Gisborne / Knighton wedding day. Robin is despairing. The Sheriff is committing mass nobleicide. And Marian discovers, in front of the priest and congregation, that Guy has lied about the king coming home.

And she punches him in the goddamn face.

But it’s not just a punch. I would hate for you think that it’s just a punch. You see, as I have said multiple times before, Guy has spent the past thirteen episodes being deliciously, overwhelmingly nasty. He bullies children and old ladies. He probably kicks puppies. We are all with Marian in this punch. It is a punch for all of us, for in this moment, we are all Robin Hood Marian of Knighton.

And now, I think you should watch it. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Marian and Guy are at the altar. Marian is being forced to marry Guy to save her father, and has just denied Robin in front of them all.

GUY: Wise decision. (smiling) In time, you will thank me.

Marian takes the ring from her left hand and puts it on her right.

PRIEST: (mansplaining) The left hand! The ring must go on the left hand!

MARIAN: No, no, the right is better.

Marian rips off her veil and punches Guy in the face.

ROBIN: (dashing as hell) Do you take this man and this horse as your way out of here?

MARIAN: (inexplicably fond of her pet idiot) I do!

Watch Robin Hood. You’re welcome.

* the author in no way intends to besmirch the many thousands of fans who do want to marry guy, shine on you crazy diamonds

** FORESHADOWING, innit

*** bitter laughter

Five BBCRH Things We Can’t Stop Talking About, and One We’d Really, Really Rather Not Ever Have Mentioned

Liar, Liar… Tattoo on Fire?

In many ways, Robin Hood is an ideal show for me, because it combines found family with a sort of procedural caper-of-the-week thing which is absolutely catnip to me, and explains why I watch a lot of very bad crime shows. There are certain things that you can be sure will happen in each episode; there’ll be some theft in the woods, Marian will do a badass stunt, Djaq will do science, and Will will invent something anachronistic, one of the gang will have a personal connection to this week’s supporting characters, and Guy and the Sheriff’s dreadful scheme will take a very long time to be discovered and will then be foiled in a hilarious way.

And such it is with SE01E08, Tattoo? What Tattoo?

pictured: what is this even meant to represent, m8, medieval batman?

In this episode, we discover that during Robin’s time in the Holy Land he witnessed - and foiled - an assassination attempt on King Richard by a man with a strange tattoo on his arm. The assassin escaped, and Robin has been plagued by nightmares ever since, although those may be more due to the TERRIBLE WAR he was engaged in at the time.

By an alarming coincidence, somebody in the regular cast has exactly the same tattoo.

pictured: I know, I’m as shocked as you are

And - get this, right - Gisborne was the one sent to kill the King? Which, as it foils my theory of an evil network of assassins with matching ink, somewhat begs the question of a) why he has the tattoo b) where he got the tattoo c) seriously, what is it meant to represent and d) HOW DID HE NOT THINK TO GET IT COVERED UP AT ANY POINT IN THE LAST TEN YEARS WHEN HE KNOWS ROBIN SAW IT? ROBIN DIDN’T SEE HIM BUT HE VERY MUCH SAW ROBIN. IDIOCY, THY NAME IS ‘OF GISBORNE’.

Hijinks ensure, and by hijinks, I mean Robin tries to murder Gisborne in cold blood and the gang have to patiently remind him about such irrelevant things as ‘fair trials’ and ‘morality’ and ‘killing we do not like’, and he is Not Impressed with this. It’s quite thrilling, really, seeing such great minds as Allan ‘I’m Good With Nuns’ A Dale and Much ‘Jigger Off’ the Miller’s Son explaining to their leader that tying a man to a tree and beating the crap out of him isn’t really cricket.

pictured: but what if I only murder him a little bit?

Things come to a head when the gang take Gisborne to a secret location to trade him for Djaq, who has been captured by the Sheriff. Honestly, she already managed to melt the bars of her cell with acid by herself, so she probably had it handled, but it’s nice that they cared. Robin informs them that Guy is only temporarily reprieved, as the King will be informed of his treachery as soon as the King returns.

And the Sheriff - often a bumbling idiot, but occasionally very distressingly clever indeed - does something coldblooded, barbaric, and absolutely hilarious, and I’ve found a link for you below.

ROBIN: There is no way Gisborne went to the Holy Land without your say-so.

SHERIFF: (feigning ignorance) Holy Land? Gisborne?

ROBIN: I have proof. On his arm. His tattoo. People in the King’s Guard know about that tattoo, and when they return, he will pay. And you will pay.

SHERIFF: (innocently) Tattoo?

The Sheriff yanks Guy’s arm up, rolls up his shirtsleeve, and calmly pours acid all over it, blistering the skin and destroying the ink. Guy screams.

SHERIFF: What tattoo? (to Guy, over his screams) Oh, shut up, you big jester!

Robin is not pleased, but then, neither is Guy, who is writhing on the ground clutching at what remains of his forearm. And both teams sneak off to fight another day.

pictured: will scarlet embracing his new life as a rocket ship

And that’s really what I love about this show, and what I never stop talking about. Every episode, somebody’s plan is foiled, and every episode we live to fight again (with some significant exceptions that we Don’t Talk About). The bad guys are properly, nastily, old-school baddies that you can actually hate, and the good guys are complex enough to be interesting and noble enough to be likeable. No matter what happens, it makes great telly.

And that’s why you should watch Robin Hood. Chop chop.

Everything Richard Armitage Knows He Learned From Robin Hood (And Here’s Why)

richard armitage! ever heard of him?

handsome lad, bit of a toff, sizeable nose, nice arse?

i mean, he’s never really done much in the public eye; he was in a little series of small indie films that you’ve probably never heard of called hobbits (or something); and then there was that show about cannibals, who even watched that thing? sounds weird. and of course he’s in a film with some nice ladies at the moment, something to do with gambling, ocean’s 8? some sort of low-budget gambling psa? it’s nice to know he’s doing his bit. anyway. the point is.

… what is the point?

OH RIGHT. THE POINT IS THAT IF YOU HAVE EVER SEEN RICHARD ARMITAGE IN SOMETHING AND THOUGHT ‘OH CRUMBS, THAT BLOKE LOOKS QUITE NICE RIDING THAT HORSE / TAKING HIS SHIRT OFF / BROODING MANFULLY / GLOWERING AT HIS ENEMIES / WIELDING THAT SWORD / REPRESSING THAT ANGST / KISSING THAT WOMAN, I’M QUITE ENJOYING THIS ACTUALLY, MAYBE I’LL WATCH SOME MORE’

I CAN SCIENTIFICALLY GUARANTEE THAT THERE IS A 1000% PERCENT CHANCE THAT HE ALSO DOES IT IN - WAIT FOR IT - THE BBC’S TELEVISUAL SENSATION, ‘ROBIN HOOD’

AND I AM HERE TODAY TO PRESENT YOU WITH EMPIRICAL, PERFECTLY FACTCHECKED PROOF OF THAT VERY FACT, PROOF WHICH I DID VERY SERIOUS RESEARCH FOR, AND WHICH I WILL NOW SHARE WITH YOU, OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART

AND ALSO BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO GO WATCH ROBIN HOOD.

GOOD? GOOD.

WATCH ROBIN HOOD. THEN I WON’T HAVE TO DO THESE ANY MORE.

RICHARD ARMITAGE’S SKILL LIST, AND HOW HE LEARNED TO DO IT

POWERFUL BROODING

what do thorin, john thornton, and john proctor have in common? TRICK QUESTION, IT’S NOT THEIR DEEP AND SOULFUL BARITONE, IT’S THEIR DEEP AND PAINFUL SEA OF ~FEEEEELINGS

pictured here: guy (right) and horse (left), both repressing their emotions

AND NOBODY DOES FEELINGS QUITE LIKE GUY OF GISBORNE

To be fair to the man, he’s got a lot of baggage:

his father was banished to a leper colony and he grew up in shame

his mother turned out to be sleeping with his rival’s father

both his parents died in a horrible fire that he feels vaguely responsible for

his long lost sister turns out to a) have Significant Baggage of her own and b) be a Homicidal Maniac

the woman he loves is in love with his rival

the one time he meets someone who actually sees some good in him, she dies horribly and in pain

the other time that happens, he accidentally* kills her in a jealous rage

his best friend (?) / employee (who he has some… strange… bisexual feelings for) betrays him by going BACK to work for his rival

all of this leads to some GOOD GOOD BACK-SMOULDERING**

pictured here: angst angst angst ANGST

*ymmv

**i will never tire of this quote, you hear me, NEVER

CUTE ANIMALS

pictured here: spot the majestic™ difference

they say you should never work with children or animals! but in robin hood, richard armitage does both of those things, although - i will be honest with you here - mostly with animals, and those animals are mainly horses.

can i prove that those heady days filming in hungary taught richard a lifelong love of horses, which in turn prepared him for his star turns in the hobbit and pilgrimage? can i prove that the scene in which he sets a lion loose in sherwood forest was a direct inspiration for francis dolarhyde cuddling up to a tiger? no, i can’t, but you can’t prove they weren’t and that’s good enough for any of us.

pictured here: richard watching a woman stroke a large pussy. i don’t know what’s happening here, fannibals, and frankly, i’m not sure i want to.

COMEDY

in the vicar of dibley, richard plays the straight man to a very diminutive, very hammy, very melodramatic, very passionate co-star.

pictured here: totes adorbz

GUESS WHERE HE LEARNED TO DO THAT?

DID YOU GUESS ROBIN HOOD? IF NOT, I’M NOT SURE YOU’VE GRASPED WHAT I’M DOING HERE.

pictured here: slightly less adorbz

CASUAL NUDITY

pictured here: i’m three for three on using this picture in my mg2m posts and i don’t intend to stop now

in my meticulous research for this post, i’ve turned up the following transcript of a 100% real conversation between bryan fuller and richard, it’s completely genuine and real so don’t both looking for a source because it’s so real you’ll only embarass yourself okay good

BF: Richard, heyyyy!! Have a flower crown! Are you excited to be in Hannibal? RA: I’ve Already Started Tattooing Myself With Dragons And Eating The Works Of William Blake As An Aperitif. BF: That would disturb most people, honestly, but I’m Bryan Fuller so I probably think that’s kind of neat and kooky. RA: The Paper Is A Little Sharp But The Paint Gives It A Pleasant Tang BF: Hahahah! RA: Ha. BF: But listen. We’ve got a lot of nudity in the upcoming season, and I just wanted to check you were okay with lovingly shot lingering closeups of your naked chest? RA: … BF: And also we’ll probably do some shots of you working out what you’re going to wear to go about your great quest, probably shirtless? RA: … BF: And if you could be brooding on your issues while you’re naked, that would be great? RA: Bryan, I Was Born To Play This Role

pictured here: Bryan, Have You Ever Heard Of A Little Show Called ‘Robin Hood’?

FURTHER PROOF

in robin hood, guy thinks it’s a good idea to seal himself inside a suit of armour and gets accidentally set on fire.

in the battle of the five armies, thorin thinks it’s a good idea to seal himself inside a mountain, and gets attacked by a dragon.

coincidence? a clue: no.

in spooks, lucas north uses a gun. in robin hood, they use arrows.

arrows were a precursor to bullets.

DO I NEED TO SPELL THIS OUT FOR YOU.

ocean’s 8 is a heist movie; it’s a little known fact that every single heist movie ever created is actually an homage to robin hood s02 eo2: the booby and the beast

pictured here: you gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em

guy is a deliciously evil bad guy who works for a charismatic(?) leader who wants to rule the world (or at least nottingham) and is foiled by handsome men, at least one of whom is wielding a shield, and he routinely threatens children to get his own way!

unrelatedly, here’s heinz kruger, a hydra spy from captain america: the first avenger!

pictured here: ugh what a beautiful scumbag

guy of gisborne has a lovable but often useless lackey called allan a dale, whose defining characteristics include being cute, wishing he was better at stuff than he is, wanting to be taken seriously by his leaders, and having a really big nose.

this is kili.

mahal bless him, he tries.

pictured here: i’m not bein’ funny right but i think i’m getting deja vu

you may be aware that the crucible, in which richard played john proctor, is about the salem witch trials. robin hood s02 eo2: ducking and diving is about the locksley witch trials! it’s so nice he was able to put this experience to good use.

it is a well known fact that richard armitage got his role in north and south solely because of his ability to look good wearing black, something he learned in robin hood.

the fact that robin hood was filmed three years after north and south is unrelated at best and i’m frankly embarrassed on your behalf that you brought it up

nobody likes a derailer, karen

richard armitage did the narration for the great sperm race and you know how he learned all those facts about conception? by fathering an illadvised and accidental child in robin hood s01e04: parent hood! everyone thought it was weird how seriously he took it at the time, but WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?

to conclude: i have spent far too much of my life on this essay. i hope that you, my esteemed tumblr user, will agree with me that whatever richard armitage is (a Nightmare In Dad Jeans), he got there from his much-beloved, much-maligned role in robin hood -

- and that, in the spirit of the day - what day? ROBIN HOOD APPRECIATION DAY! HAVE YOU SOMEHOW MISSED WHAT WE’RE DOING HERE? I’VE BEEN NOTHING BUT FRANK WITH YOU -

- you should probably honour his sacrifice, and go and watch some robin hood on netflix. it’s what he would want. probably. it’s what i want, anyway. it’s a silly, wonderful show and you’ll love every crazy minute of it. GO WATCH ROBIN HOOD, YOU BUNCH OF FITHY INGRATES. i’ll be here, waiting for you to return, finding more shirtless gifs.

pictured here: i didn’t say which gifs.

who were they then, who are they now: richard armitage

My dearest, dearest tumblr user. We’ve been here before, haven’t we? I’ve tried time and again to persuade you to watch this glorious, bonkers, utterly compelling madhouse of a show, and despite my recommendations of yesteryear, you still haven’t been persuaded.

So I’m going to have to bring out the big nose guns.

HEY! ARE YOU IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING FANDOMS: THE HOBBIT, HANNIBAL, SPOOKS, CAPTAIN AMERICA?

DOES THIS FACE LOOK GOOD TO YOU?

pictured here: god he’s so dashing i hate him so muuhuhuhuch

Ladies, gents, and nonbinary friends, I present to you Richard Crispin Armitage. If you don’t know who he is, you probably haven’t been on Tumblr before.

who he was before?

pictured here: he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity

Back in the hazy, long-gone days of 2006, Richard Armitage already had a more substantial following than a lot of the Robin Hood cast. He’d been around a bit in stage and the small screen; he joined a circus in Budapest, played Macavity in Cats, stood by the side of a pool as eye candy in Cold Feet, gave a career-defining performance as Smug Man At Party in This Year’s Love, and even turned up as an extra in Star Wars.

pictured here: DIDN’T KNOW THAT, DID YOU, EH?

The sudden explosion of Richard into the public consciousness is primarily due to the BBC’s North and South in 2004, in which he played a brooding Northerner who primarily wears black and holds a position of power.

Then he got cast as Guy of Gisborne, a brooding Midlander who solely wears black and holds a position of power.

Typecasting? What’s that?

who was he then?

I’ve talked extensively for previous My Gang To Me days about Guy’s character, and his excellently melodramatic interactions with other characters on the show. He’s the big baddie in a show which needs one; the sneering, scowling foil to Robin’s optimistic heroism. But he’s also generous to a fault, obsessively loving, and full of thwarted ambitions. No other character divides the fandom more - is he a misunderstood good guy or an overindulged crybaby? Are he and Marion meant to be or an abusive relationship? Does he deserve a redemption arc? I DON’T KNOW, I’M NOT THE BOSS OF ROBIN HOOD, STOP ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS.

pictured here: there’s no such thing as too much eyeliner

Two years ago, I wrote the following about Guy, and it holds true:

More often than not we end our hijinks with an exasperated shout of “GISSSSBORRRRRRNE!” echoing through the castle and a shot of Guy slinking off to explain how he got foiled this week… Despite being a handsome devil, he is so deliciously dislikeable in a proper, old-school, tying-people-to-the-railroad tracks kind of way. And I’ll be honest, it’s worth watching the show just for a demonstration of how Armitage is able to smoulder with all parts of his body up to and including his back.

Where the Sheriff revels in his own villainy, Guy never thinks of himself as anything but The Hero Of This Story, and is all the more gloriously villainous for it. It certainly doesn’t hurt that the show is well aware of the fact that Richard looks nice without a shirt on.

pictured here: how many times can i use this screencap before it become gratuitous

Admittedly, my particular preference is for bearded-and-soulful-Armitage (more on that later on) but you know, any Armitage is good Armitage.

richard on guy

The Thing You Probably Know Already About Richard Armitage is that he is a ~method actor, which means that he takes all his roles Very Seriously. He wrote a diary for Thorin. He underwent waterboarding in order to get in character for his role as Lucas North in Spooks. He got extremely into William Blake for Dolarhyde. And, believe it or not, he also got very emotionally attached to Guy.

Today, [Richard] knocks on [series writer Dominic Minghella’s] door with a pencil and pad. Can he ask me some questions about his character? I tell him, truthfully, that I can’t believe he is here - an actor of his talent, sitting on my sofa, talking to me about playing this part. I feel so lucky. Suddenly, I stop myself - do I destroy what little (gamma-male) authority I have by being so candid? I glance at him. My concerns are unfounded. He is blushing.

source: interview in sunday telegraph, october 2006

pictured here: richard cosplaying as 80s investment banking!au guy of gisborne

I can’t even be mad at this point.

His own opinions on Guy are about as complicated as the fandom’s.

“I’m really hoping that when people sit and watch this, when Gisborne is trying to woo Marian they absolutely squirm in their seats and their skin is crawling. That was my main aim with this character, to make people absolutely despise him.”

source: interview on bbc robin hood website, october 2006

“His love for Marian is something which is beginning to unravel him and he’s becoming more human through her. It’s actually surprising him. I don’t think he quite realises what’s happening to him - he’s becoming human throughout the course of the series, I think.”

source: interview on robin hood audiobook, “will you tolerate this?”

who did he become?

pictured here: i’ve never seen spooks so i can’t comment but OOH, DASHING

After Robin Hood, Richard officially became a Household Name when he joined the cast of Spooks as Lucas North, a series regular. Technically he started filming it whilst finishing off Robin Hood, which must have been an experience.

He stayed with Spooks for three years, becoming That Guy Off Spooks With The Face, You Know The One, and also turned his hand to a few other television and film roles over the years.

He warmed the cockles of our collective hearts when he turned up as Dawn French’s love interest and future husband Harry Kennedy in The Vicar of Dibley. Bit of a jump for him, this one, as it’s a handsome and charming accountant, rather than a handsome and charming spy. Still, he rose to the occasion masterfully, and also got to snog Dawn French, so he won on multiple accounts.

In 2011, he turned up as the bespectacled Nazi spy Heinz Kruger in Captain America: The First Avenger. He got to have a secret submarine and run around with tommy guns. One time Chris Evans punched him in the face. It was awesome.

And then Thorin happened.

pictured here: majesty~

I will keep this brief, because if I talk too much about Thorin Oakenshield I’ll burst into tears, but it was the role that changed his life.

“I just think it’s a really amazing opportunity to take a character from a book that I was brought to as a child. My first experience on stage was in a production of The Hobbit at the Alex Theatre in Birmingham, and I played an elf. And Gollum was a papier-mache puppet with a man offstage on a microphone. It’s been in my childhood very prominently, so to come to it as an adult, a middle-aged man, and have another look at it is a brilliant opportunity.“

source: ‘the hobbit’ cast press conference, february 2011

Yes, that’s right, Richard Armitage is a Tolkien nerd. He wore elf ears made from cereal boxes to see the Two Towers in cinemas (he was thirty years old at the time). And in 2012 he first graced our screens as Thorin, the proud and noble long-lost king of Erebor and a significant change of pace for a man who had developed a career as shifty, morally-dubious hired killers.

He developed a reputation on set for being “moody and broody” (his words, not mine), due to all that method acting stuff that kept him fretting about the fate of the dwarven race when everyone else was fretting about lunch, but his performance was hailed as one of the best in the trilogy and - of course - it absolutely transformed his career.

who is he now?

Good question, and really one for Richard himself, or his doctor or his therapist or maybe a priest, but we’ll take a stab at it anyway.

After The Hobbit, Richard took a break from the massive media scrutiny and did what all British actors do when they’re scared, which is be in a play. In his case, the play was The Crucible at the Old Vic (I saw it, it was INCREDIBLE) and it earned him an Olivier nomination.

pictured here: bad timez 4 johnny p

He bounced from that into a couple of movies that you are, on the whole, unlikely to have seen - disaster movie Into The Storm, social drama Urban and the Shed Crew, bizarre fantasy Alice Through The Looking Glass…

But his most iconic role of late has been in Hannibal, as serial-killer-with-a-heart-of-gold-actually-no-wait-he-murders-people Francis Dolarhyde. He joined Hannibal for the last explosive season, and seems to have had a lot of fun killing people and wearing flower crowns and… I don’t know, I don’t go here, I’m doing my best.

pictured here: @nettlestonenell challenged me to fit at least one additional shirtless shot into this post, so here’s naked dolarhyde doing something that’s probably evil

It seems to have gone down well with the fans. And things are only looking up for our boy, who’s filming season two of his spy thriller Berlin Station as we speak. He’s based in London these days - still famously private about his private life, but happy to chat on twitter and instagram - just finished performing in his off-Broadway debut in Mike Bartlett’s Love, Love, Love, earning rave reviews, and he’s got several movies coming up.

my gang, to me!

Have I persuaded you yet that you want to get to know the man who was Guy of Gisborne? Well, you’re in luck - the boy’s been busy. You might see him on the big screen this year in Pilgrimage, or Ocean’s Eight, or Brain on Fire. He’s aging well, like a fine wine, and you only have to poke a toe into his tumblr tag to find that his ‘army’ of fans are as passionate now as they were when Guy first slithered onto our screens, eleven years ago today.

pictured here: then & now

I think he might actually be aging in reverse.

Of course, if you want to see more of Richard, there’s one surefire way to do it - and it’s the reason I made this post. Come along and join the gang in Sherwood, and get to know Guy for yourself! Buy some DVDs, or fire up a stream, and settle down with a couple of glorious episodes of the friendliest, loveliest show in television - BBC Robin Hood.

No matter how famous he gets, to us, he’ll always be Guy. And we wouldn’t have him any other way.

Sorry, guys. We saw him first.

post by @interestinggin / with thanks to richardarmitage.net & richardarmitageonline.com

walkingoutintherain replied to your post:

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY FORGET ABOUT THE BACKRUB SCENE, DARLING

SOME OF US WISH WE COULD BUT IT IS NOT PERMITTED TO US

#the upsettingly bisexual backrub #my gang to me 2026

FOR THE UNINITIATED:

Load video

WARNING: PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THIS IF YOUR THRESHOLD FOR SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT IS LOW, BECAUSE YOU WILL END UP WITH A RED FACE AND YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR EYES MAKING SQUEAKING NOISES.

doing research for my @mygangtome post and found this absolute gem

~scriptwriting, u guys

replaymp4-deactivated20200927

okay but like, reply in the tags what fandom you’ve been in with the best quality of fanfiction

#jeeves and wooster and it's not even close #an orderly queue of one #somehow every single author gets like. physically possessed by the ghost of wodehouse during the writing process. uncanny.#tag meme

bbc rh relationships: meet team castle

Oh, dearest Tumblr user, here we are again. One year to the day since I implored you to watch BBC Robin Hood, citing such compelling arguments as ‘Richard Armitage in leather trousers’ and ‘wacky hijinks involving lions’, and yet still you have not heeded my advice. But worry not, dearest Tumblr user, for I think this year, I’ve got something even more compelling.

Oh yes. It’s PAIRINGS YEAR.

Meet Allan, Marian, Guy and the Sheriff.

I should explain.

Technically, our brief this year [as set down by our most benevolent overlord, @nettlestonenell] was to do some helpful introductions to ‘pairings’ in the show - by which she meant any and all relationships. Technically, my personal brief is to tell you all about the charming animosity, uneasy truce, and eventual friendship between Allan A’Dale, Professional Moron, and Marian of Knighton, Professional Vigilante. But it’s very hard to talk about the two of them without also bringing in the rest of Team Castle, so I’m spreading the love a bit.

IN CANON

Let’s start as we mean to go on, with…

ALLAN N’ MARIAN

pictured here: two goobers, one with a significantly smaller nose

Allan A’Dale is a scoundrel and a rogue with a not-above-average intelligence level or a surprising amount of cunning, depending on who’s writing him that week. Marian of Knighton is the epitome of heroic - self-sacrificing, noble, easily exasperated with people who put themselves first. They shouldn’t work, and yet they do.

In the first season, they have a quiet sort of friendship; Marian, who for years has protected the people of the area as the Nightwatchman, is trying to find her place in a world with Robin back in it, and Allan is adjusting to suddenly caring about other human beings. They don’t interact a huge amount, except for one of my favourite exchanges in the series:

Marian rides up, wearing trousers. Robin stares like a lovestruck fool. There is an air of indefinable romance.

ALLAN A'DALE, NOT BIG ON PICKING UP THE MOOD: Cor, nice legs!

Marian stares at him. Robin stares at him.

ALLAN A'DALE, SENSING SOMETHING MIGHT BE WRONG: I… meant… the horse.

Other than that, and the occasional TEAM-UP TO SAVE THE DAY, they don’t do much together until Season 2, when they officially become one of my favourite friendships in TV.

Through a series of very bad decisions, Allan moves into the castle and starts working for Guy. Marian is still effectively under house arrest, and continues to maintain a secret identity as a superhero and help the gang with their escapades. And Allan, for whom the word selflessness has always been a synonym for stupid, helps her out.

At one point, Marian saves his life. At another, Allan risks it all to save her.

MARIAN: What if it is the King? You know what they’ll do to him when he arrives. ALLAN: It’s not my call, is it? I’m just the whipping boy around here. MARIAN: Look, if you go along with treason, then you are committing treason. ALLAN: Rubbish! If you go along with farting, it doesn’t mean you’ve farted yourself, does it?

To Marian’s eternal credit, she doesn’t punch him for this sentiment. Which is especially impressive, as she’s having to deal with the eternal trial that is…

MARIAN N’ GUY

pictured here: richard armitage smouldering with his back; lucy griffiths having period-accurate-honest-guv curls

If I had a thousand My Gang To Me days I don’t think I could do justice to just how incredibly messed up this pair are. As is traditional, I’m not allowed to offer an opinion on whether they’re meant to be or just the worst, but I don’t think there’s anyone who would deny that they are both hot messes in their own right.

Guy is completely besotted with Marian, while Marian is more concerned with pressing matters like staying alive and how to stop everyone she loves being executed. Over the course of the show, they go through such adventures as: a wedding, swordfights (with each other), swordfights (with other people), dates, unadulterated loathing, crime-based-hijinks, and on one memorable occasion, a nunnery. Sometimes they’re friends, sometimes they’re bitter enemies. They always care about each other -

MARIAN: [to Robin] Maybe the difference between you and [Guy] is not so huge. And isn’t that your thesis? Isn’t that the Robin Hood world view?

ROBIN: What thesis?

MARIAN: That one man is much like another. That the poor are no different from the wealthy and just as deserving. Why can’t you apply your charitable principles to somebody who’s been deprived in a different way? Deprived of love.

- and are generally pretty angry with each other too:

Marian and Guy are at the altar. Marian is being forced to marry Guy to save her father, and has just denied Robin in front of them all.

GUY: Wise decision. (smiling) In time, you will thank me.

Marian takes the ring from her left hand and puts it on her right.

PRIEST: (mansplaining) The left hand! The ring must go on the left hand!

MARIAN: No, the right is better.

Marian rips off her veil and punches Guy in the face.

When Marian ends up living in the castle, Guy is both her chief tormentor and greatest friend. With the help of Allan, he saves her life when they discover she’s the Nightwatchman, even if he does it with less-than-honourable intentions. At the end of the day, there’s no denying that these are two people who mean a lot to each other.

Which is more than can be said for…

GUY N’ THE SHERIFF

pictured here: Pinky and the Brain

Okay, so. You know those two bad guys who’re in everything ever - one’s tall, one’s short; one’s clever, one’s strong; one’s in charge and one’s a henchman? Well, congratulations, you’ve now met Vaisey and Gisborne.

Sheriff Vaisey is manipulative, sadistic, and (usually) very cunning. Guy ranges between the average intelligence of a duck and snarky bad guy, depending on what’s required of him narratively that episode. What’s great about these two, though, is that when they’re on your screen you know you’re going to have a lot of fun.

GUY: You represent everything that’s loathsome in a man!

SHERIFF: I thought that’s why you liked me!

Here is a short list of just some of the insane schemes they have come up with:

releasing a lion (I know, I know, I go on about this a lot, but, you know, an actual lion) into Sherwood Forest to catch Robin Hood

making Allan (who is their employee) and Robin joust over a cauldron of hot tar, because reasons

turning the entire castle into a casino for a week to try and rob a German count

digging a pit in the war room and filling it with snakes

murdering the king (on multiple occasions)

murdering the queen (just the once)

inventing indestructible armour and then testing it on Guy

that weird thing with the, like… time-sensitive cannon? i don’t even know.

they are not good at plans, you guys, they’re really just. not good.

You could argue, if you were that way inclined, that there’s a fondness between them, but honestly I’m not hugely convinced…

ROBIN: There is no way Gisborne went to the Holy Land without your say-so.

SHERIFF: (feigning ignorance) Holy Land? Gisborne?

ROBIN: I have proof. On his arm. His tattoo. People in the King’s Guard know about that tattoo, and when they return, he will pay. And you will pay.

SHERIFF: (innocently) Tattoo?

The Sheriff yanks Guy’s arm up, rolls up his shirtsleeve, and calmly pours acid all over it, blistering the skin and destroying the ink. Guy screams.

SHERIFF: What tattoo?

Gisborne dislikes Vaisey intensely, and I don’t think Vaisey is capable of feeling anything but hatred toward anyone other than his sister. But as a team? Oh, man, as a team they’re super-fun, super-silly, and on occasion, vaguely competent.

Unlike…

ALLAN N’ GUY

pictured here: joe armstrong, suddenly feeling less self-conscious about his nose

Oh, would you just look at this totally manly heterosexual no-homo pair of good manly blokes being blokes? Haha, no, I’m kidding, these guys have UST coming out of their ears. From the origin of their working partnership (involving what has become affectionately known as the ‘vaguest torture scene ever’) to bullying and intimidation to unexpected awkward bromance, it’s no surprise that they’re one of the fandom’s favourite pairings:

Guy is having a surprisingly erotic dream, featuring Marian giving him a backrub.

MARIAN: I should have let you look after me, Guy.

Marian turns into Allan, still rubbing Guy’s back.

ALLAN:I should have let you. I’m your boy. I’m nothing without you. Right from the very beginning, I should have let you look after me.

Awkward.

More than that, however, Allan and Guy sum up why I love Team Castle: here are a pair of people with absolutely nothing in common, both working for their own ends and yet somehow managing to successfully work together.

I say ‘successfully’. I’ve already told you how Guy manages to be foiled at every turn, so when I tell you that Allan is the bumbling goon to Guy’s evil mastermind you’ll understand just how hopeless these two are. Yet whether you ship them or not, they’ve got real moments of friendship throughout, and when they team up with Marian, they’re pretty much unstoppable.

IN FANDOM

Guys, I’ll be honest with you - I’m more into the crack of Robin Hood fic than I am the serious stuff. But Team Castle are undeniably favourites in the fandom, and for very good reason. Marian/Guy is the show’s number one pairing on AO3, and Allan/Guy isn’t far behind. You’ll find a surprising (or not that surprising, really) number of threesome fics; a few Guy/Vaisey fics here and there, and even the occasional Allan/Marian.

SUMMARY

And that’s Team Castle. Want to know more? I can recommend @askteamcastle for adorable hijinks. You could check out the @mygangtome main blog, for submissions and reblogs from all the delightful people in the fandom - who’ll be thrilled to chat to you. We like new friends. Failing that - go find yourself a way to watch this show! Trust me, dear Tumblr user. It’s very much worth it.

SHERIFF: Oh, and by the way, Marian sent a message.

GUY: What message?

SHERIFF: “I’m not coming back, get over it, and for god’s sake, change your clothes once in a while.”

God, I love this ridiculous show.

bbc rh relationships: meet will and allan

OKAY TUMBLR.

Do you like Harry Lloyd? Of course you do.

Did you like that small angry man who played Hotspur in the Hollow Crown? I certainly hope so, or we’re going to have words.

Do you like: bros being bros, goofball / nerd friendships, true friendship overcoming all treachery and pretty boys being pretty?

You’re gonna love these guys.

Allow me to introduce you to… ALLAN A’DALE AND WILL SCARLETT.

IN CANON

Will Scarlett is a dashing young chap who hates injustice and has spent the last few years trying to feed his family through carpentry. Allan A’Dale is a conman and a thief. They meet in prison, as part of the Locksley four - a group of innocent men rescued from hanging by Robin, who end up joining his gang in Sherwood Forest.

And they become best friends.

Season One

ALLAN: Are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?

WILL: [bluntly] No.

ALLAN: [pause] Well if you’re not thinkin’ it, how’d d’you know what it is?

It’s pretty much a given that where you find Allan, you’ll find Will. Allan seems to be a little older than Will is, and perhaps that’s why they team up so often. Will’s the more mature of the two; cleverer, certainly, and less prone to speaking before he’s thought things through. Allan, on the other hand, is prone to sticking his foot in it on a daily basis.

Throughout the first season, they cause mayhem with the rest of the gang - Will comes up with ridiculous inventions and Allan occasionally remembers to actually use his brain. Allan announces that he’s got a crush on Djaq at the same moment that Will decides to finally confess that he’s madly in love with her, which is kind of awkward, or would be if Djaq didn’t walk around with a massive I’M IN LOVE WITH WILL SCARLETT t-shirt on.

At the end of the season, Allan, worrying for his future when Robin reclaims his titles, decides to run away, and it’s Will he chooses to go with.

I sometimes mourn for the fact that we did not get more of Allan n’ Will: The Roadtrip Movie, featuring these two dorks and Will’s aunt in Scarborough, but I guess that’s what fanfic’s for.

Season Two

WILL: You make me sick, you know that? Betraying your old friends. I hope you’re enjoying it, Allan. I couldn’t live with myself.

SPOILERS! Allan goes bad. Or at least, Allan spirals wildly out of control and ends up kicked out of the gang, working for Guy. And Will is heartbroken. That’s not me with shippy goggles on, by the way, he pretty much states it.

Will is the person Allan begs to forgive him; even after Robin has threatened to kill him, he still holds out hope that Will still believes there’s good in him. Will’s stoic, but I defy anyone to look at that ^ body language and tell me it’s not killing him. God bless you, Harry Lloyd and your acting.

Of course, the season ends with Allan risking it all to save the gang, and beautiful and heartwrenching it is too. And that’s when we lose Will - who chooses to remain in Acre with Djaq. The show’s a lot poorer for the loss of the pair of them, in my opinion. But we get some super Holy Land adventures in the meantime.

IN FANON

This picture taken entirely out of context for no reason whatsoever.

Look, if anyone’s got any fic about Allan and Will and those monk robes they wear that one time, you can find me @interestinggin, that’s all I’m saying.

These two boys are pretty much everyone’s favourites; they’re charming, attractive, and a deadly force when they work together. A lot of the time, you’ll find them in an OT3 with Djaq, or as a supporting pairing to other, more popular ships. As platonic pairings go, they’re pretty much ubiquitous. Will’s brother moves away and Allan’s brother dies, so they tend to be surrogates for each other, and it works pretty well. And, you know, they spend most of the show sleeping in bedrolls in a forest, so there’s plenty of room for fic fodder. I’ve even written them myself on occasion.

@exlibrisfangirl, @sylvi10, and @dreamersscape are among the most active fans that I know. Know some others? Reblog the post and let me know.

SUMMARY

So, that’s Will and Allan. Never saw one without the other, and nor would you want to. Brothers in arms ‘til death do them part. Friends, enemies - maybe more, if that’s how you like them. Either way, you gotta love ‘em.

Let’s hear it for the boys.