Don't Give Up

Hi :) I'm Jenny, a 18 year old and my life consists of netflix and sleeping.

[ink-pedia]

[cultclassicmovies]

[carlybabieex-blog]

[delta-breezes]

 Lisa Mönttinen Art | @art.iisan

[yoursummerdreamz]

[craved-deactivated20230908]

“But never have I been a calm blue sea. I have always been a storm.”

— Stevie Nicks (via quotemadness)

[aberrantemotion]

cis people: *get plastic surgery to look different*

cis people: *get surgery to enlarge their breasts*

cis people: *get surgery to enlarge their ass*

cis people: *get liposuction to make them skinnier*

trans people: hey could i get top surgery so i can be comfortable with my body?

cis people: BUT WHY?! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE, YOU DON’T NEED TO MUTILATE YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY! this is just a waste of money! You could regret this later on and feel like a stranger in your own body!

[noonefound-deactivated20230718]

Cis people: *don’t like their names and change them sometimes*

Cis people: *go by their middle name*

Cis people: *go by a nickname*

Trans people: hey, could you call me [chosen name] so I can be comfortable?

Cis people: ???WHY? YPU WERE GIVEN A NAME AT BIRTH! YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY NAME!!! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT? It will confuse me so much! I’ll never get used to calling you that so I won’t even try. It’ll be a waste of money to change it

[sapphires-so-sapphic]

cis people: *misgender dog*

cis people: *corrects each other when they misgender dogs*

cis people: *immediatly correct themselves when they misgender a dog*

trans people: hey, could you call me by my preferred pronoun please?

cis people: YOU CANT EXPECT US TO JUST CHANGE SOMETHING WE’VE BEEN REFFERING TO YOU AS FOR SO LONG, YOU WERE BORN A CERTAIN WAY AND WE WONT APPEAL YOUR LEFTIST AGENDA

[event-x-horizon]

Cis people: *take hormones for birth control*

Cis people: *take hormones to treat menopause*

Cis people: *take hormones to treat low testosterone*

Trans peole: can I get hormones to improve my health and happiness, too?

Cis people: FILLING YOUR BODY WITH HORMONES AND CHEMICALS IS UNNATURAL; YOUR BODY IS A FINELY CRAFTED MACHINE AND WORKING AGAINST THAT IS NOTHING SHORT OF SELF MUTILATION! HORMONES WILL CHANGE YOUR BODY AND MESS WITH YOUR HEAD! WHAT IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND???? ALSO SOMETHING SOMETHING BIG PHARMA!

[inthe-breeze]

I am just feeling alone and tired. Firstly with a job update, I had my year end review and I can tell my manager does not give a flying fuck about me. He does not know anything I have accomplished, nor does he care. He wrote no goals for me and did not give me any constructive criticism whatsoever. I have been at this job all of 7 months...there is no way that I have done everything absolutely perfectly and it bothers me that my manager does not care to help me succeed. I have done so much between the migration to eTask, being a high risk process metric owner, testing, running several reports to reduce the amount of data breaks between systems and still help with BAU in our inbox. I also feel that Chris continually says he hates the people that take credit for others work and continues to act like he does everything for eTask, when I do 85% of the work for it. I am just struggling to feel appreciated and struggling to feel like anyone even notices me. I feel like I work so hard and have caused myself so much stress with this job to be extremely replaceable on the team.

Secondly, I have no friends. I basically have my roommates Marissa and Nikki. Nikki is almost always on the phone with her boyfriend or spending the weekend with him (since they are long distance). And now that Marissa and her boyfriend are better she spends almost all of her time with him. I am realizing that I have no one. My co-workers do not really hang out outside of work and I have no one in this city. I feel so alone and I do not even know how to make friends. I am really struggling and I just really need help right now. I miss Jack so much, since he is in his last semester at Wilmington, and I miss all my long distance college friends and high school friends. No one is here and I just feel alone. When Marissa is with her boyfriend on a Saturday night and I am a 22 year old sitting alone on my couch watching designated survivor. I just hate everything about it. I want to go home and be with my parents, but I would feel like such a failure since all I have ever talked about is how I like being independent and I want to prove that I can do things on my own and I am coming to realize that I miss my family. I feel so left out that they can all see each other and I MAYBE get to see them once or twice a year. I just wish things were different. I want more than anything to go work abroad for a few years but now I am wondering if I would be able to do that...I wouldn’t be able to call my mom, like the first person I ever think to call to even just say hi to. And I don’t think Jack would follow me if I went abroad because he wants to be a police officer. I just don’t know what is happening and I am confused and upset and very very alone. 

[fotogrimsi-deactivated20230306]

[labella-instagram]

ig:  maudecpion

[florial]

You’re beautiful

[motivationsforlife]

Cozy by dpVIZ Studio

[thegoodvybe]

[thegoodvybe]

[inthe-breeze]

Drowning

Drowning,

In my thoughts 

In my mind

Never good enough.

Drowning,

In my heart

Don’t know what is right

What is wrong.

Drowning,

Is this challenging?

Or

Am I just not good enough?

Drowning,

In my own self-loathing

Self-hating

Self-harming.

Drowning,

Like a brick

Attached to my soul

Sinking ever deeper.

Drowning,

Flailing,

Screaming,

Needing.

Drowning,

Waiting for someone, anyone

To need me

Want me.

Drowning,

What if that is all I ever do?

Until one day

All I am is.

Drowned. 

[inthe-breeze]

Soooo fun stories. Europe was amazing with Cindy. We did everything in Paris and our bus driver cut some guy off so he got into our bus and almost full on brawled our driver. And London was incredible and I wish I could just go back and do it all over again. And being home was nice, Grandpa is not doing  great and had to go in for surgery while we were in Europe. Well I came back to the US and moved to Charlotte and honestly it sucks. Trying to meet new people sucks, and starting a new job sucks and living in this airbnb kind of sucks. I don’t know what is happening. But I started dating Jack and he makes me so happy and he told me he loves me and I love him back and I am so happy and so in love but I always ruin everything by overthinking. Noah and I went out together tonight and I was finally vulnerable about my feelings towards him and what changed. I just don’t know how to feel about anyone anymore. I really love Jack but I couldn’t say to Noah that I was dating him after telling Noah I could not date anyone. And with Jack it sucks because we never had the period of being friends before so being this far away makes it hard because I am so used to having someone as a friend. I really don’t know what to do or “who to choose” but I really do love Jack and I don’t want to lose him at this point. 

[extramadness]

[awo]

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