Getting meatier~ 🥩

Origami Around
Three Goblin Art

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
d e v o n

No title available
🪼

JVL

Product Placement

@theartofmadeline
Stranger Things
h
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Love Begins
No title available
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

ellievsbear
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
noise dept.
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

#extradirty

seen from Sweden
seen from Netherlands
seen from United Arab Emirates

seen from United States
seen from Sweden
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States

seen from Brunei
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@introvert-tar-gz
Getting meatier~ 🥩
I’ll try to write a long post later.
Nahahabag ako sa sarili ko. Halos wala akong makausap and all pero trinatry ko talaga makipag reconnect sa mga dati kong nakakausap. Sobrang nawala yung individuality ko simula nag ka lovelife ako and it’s my fault. Nawalan na ako ng mga kaibigan. Di ko na nakakausap yung mga dati kong nakakausap. Mali ko talaga.
I really want to end my life but I’m scared
Wouldn't mind dying in my sleep tonight.
I miss my old life
Do you still play Anno?
Not anymore. Curious, how did you know I play Anno?
How are you osh?
I’m good so far, I guess. I’ve been resting for almost two months now, still recovering from my work burnout and anxiety. I kinda miss working though. Right now, I’ve been thinking about preparing for my upcoming interviews in case I start applying again for a job soon.
I’m hoping everything’s gonna be okay.
Hi. I hope you get better soon. I can assure you it will get better. There were things that happened between us that made us never talk for quite some time. I, sincerely, hope and pray you get through what you’re going through. I hope I can say you can talk to me, not anonymously, if you’re having a bad day but I don’t think that would be okay. Hugsss
Thanks for the kind words. Hugs.
Everyday na lang ako inaatake ng anxiety and nakakapagod na
Surviving each day can feel heavy sometimes, but please be gentle with yourself and don't pressure yourself too much. You have done your best no matter how drained and tired you are. ❤️🩹
Well, I feel great after writing that post. I guess journaling helps a lot.
"How's it going?"
Someone would ask, "How's it going?" and I would answer it with, "It's okay."
But is it okay, though?
Well, the truth is I'm not quite okay. It's hard to explain to people how uneasy my life is right now, that I'm constantly worrying about my career and financial security, and that I'm having anxiety attacks every now and then.
Some big things happened in my life lately. Recently, I resigned from my job. It wasn't an easy choice. I have had a hard time dealing with my anxiety, which affected my performance at work. I would "freeze" every time my anxiety attacks, and the only thing that I could do to stop it was to take a short break and nap it away. But it didn't help that much. The anxiety was still there. It didn't stop. So, I have to force myself to work hard and double my effort to do my task. It was exhausting, but I had no choice. I have to finish all my deliverables by the end of the day.
I couldn't remember why and how my anxiety started. But I recall being anxious after becoming a senior in my role. Being a senior means having huge responsibilities and expectations at work. I felt a lot of pressure by having this kind of thought. It almost felt like I needed to be in my "perfectionist state" to become an ideal Senior Developer.
In preparation for my seniority role, I've read technical blogs and articles related to the technologies I would be dealing with in my work, refined my skill sets, and practiced coding by starting small self-initiative projects. I was making some good progress. But I remember I was still anxious because I felt like all the efforts that I was making were not enough.
The work had started, and I had been given a project and user stories to work with. Somehow, there was an overwhelming pressure and worry I would think -- like thoughts that I shouldn't make any mistakes at work, be able to deliver all my user stories on time, and so on. I think these kinds of thoughts are normal. But the problem was it grew into a sense of dread.
Every day, I would always worry about my work, even when there were no things to worry about. I would constantly overthink, and let my thoughts consume me. A part of me tells me that it was kind of my fault I gave in to my thoughts and never let myself rest once in a while.
I grew mentally exhausted, and so did my anxiety. Worst, it gave me bad ideations because I want to end my anxiety and rest once and for all. From that, I know how bad my anxiety and burnout I was.
With all that said, I decided to resign. I want to rest for now, at least for some months to destress from everything, hoping that I could recover in time.
But now, I'm anxious about my career and financial stability.
This is the first time that I will be vacant for some time. With no job means no income. Having that said, I have to be thrifty for now. I am just anxious that I might exhaust my life savings from all the unknown expenses that I might encounter in the future.
Another thing is my career. I worry that I might have a difficult time landing a job after anxiety happens and being vacant for some time. Explaining it well is a challenge so that's one of the things I am constantly anxious about right now.
This anxiety never stops, isn't it? Well, I'm trying to relax the best I can.
I'm still having anxiety attacks from these thoughts, but it wasn't as severe as compared to before. I had a session with my psychiatrist and she gave me medication for my anxiety, which helps a lot. She also gave me pointers and advice on how to handle my anxiety attacks better, one of which is to get back into journaling.
I think that's about it. Hopefully, everything's going to be alright.
Hello. Are you still here? I thought of you today. I, somehow, miss you. I don’t know where you are now. I hope you’re okay.
I’m still here. Just lurking around. But I’m planning to write again soon.
How much do you earn in a month? Kahit range lang po😊
Naku hahaha why muna natanong?
Yeah