wanderlust @inv1ncible - Tumblr Blog

buzz

In my family, I feel like it’s mandatory to graduate school like you don’t get brownie points for going through those years. I didn’t even feel special when I graduated high school much less now. This literally makes me feel less than I have felt.

♡

I’m losing my fucking mind

I live in a 4 room apartment, and last year, we filled up the house, but two moved out. This year, we got two new housemates, and let me tell you, they are fucking horrible. First off, they bring their boyfriends to live with them like I wouldn’t mind if they are chill, but no these fuckers are so fucking inconsiderate. It’s just respectful if you tell other people in this house what you’re planning to do like other people exist in the world. What’s crazier is that I don’t think the girls (housemates) realize that other people exist. They are fucking inconsiderate-- they took their spaces for the pantry which I was like it’s fine, whatever, but they started to put their stuff in the open space that was supposed to be for me. Sis????????? Again, I don’t think they realize other people exist. Constantly, at nighttime, they would be fucking loud and we have specifically told them how the walls are thin as fuck. Anything they do across the house can be heard. But guess who decided to watch a scary movie on full volume at 1 AM on a Monday night??????? :)))))) The girls claim their space and shit, but my roommate claimed all the space in the bathroom for her and her boyfriend and I am sick of it. In the morning, guess who fucking has to get up at the asscrack of dawn to avoid being late to class? Me. Nothing is fucking fair like it’s not even fairness at this point, it’s respect. But how can they respect if they were never taught the meaning of that word when they were younger?

I try to be the bigger person and not slam doors so they can reciprocate, but guess what? Since they’re not responsible for doors breaking, they’re gonna slam all they want. I just want a space and it’s obvious I can’t get that because the world revolves around them and they only exist. I have since day one tried to do a housemate contract, but since everyone’s schedule conflicts, we haven’t gotten around to it. Today I texted the housemates, and they said they would be busy all day, but guess who came home at 3 and was chilling in her room until 5???? :)))) Bitch, you guys literally don’t go to school. All you do is fuck around and make people uncomfortable. I want to make a contract so there can be order?????? I’m fucking paying the same amount as you to live here to be this uncomfortable.

Fun fact: yesterday, I overheard one of the girls’ boyfriend saying that he has social anxiety which I found funny because people with social anxiety are usually empathetic. Since you are uncomfortable, you don’t want others to feel uncomfortable as you, but guess who is inconsiderate and making me uncomfortable. I guess you can’t respect if you were never taught to!!

BEING AN ADULT IS FUN!!

#vent #rant

08/29/18

I have had so many friendships that we both grow out of because either I have a change of heart or they just don’t want me in their life. I have such high expectations in friendships because that’s what I truly believe about friendships: you need to receive the energy you give. That’s where I’m wrong. I expect too much out of people when I know people have problems with commitment. So, when I don’t get the “ride-or-die” feeling back, I begin to push them away which in return, makes me lonely. Usually, I’m okay with that, but lately, I just feel sad. Another thing about friendships is that people only want you in their life when you have something to offer. So, I’m always trying to prove to people that I’m worthy of being kept in their lives which is my fault. I give them my support in return with none and I blame them. It’s my fault; I chose to give them what they aren’t willing to return. I’m just expecting too much. I push away both people that I want and don’t want to keep in my life. Overall, with this realization, I have come to the conclusion that I need professional help.

#rant #vent