Hey! I'm posting this because I want to be completely transparent. I don't know when I will update or post more fic. I'm working on a degree and I will be taking classes year round through fall of 2027. This is not to say I for sure won't post anything, if an idea gets stuck in my head I will absolutely be writing it. But there definitely won't be any sort of regularity.
Summary: ECBO but if the mating bond snapped when Rhys and the former Night High Lord came to murder the High Lord of Spring and your brothers
Warnings: almost angst, Tamlin being Tamlin
Word Count: 1k
You're not sure what it was that woke you up; the coppery tang of blood that had permeated the air, or the sound of your door being opened. You bolt upright, clutching the blankets to your chest; something is wrong. Your gaze falls on the door frame and you catch a glimpse of dark hair and violet eyes as the male closes the door, a finger to his lips.
You take a moment to gather your wits, blinking in the dark, before all but leaping out of bed and stumbling into the hallway. The smell of blood is stronger out here, and you look around, taking in the carnage as you make your way down the hall. Two of your brothers and both your parents are dead. Tamlin and you are the only survivors. You chase after the male, you see him walk out the door as you're running down the stairs. You vaguely register Tamlin calling after you, but you ignore him. You run out of the manor, barefoot, following the dark haired male into the garden.
"Rhysand!" He hesitates, allowing you to catch up with him. You grab ahold of his sleeve and he turns to face you. The two of you watch each other for a moment; him steady, albeit confused by your actions, and you eyes wild and loose hair being whipped around by the wind. "Kill me too. Please. I want you to kill me too."
You watch as the emotions dance across his face, faster than you can name them. He shakes his head.
"I can't do that. I won't do that.”
“Why not?”
“Too many have died here already.”
You let out a bitter laugh. “You were fine killing my entire family, but draw the line at me?” You shove at his chest, angry and confused. Why did it matter to him if you lived or died?
“I'm sorry. I…” He trails off, his eyes going wide with surprise. He curses under his breath.
“You're sorry?” You laugh again, still shoving at him. He grabs your wrists, gently trapping them against his chest. “Do I need to beg?”
“No. I won't do it.” Rhysand looks at you, as if by staring he can figure out why it is you so desperately want to die.
“Then take me with you. Please. Anywhere else has to be better than here. Rhysand, please.” He's about to deny your request when he sees the expression on your face shift. The mating bond had snapped into place for you too. He catches you as your knees give out, sinking to the ground with you.
You beat at his chest; hot, angry tears rolling down your cheeks. He just lets you, feeling as if he deserves it. You're his mate and he caused you this pain.
“Get away from her!” Tamlin growls. Rhysand tries tucking you behind him, his instincts taking over despite his better judgement. You smack his hands away, placing yourself between the two males.
You hold your hands out towards your brother, as if trying to placate a wild animal. “Tamlin…”
His see his gaze dart between you and Rhysand, a growl rumbling deep in his chest when he realizes what has happened
“No.”
“Tam…”
“I said no,” he all but snarls. Tamlin closes the space between you, grabbing your arm and pulling you away from Rhysand. You cry out, sharp pain shooting up your arm like lightning as you're pulled. You glance over your shoulder at the violet eyed male, your mate. You can see the fury in Rhysand's eyes, but he doesn't move, worried that anything he could do might cause you further harm. You tug on the fledgling bond, trying to reassure him.
“Tamlin! Let go! You're hurting me!” He releases your arm, backing away as if you had struck him with your words. You back away from him, your eyes staying on his as you get closer to Rhysand.
“You know the laws, Tam. You know this isn't your choice. It is mine, and I choose to go with him.” Tamlin falls to his knees, reaching out to you. “I know what would happen to me if I stayed here. I would be forced to marry one of Beron Vanserra’s sons. Father already came to an agreement with him. You lose me either way. But this way, I get a choice. I decide what happens to me.” He calls out your name, begging you to stay. “I'm sorry. I truly am.” You take Rhysand's hand and he winnows the two of you away.
Rhysand lets go of you, stepping back when you arrive wherever it is he's taken you, dropping to his knees, not meeting your eyes.
“I understand if you wish to reject the bond because of what I have done. I have no regrets, except for the pain it may have caused you. Please, before you make a decision, allow me to explain myself.”
You kneel in front of him, cupping his cheek to tilt his face so that his eyes meet yours.
“I already know. I know what my father and brothers did. I saw the wings in my father's study. I do not hold any grudge against you for what you have done. I am well aware of the type of males they were.”
“Your mother… He wasn't supposed to kill her.”
“My mother was… It's more complicated than my father, I'll admit. But her love for him made her blind to his treatment of us. She was more concerned with shaping me into the perfect bride than she was with what he was doing. I will not reject the bond because of what happened tonight.”
Rhysand's eyes light up, as if filled with stars, twinkling in hope. “Really?”
You nod, already knowing you would do just about anything to see his eyes light up again. “Yes. It will take me time, and I wish to have a proper courtship first, but I have no intention of rejecting the bond.” You tug on the bond, smiling when he tugs back.
“I would do anything. You can take as much time as you need. Anything you want is yours.” You pull him to you, holding him tight, as you imagine the new future before you. One where you get to choose.
A/N: I guess I'm writing AUs for my own story now oops. This may be a standalone, but may also have two more parts. I have a Cassian fic that should also be posted this weekend, so keep an eye out for that!
Summary: Tamlin sent a letter and you open up to Rhys
Warnings: light angst? past abuse is implied, talks about character dying and pregnancy loss
Word Count: 2.1k
Prologue 1 2 3 4
You take a deep breath to steady yourself, staring at the wall ahead of you. You had seen Tamlin in one of his tempers, but had never been the focus before.
"You were supposed to take care of Feyre. It's your fault she had to make the bargain."
You say nothing, knowing that nothing you say will lower his temper. You continue to stare at the wall.
He continues to shout, but you tune out his words, just waiting for him to be done, flinching only when you hear the sound of shattering glass.
"Take her place. When Rhysand comes for her, offer to take her place. She has been through enough already, it is the least you can do." Your temper roars to life then, you rise suddenly, whirling to face him.
"And I have not? Have you forgotten what our father was like? Have you forgotten Andras?" Tamlin growls in response, and you flee from the room.
You wake with a start, taking a moment to remember where you are. You are in Night, and you are safe. You slip out of bed, sliding your dressing gown onto your shoulders, wrapping it across your chest to keep out the chill. You step into slippers, about to head for the door, when your gaze falls to the sealed envelope laying on the small desk. You had already opened and replied to the letter Feyre had sent you, but you had not opened the one from Tamlin that had arrived with it. You frown, tucking it into your pocket, walking out of your room.
There is already a fire roaring in the fireplace when you walk into the music room. You smile, taking a moment to warm yourself by it, retrieving the letter you had stowed in your pocket. For a brief moment, you debate throwing the letter into the fire, but that would be petty and vindictive, both of which you felt were justifiable. More importantly though, you were worried how it would affect Feyre if you failed to respond. You cross the room to the piano, sitting on the bench, hoping that the distance from the fire will lessen your desire to feed the letter to the flames. You turn it in your fingers, before tearing the envelope open, letting it fall to the floor as you unfold the letter. Time would not change its contents. It's surprisingly short, only a handful of lines long.
My Dearest Sister,
I hope all is well. Know that if you are not, I am doing all I can to help you. Have strength, I will find a way to break your bargain and end Rhysand's hold on you. Feyre and Lucien miss you and say hello.
Tamlin
You crumple the letter, letting it fall to lay next to the envelope, turning to the piano. Your hands fall into a song you know well, little thought needed on your part. After a while, you see Rhys sit next to you out of the corner of your eye. You continue playing, flowing through the songs with ease, until finally you feel calmer.
"I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No, I was already awake and heard you playing. Is everything alright?"
"I had a nightmare. And then decided I should read Tamlin's letter." You pick the paper up from the floor, passing it to Rhys. He reads it quickly, and you take his other hand in yours. Nothing else had happened since you had kissed him, but his presence was comforting.
"I see." You turn your gaze to him, knowing he has more he'd like to say, but is deciding if he should say it or not.
You nod. "I... I'm not sure what I expected. I don't think there was much he could have written that would have made me feel... Anything else. It's just not what I expected. Not long after.... After we got back to Spring, he asked me to offer to take Feyre's place. He blamed me for Feyre's bargain with you. I thought perhaps he would say something about that in his letter, but he did not. I'm not sure how I feel. I think I should be angry, but I'm not."
"How do you feel?" Rhys squeezes your hand lightly and you squeeze back.
"Sad mostly. I feel as if I'm watching Tamlin turn into our father. And you know almost as well as I do what kind of male he was. I wonder if it was everything that has happened to us, or if it was just a matter of time."
"Tamlin and I were friends once. I didn't know him nearly as well as I thought I did. I have spent a long time wondering if he was always the male who would be to blame for my mother and sister and I failed to see him clearly. In the end though, it doesn't matter. It wouldn't have changed what he chose to do."
"It does matter. If it was just a matter of time, then what if it's the same for me? Even if I become my mother, she loved her mate more than she loved her children and did nothing about how he treated us."
Rhys lets go of your hand, nudging your chin gently so that you meet his gaze, letting his touch linger for a moment before his hand drops back to yours.
"I don't think you're anything like either of them. If you were, you wouldn't have helped Feyre Under the Mountain or after. You wouldn't continue to worry about her. From what I have seen, you care too much about others to be cruel, intentionally or unintentionally."
Your first instinct is to look away, but instead you continue to meet his gaze, sinking into it.
“You remind me of him.” You say suddenly, blushing. “Of Andras, I mean. He always saw me for who I truly was and made sure I knew too. I think I'd forgotten what it was like to be seen by someone who thinks better of you than you think of yourself.”
“From what you've told me, he was a good male.”
“He was. I wish the Spring Court wasn't in such a rush to forget him. Tamlin and Lucien were the only ones left who knew him as well as I did, and Feyre feels guilty whenever I mention him, no matter how often I say I don't blame her.”
“You can talk about him here. I may not have known him, but I will listen to you.”
“Really? It won't bother you?”
He nods. “It won't. He was an important part of your life, it would bother me if you didn't. I don't want you to hold back the things you think might upset me. Darling, my ego is not so fragile that I would be upset by hearing about someone you loved before you truly knew me.”
You smile. “We were friends long before we fell in love. I had a habit of running away from home when things were… difficult… and so he was assigned as my guard to make sure I came back unharmed. He never stopped me, or forced me back before I was ready, despite knowing he was expected to. I had managed to slip everyone else though, so my mother convinced my father to let him remain as my guard so they at least knew I was safe. Not long before his death, my father told me I was to marry one of Beron’s sons and leave Spring. I knew I would marry some day, but I had heard how the Autumn court was and I was terrified. So I ran away again. I ran until I collapsed. I could still find the exact spot in Spring, because that's where Andras told me he loved me for the first time.” You pause for a moment, watching Rhys to judge his reaction. He's still watching you, listening as if everything you're saying is of the upmost importance.
“He knelt next to me, taking my hands in his and told me that he had fallen in love with me. He told me that it didn't matter if I shared his feelings or not, that if I wanted, he would run away with me so that I didn't have to go to Autumn. I think that scared me even more. Nobody had ever told me they loved me before, not even my parents. When I asked him why, he said, ‘Because you are kind. Despite it all, you are kind.’” You smile, remembering the moment.
“And then I ran away from him, back Manor, because I was afraid and I knew he wouldn't say more if there was the chance of being overheard. We both knew my father would kill Andras if he found out. And then your father killed my father and Tamlin became High Lord and it didn't matter anymore because I knew Tamlin would not send me away when I was the only family he had left. I didn't bring up that day and neither did Andras. Then one day we were walking in the garden together. I was talking about a new piece of music I had started working on and looked over at him. It suddenly hit me that I was in love with him too. I kissed him, and I must have scared him nearly as bad as he scared me when he confessed because he froze and just stood there. We courted for 20 years before we were married. He had wanted to marry right away, but I needed to take time to learn what it meant to love and be loved. Everything was better with him. We had just decided to start trying for a baby when Amarantha came. We knew we couldn't keep trying because we did not want to bring a child into that.” Rhys brushes away your tears and you pause. You didn't even realize you had started crying.
“And then it happened anyway. We were both terrified when we realized. It was so close to the deadline and we had no clue what would happen. So Andras went to Tamlin. I have no clue what he said to him, but in the end Tamlin agreed to send him over the wall to find the human who could save us all. I wanted to hate her when she first arrived, but I just… couldn't. I almost didn't believe it when Tamlin walked in with her, she was so young. She still is. I don't know if it was the surprise, or some lingering instinct from losing the baby, but I felt the need to protect her. I knew there was nothing I could do though, the best way to protect her was to keep her away from Tamlin, and if I kept her from Tamlin I would be wasting Andras’s sacrifice.” You pause, looking at Rhys. He knows enough of the rest of the story, there's no need to repeat it.
“I think that's where you remind me of him the most. He sacrificed everything to try to protect the people he loved. I don't know what it was you did to protect Velaris, but I can only imagine the cost.” Rhys brushes stray hair back from your face.
“I will tell you that story, but not tonight. You should get some more rest.” You nod, rising. You sway on your feet, exhaustion setting in suddenly. Rhys wraps an arm around you, guiding you to your room. You lean into him as you walk together, savoring the warmth of his body. He pushes the door open when you reach your room.
He lifts your hand to his lips, brushing a soft kiss against your knuckles before he turns to go.
“Wait! Would you stay with me?” You look down, blushing. “I haven't slept well since… since I was alone. I just thought that maybe if you were there too, I might sleep better.”
He hesitates in the doorway for a moment before turning back towards you and shutting the door. “Yes, I will stay with you.”
You let out a breath, nodding as you take off your dressing gown and slippers, returning them to their homes. You peel back the covers, sliding back into bed, smiling when you feel the bed sink with his weight. You glance over at him briefly, then lay down, curling up near him, but still leaving space between the two of you. You fall asleep almost immediately.
Rhys watches you sleep, with a smile. You look so relaxed in your sleep. He thinks about tomorrow, about you meeting his family and the smile widens. They'll love you as much as he already does.
A/N: hoo boy lots of long chunks of dialogue in this one! Like with Fixing Spring, I'm tagging all who previously requested being tagged and will stop if anyone requests! Feel free to send in requests, I'm going to work my way through a couple I already have this week!
Okay, I have a note on my phone with snippets that were ideas for my Before and After series, but I'm not sure any of them will work their way into actual fics because they don't fit and really focus on the relationship with Feyre. Would anyone be interested in reading them?
You lounge in the chair, sipping from your glass to hide your grimace. The physical work you and Tamlin had filled your days with has been easy compared to this. It turns out he is truly terrible at apologizing.
"Tamlin. For the last time stop explaining yourself. An apology isn't supposed to be about you. It's about how what you did impacted the other person."
"I really think the motivation behind the action is important. I-" he's cut off by the apple you throw at him, hitting him square in the chest. He's stopped growling at you when you throw things at him, but still glares.
"I'm sorry I threw that apple at you. I'm growing tired of hearing you say the word motivation. It almost certainly will happen again, because somehow despite having a small army of older brothers, you manage to be more annoying than all of them. Do you think that is an effective apology? Do you feel better?"
He crosses his arms, glowering at you, but there isn't much heat behind it.
"I suppose I can see your point."
You smile sweetly, settling back into your chair. "I thought you might. And don't forget that you decided to arm me with the bowl of apples."
"You asked me to pass it over to you!"
"I can always find a spray bottle instead."
"I'm not a poorly behaved dog!"
"I'm not sure you want me to comment on that."
He does growl at you then, patience wearing thin.
You sigh, expression growing soft.
"Tam, I'm hard on you because I know you're better than this. I know you are more than capable." You throw another apple, grinning when he catches it. "And like it or not, it's either help you get your shit together or hope the male I unfortunately call a father doesn't decide the Autumn court should be bigger. Which neither of us want."
"Because you like me or because you hate your father?"
"A healthy mix of both. Now try it again. Lucien is going to be here at the end of the week. I'm sure you can have a passable apology by then."
You watch Tamlin as he takes a bite out of the apple, leaning against the desk next to your chair. He opens his mouth, about to practice his apology again, but hesitates, mouth quirking down into a frown.
"What is it?"
"I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness. I'll still apologize to Lucien, he deserves as much. But when... if he chooses to forgive me, it is more than I deserve."
You take his free hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "We've talked about the self loathing."
He shakes his head. "This isn't self loathing. I'm reflecting, like you said I should. I was so terrible to Lucien. And to you. I sent Feyre away, knowing the fate I was dooming us all to. And then afterwards... I was so focused on trying to protect her, trying to find a way to break the bargain, that I drove myself halfway to madness with the fear of losing her. And then I did anyway, not in spite of what I was trying to do, but because of it. I have done everything so wrong, and hurt the people I care about most. Including you. And there are no words I can say that will change it or fix what I have done. I am so sorry, but that doesn't feel like enough."
"No," you agree. "But it's a start. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it and try to grow so we don't make the same mistakes again."
Tamlin nods, carefully nudging your chin up with the back of his hand so that he can look into your eyes, sincerity shining in his eyes. The tenderness of the gesture has your breath catching in your throat.
"I owe you an apology too. I promised refuge when you left your home. And I failed to provide it. I hurt you with the choices I made, and I didn't listen when you tried talking sense into me. I am so sorry. I do not deserve the kindness or help you have given me, but am so incredibly grateful for it. There is nothing I can do that will truly make up for what I have done, for what a terrible friend I have been to you, but I will spend the rest of my life trying.”
You ignore the way your heart twists when he says friend, shoving it away to unpack later, a small smile forming on your lips.
“See, I knew you could do it. That was a pretty good apology.”
“I meant every word of it.”
“I know. And I accept your apology. Although I do think there's one more thing you should apologize to me for. I was so right about Ianthe.”
He breathes out a small laugh, relieved that that's what it was. “You were right. I should have listened to you.”
“Oh, that's even better than getting an apology. I don't think any of my brothers have told me I'm right, despite how often I am. Lucien may be your best friend, but I am your best advice friend.”
He chuckles, ignoring the way his heart twists in his chest when you refer to yourself as his friend. Now is not the time to think about that, there's so much to do still, he’ll have time to think about it later. You're tugged up suddenly, pulled into a hug. You lean into the embrace, wrapping your arms around him, glad that he can't see the look of surprise splashed across your face from this angle.
“I've never appreciated you enough. And I should have. What would I do without you?”
“Probably wander Spring as a smelly beast for the rest of your life.”
He laughs fully, and the sound has you smiling into his shoulder. “It can't have been that bad.”
You pull your face away from his shoulder looking at him with mock sincerity. “Tamlin, that was the worst smell I have ever smelled. And I grew up with seven older brothers.”
He laughs again, smiling at you fondly, an emotion you can't name in his eyes. You untangle yourself from his arms, taking a step back as you realize you'd do anything to have him keep looking at you that way. The thought startles you, and you realize something truly terrible; you're still in love with him.
A/N: It's been a hot sec! I'm hoping to get back into posting more regularly, like 1 or 2 fics a week! I tagged people who requested to be tagged way back when I posted the first chapter, feel free to lmk if you no longer wish to be tagged in future parts!
Summary: After a mission gone wrong, you take shelter with Azriel only for neither of you to make it home alive
Warnings: reader death, MC death, suicide (not graphic), the dove isn't dead but it isn't doing well
Word Count: 1.0k
You cling to Azrael's hand, stumbling through the forest behind him. You aren’t entirely sure how you got here, how the mission had gone so wrong. You pant for breath, tears streaming down your cheeks from the pain each breath sends shooting through your ribs. You know they’re broken, but there’s nothing you can do about that now. Rain falls as you run, soaking you both, but there’s nothing you can do. All that matters at the moment is getting away.
Azriel turns suddenly, pulling you into a small cave, holding you to his chest. One of his hands is on the small of your back, the other cradling your head. You lean your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as you both hope your pursuers pass by.
Once he’s certain they’re gone, he relaxes his grip on you, and you look over eachother for injuries. Azriel is bleeding from a gash on his forehead and has a large tear on one of his wings. You on the otherhand aren’t faring well. Your broken ribs are screaming at you, and with how dizzy and lighteaded you feel now that the adrenaline is wearing off, you wonder if you hit your head, even though you don’t remember doing it.
You sway on your feet, and if it weren’t for Azriel, you would have fallen over. He catches you, gently lowering you to the damp cave floor. He carefully removes the armor that covers your chest and torso, sucking in a breath when he sees the bruising that spreads from the top of your ribs down across your abdomen. You need a healer. Now. But with his injured wing, he’s not taking you anywhere. He reaches out to Rhys, practically screaming for him, hoping he’s described where the two of you are well enough for him to be able to find you in time. He can’t lose you.
You shiver, yelping at the way the movement jostles your ribs. Azriel pulls you into his arms, careful not to hurt you. He wraps his uninjured wing around you, doing his best to keep you warm.
“I’ve got you, Love. Rhys and Feyre are on the way. They’ll be here soon.”
“Azzie…” Speaking hurts, so you stop, tugging weakly on the mating bond instead. You feel so tired. You know they won’t make it on time. Azriel knows too, but he won’t admit it. He refuses to accept that he’s going to lose you.
You can barely keep your eyes open now, but you tug on the bond harder this time, using most of your energy to tilt your face up. He cups your cheek, gently tilting your face the rest of the way to press a soft kiss to your lips. Your eyes fall shut as he kisses you, and they don’t open when he pulls back.
Azriel can feel it when you die. He feels the golden thread of the mating bond pull apart, your soul going somewhere he can't follow. The warm glow that had found its home in his chest went out, leaving him cold and hollow. He lowers you to the cave floor, brushing your hair back from your face. He puts the armor he had removed to check your injuries back on. He can’t hurt you now if he does it, and he doesn’t want to see the evidence of the injuries that took you away from him.
He brushes a hand across your cheek. You look peaceful, like you're sleeping, and if it weren’t for the pain of the broken mating bond, he might be able to pretend you were.
He lays next to you, pulling you into his arms like he does when the two of you go to bed, pressing his face into your hair, letting his tears flow. You were the best part of his life, and now you are gone.
He still remembers the day he had met you like it was yesterday. He had been following up on a lead in the Autumn Court. The lead itself had been a misdirection, leading him to you, one of Beron’s spies. You had ambushed him, and had him pinned to the ground when the mating bond snapped. You had never wanted to work for Beron, so you let him up and begged him to take you back to Night with him, and he did. He brought you to the Hewn City first, letting Rhys and Feyre decide if they could trust you and once they did, you found your home with him in Velaris. The two of you had been together ever since.
How empty that home will be now without you. He doesn’t have to return though, he realizes. He could follow you to wherever you have gone. He reluctantly lets go of you, sitting up so that he’s kneeling next to you. He removes Truth Teller from its home at his hip, holding it in shaking hands. He looks down at you, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He reaches out to Rhys once more, apologizing for what he’s about to do. He now understands the bargain Rhys and Feyre made. He cannot bear the thought of a world without you in it.
He shuts Rhys out, ignoring his brother as Truth Teller finds the spot where the mating bond once lived. This pain is nothing compared to the pain of losing you. He repeats the action twice more, making sure he’ll follow you to wherever you are. He lays back down, pulling you into his arms again, closing his eyes, imagining he's falling asleep with you one last time.
It’s Feyre that finds the two of you, following the scent of Azriels blood. She falls to her knees at the mouth of the cave, taking in the sight of the two of you lying together, the ground soaked in Azriel’s blood. Rhys isn't far behind, falling next to her, leaning on his mate for support, shedding tears for his lost brother. They take a moment to grieve before bringing the two of you home.
They make the pyre large enough for the two of you to lay side by side, hands intertwined and wrapped with black ribbon, just like they were at your mating ceremony. The two of you mates in life, and in death.
A/N: So here's the Azriel fic based on Triassic Love Song (very loosely). I would also like to formally apologize for killing Azriel again, I did not intend to do that when I started writing. If it makes y'all feel better I wrote this at the library and totally cried a little bit. On the bright side, I do have some not angst coming up for Lucien!
at this point what's the point of polls if azriel always wins😭😭😭
Originally I was just going to ignore this but like... It really annoyed me and made me not want to write so I guess I'll address it.
For me the point of the poll was for fun/engagement. I thought it was interesting to see the breakdown because it's different from the traffic I get on my fics. At the end of the day, it's just a poll on Tumblr, I'm not required to write for Azriel because he won the poll. I was in fact leaning towards Azriel before even posting the poll because I don't have much written for him.
My requests are open. If there's something you'd like to see for someone, I'd much rather you send in a request then complain about what I am/will be posting.
I may be overreacting, but this really irked me and has literally been bothering me since I got it.
Warnings: Lucien is shot by an arrow but no graphic violence and he's totally fine
Word Count: 1.0k
You pace in the hallway outside his room, waiting for the healer to step out, silently praying to Gods you don't even believe in. You weren't entirely sure what had happened, you just knew that one moment you had been at the edge of the woods with Lucien, looking for some of the plants from the book you had found in the library. Then suddenly, he was pulling you behind him, as an arrow was fired from somewhere in the forest, embedding itself into his chest.
You hadn't caught sight of who or what it came from; your screaming had drawn the attention of the closest sentries and Tamlin, who came running, finding you kneeling at Lucien's side, clutching his hand.
Somehow, you had made it back to the manor, although you weren't entirely sure how. Someone had led you to your room, pressing a steaming mug into your hand, but you had abandoned it in favor of finding your way to Lucien's room where you now paced, waiting for the healer to leave. A single arrow couldn't kill him, could it? Tamlin and the healer walk out and you freeze, staring at them. Tamlin walks over, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“He’ll be completely fine. The healer gave him a potion for pain that made him fall asleep, but you can go in and sit with him. He’ll want to see you when he wakes up.”
“Are you sure? I mean he's your friend, don't you want to be there with him?”
“I do. But I'm going to see if I can track down whoever is responsible. Plus I'm pretty sure he’ll appreciate seeing you more.”
You just nod, not entirely sure what Tamlin means by that as you slip into Lucien’s room, closing the door gently so you don't wake him. You hover awkwardly by the door for a few moments, staring at the chair near the bed before walking over to sit in it. You stare at his blanket covered chest, watching as it rises and falls, not allowing yourself to look at his face. If you look at his face, you'll find yourself falling into the thoughts you've been having about him recently all over again, reading far more into the situation than you should. He probably saved your life, but that doesn't make it mean anything.
When you had followed Feyre over the wall, you hadn't imagined yourself pining for a fae. You certainly couldn't imagine a world where he would want you in return.
You find that as your thoughts wandered, so did your gaze, and now you're staring at his face, eyes tracing the curves of the fox mask, along his nose to his lips, and you wonder, once again, what it would be like to kiss him.
You groan internally, leaning forward so that your forehead is leaning against the mattress. It will never happen. That you're almost certain of.
You must have fallen asleep, someone is saying your name, brushing the hair that had fallen loose from your braid out of your face. You blink groggily, confused at where you are for a moment before nearly bolting upright when you remember. Lucien chuckles, smiling at you.
“Easy there. Don't fall out of the chair.”
“You jumped in front of an arrow.”
“No ‘how am I feeling?’ You're jumping right into that?” You just give him a look. “Understood. And really there was no jumping involved. I stepped in front of an arrow.”
“Okay, you stepped in front of an arrow.” Tears sting your eyes and burn your throat, and you look down at your lap to hide them.
“Yes, I believe that has been established.” Lucien looks at you, trying to figure out why you're acting this way.
“Why?” You can't help yourself, you look up at him and he sees the tears that have started rolling down your cheeks. “I was so worried. I thought that you were… that I…”
“Come here.” Lucien pats the edge of the bed. You quickly oblige, willing to do whatever he asks of you in this moment, yelping quietly when he pulls you into his arms, tucking you to his chest, your ear pressed right over his heart. “Do you hear that?” You nod. “I'm alright. I knew I would survive that arrow. But you… you're human. That arrow could have killed you. So yes, I stepped in front of an arrow for you. And I’d do it again.” You close your eyes, listening to his heart beat as you let his words sink in.
“Please never do that again.”
“I would jump in front of a thousand arrows if it meant keeping you safe.”
You sit up, looking down at him, an eyebrow raised.“I thought you said you didn't jump in front of the arrow.”
Lucien laughs, brushing his thumb across your cheek as he moves to tuck your hair behind your ear, leaving his hand to rest on your neck. You meet his gaze, and it leaves you nearly breathless. You're certain nobody has ever looked at you this way, as if you hung the moon and stars in the sky. You lean forward, slowly, glancing towards his lips. His hand shifts to the nape of your neck as your lips meet his. The kiss is everything you had imagined it would be and so much more. You kiss him until you need to stop to breathe, leaning your forehead against his.
“I was hoping to do that while we were out on our walk today. It's why I asked to accompany you. I was going to tell you how I feel and kiss you. Although, if it gets you to kiss me like that again, I'd gladly take another arrow for you.”
You shake your head. “What if I just kiss you again?”
He grins. “I suppose that works too.”
You kiss him again. And again. And again. After a while, you go back to laying with him, listening to his heart beat again, as he plays with your hair, letting his heartbeat lull you to sleep.
He smiles when he realizes that you've fallen asleep, reveling in the feeling of holding you in his arms, knowing that you're safe. He may not know what will come next for Spring or for Prythian, but there is one thing he does know for sure. As long as he draws breath, he will do whatever he must to keep you from harm.
A/N: Woo! I wrote something! And nobody died this time!
I am still here and definitely intend to write more! I started writing a book and ADHD brain has decided to hyperfocus on that! I'm going to try to work on fixing spring, everything could be okay, and the follow-up where Az gets his mate!
Summary: Two drabble prompts "I know you." and "You could put a knife to my throat and I wouldn't flinch."
Warnings: light angst? but like soft angst?
Word Count: 1.2k
You sit out on the balcony, lost in thought, letting the cool night breeze dance across your skin. So much had changed in your 500 years. You chew on your lip, reflecting on it as you stare at the city down below.
You had been half human, born to a human mother, fathered by the King of Hybern. It was during the war that he discovered your existence, hunting you down so he could posess you, as if you were a rare book or an exotic flower.
You had given what little humanity you had up in a vain attempt to save the Archeron sisters. You had entered the cauldron willingly, hoping that it would be good enough for the mortal queens. It wasn’t. But in becoming full fae, you had felt something shift, felt a power that you hadn’t felt before. You had realized, with dawning horror, that the same power your father held was now awakening in you.
You had helped Feyre and the Shadowsinger when they had come to rescue Elain, fleeing with them. Hybern had never been your home. You had expected it to take time for them to trust you, but between going into the cauldron for the sisters and helping rescue Elain, you were surprised to find that the High Lady of the Night Court was quick to trust you, and so the High Lord did as well by extension.
You had also become fast friends with the High Lady’s sister, Nesta. It was if there was something in each of you that had recognized itself in the other, bonding you together. Your shared love of books had only grown the bond.
When she made the killing blow, you felt it. Not because of any love you had held for your father, you hated him with every fiber of your being, but because you had felt it as the power that had once been his, became yours. And you could sense his spell book across the ocean, singing out to you. Nesta was the only one you had told.
In turn, she told you about her own power and how she had kept it at bay with drinking and fucking. And so you joined her in the evenings at taverns and pleasure halls, drinking and dancing until you could no longer here the siren’s call of the spell book, stumbling home to your shabby apartment. You would not let the power corrupt you. You would not let it turn you into your father.
When Nesta had been forced to the House of Wind, you had joined her. Not because you had been ordered, but because you would not be left behind. When you burst into Rhysand’s study, anger rushing through your veins, power churning in your chest, that was the first time you had seen fear in the High Lord’s eyes when he looked at you. He had Azriel bring you to the House of Wind later that same day.
When she had opened up training to the priestesses, Nesta had asked you to join as well. You had gladly accepted, becoming a Valkyrie along with Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn. And now, here you sit, out on the balcony, staring down at the city of Velaris, avoiding sleep, avoiding nightmares.
You were surprised to find that you don’t miss the city, not really. You miss parts of it, the window seat in your apartment, the small bookstore you had worked in, the cafe you stopped by on your way to work, but not the city as a whole. You were less worried you’d accidentally hurt someone with your power, and that made it easier to keep shoved down. Even the call of the spell book had become easier to ignore when you couldn’t easily leave the house on your own.
You’re so lost in your own thoughts, that you don’t hear the Shadowsinger’s approach until he’s right next to you, saying your name.
You’re startled, the power you keep such a tight leash on, escaping your grasp, flaring to life in a flash of white light, shoving him away from you. You manage to regain control quickly, backing away until your back hits the railing of the balcony. You look over Azriel, noting that the male had somehow managed to stay on his feet. He looks at you, expression neutral, giving nothing away. You blink rapidly, trying to banish the tears that are burning your eyes. Azriel speaks first.
“I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me.” His words make a strange tightness in your chest release, but you don’t feel any better.
“I know it was an accident. You wouldn’t hurt me.”
“But I could.” Your voice is barely loud enough to be considered a whisper, but he hears you.
“Not on purpose. Not in a way that would matter. You could put a knife to my throat and I wouldn’t flinch.” He’s moving towards you slowly, eyes never leaving your face.
“That’s because you could disarm me with ease.”
He shakes his head. “No. It’s because I know you. And I see you.”
You wish you could take a step further back, away from the way his hazel gaze is piercing you, but you are already pressed up against the railing, any further and you’d go toppling over the edge. He stops moving when he’s in front of you, flaring his wings to shield you from the gazes of Nesta and Cassian who were awoken by your outburst of power.
“How? We’ve barely spoken. How could you possibly know me?”
“Because I’ve been watching you.” His cheeks tinge pink at the admission. “What I mean is I… See the way you put others before yourself. You went into the cauldron to try to save humans you didn’t even know. You helped Feyre and I escape when we rescued Elain. Back during the first war, I had heard about you. The half-fae healer who had given herslef over to the soldiers that had been hunting her down so that everyone else could escape.” He reaches a hand out towards you, letting it drop when you lean away. “What are you so afraid of?”
The tears you had been trying to will away finally break free, rolling down your cheeks.
“I don’t want to be like him. It’s his power.” Realization dawns on his face. He gently pulls you away from the railing, turning so he’s between you and the railing. He cups your chin, wiping a tear away as he forces you to look him in the eyes.
“You could never be like him. You are too good. You are far too good.” You want to argue, but theres something about the way his hazel eyes blaze with intensity that keeps you from arguing,
“It isn’t his power anymore. It’s yours. And it’s up to you what you do with it. And I, for one, think you will do amazing things with it.”
“Why?”
Before he can speak, the cauldron does, tying the two of you together in a flare of golden light.
“Because we’re mates.”
“Oh.” You blink, your brain trying to catch up with what has happened, equally torn between wanting to kiss him and wanting to run away. You’re about to do the former when the High Lord lands on the balcony. You can feel your barely contained power tugging at its leash once again, and so you do the latter, stepping back from Azriel, turning, and running past Nesta and Cassian. Nesta follows you, leaving the three brothers staring after you, wondering what they’re going to do.
A/N: well there are two of the drabble prompts @loving-and-dreaming
Keep sending in prompts and feel free to be as specific or as vague as you'd like!
Summary: A short follow up to Here for You. What if Feyre failed?
Warnings: angst, suicide (but nothing graphic), main character death
Word count: 450
You lay on the floor of your bedroom, dried tears making hair stick to your cheeks. Feyre was dead. She hadn't even made it past the first task. You felt empty without your twin. Like a piece of your soul was missing. You had lunged at the dais, if you were going for Amarantha or Tamlin, you weren't sure. But it hadn't mattered, the guards were faster. They had grabbed you, hauling you out, kicking and screaming, depositing you back in the room that had become your prison. Once the door had been shut and locked you had broken down, screaming and sobbing until you couldn't anymore. Until you didn't have any energy to do anything other than lay on the floor and hope that someone would come along to kill you too. You hope it's Lucien. That he keeps his promise. That you get to see him one last time.
As if summoned by your thoughts, the door opens and Lucien walks in. He kneels next to you, pulling you into his arms, holding you to his chest.
"I'm sorry I took so long, Love. But I'm here now. I'm here. And I'm not letting go." A fresh wave of tears hits and he holds you while you cry. He lets his own fall, thinking of the life he wishes he could have had with you. If Feyre had succeeded, he would have asked you to marry him, spent whatever little time he had with you by your side, searching for a way to save you from your mortality. Perhaps you would have gotten to have children together, with his hair and your eyes. But now, that would never happen. Not in this lifetime. Your tears subside and you look up at him, voice hoarse from all the crying.
"Do you remember your promise?"
"Yes. I can't talk you out of it?"
"No." He nods, pulling two vials of poison from his pocket. Your eyes widen with realization.
"If you're going, I'm going with you. It's painless, like falling asleep." You look like you want to argue, but nod instead.
"I love you, Luc. I wish we could have had more time."
"I love you too." He hands you one of the vials, and you both uncork them at the same time. He looks you in the eyes, to make sure you're certain and you nod. You drink the poison together. You lean up and kiss him before laying your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, smiling as he plays with your hair. After a few minutes, you start to grow drowsy, and you can hear his heart slowing. He was right, it's just like falling asleep.
A/N: And here I am again! I'm slowly working on the drabble requests I have because I don't have wifi currently and they're turning out a bit longer than drabbles oops. If you have something you'd like to see or any ideas about who you think I should kill next, feel free to send me a request!
