Pulsian Hunter Noel

Current Rank: 75000 ❝ Like a phoenix, you'll rise from the ashes of the past, stronger than before.❞ [ Indie Noel Kreiss RP blog ]

[inxparadisum-blog]

outoftime; Due to some personal reasons and the desire for a fresh start--I will be moving to a new account! All established headcanon and relationships will remain the same, as well current roleplays. u wu 

[inxparadisum-blog]

Hesitant Goodbyes // P4 AU

[bethelastranker]

Fighting Shadows didn’t require a Persona all the time. Often times Zig just stuck to his weapon and saved his Personas for when that wouldn’t be enough. Gauging his progress so to speak. If Noel tried to defeat the Shadows, he believed he truly could do so with some effort.

"Perhaps, but at what cost? And for how long? What if you remove the fog only for a day? That won’t be of much use to us since we wouldn’t be going in there for anything besides mini-training sessions." Short exposures to the fog didn’t bother him much. Rescues were what murdered his health, having to venture within the fog for hours upon hours in days of succession.

Noel was too busy comparing himself to other things if you wanted Zig’s opinion. It made proving his side of the argument hard. “So what? You’re still showing you care about me by taking care of me. The fog may make me sick, but if I let it hold me down, that’s when it becomes a problem. The only “bad” you’re doing is protecting me from the things I’m searching for!” And the transfer student wouldn’t allow that. No sir. “Suicide missions don’t solve anything. I’ll be kidnapped sometime; I saw myself on the Midnight Channel once before. No fog makes the Shadows violent, so won’t that be hurting me just as bad?”  

At least Rosa was firmly behind him in this tossup. His altruistic boyfriend wouldn’t be listening to him anytime soon, so the extra voice helped in theory. “I think that’s the story I remember.” He remembered the details vaguely, so who knows if he assumed right. “Was his job hurting people? I know the fog’s been making people sick, me most of all, so it makes sense on that ground. Not to mention trying to make everyone happy is close to impossible…” Rosa showed mercy and allowed Noel to not suffer a few inch heels stabbing into his head, although he didn’t notice in his puddle of tears.

"I don’t love a monster; I love Noel Kreiss, my altruistic boyfriend who works feverishly to keep everyone—mostly myself—happy no matter what. And also, shouldn’t I decide who’s worthy of me or not?" Zig lifted Noel up enough so he’d sob into his uniform, one pale arm massaging the crying god’s back. "Shh, you don’t need to cry. Calm down, take deep breaths, and think about this rationally. Do you really want to leave Inaba behind? Everyone would miss you if you left. Please stay, okay? I don’t know what I would do without you by my side." 

[inxparadisum-blog]

The shadows fed off of people's negative emotions--And without a persona no normal human could ever live through such an ordeal unless they had the true potential to wield a persona in the first place. Of course Noel was a special exception to the rule--The shadows wouldn't dare hurt a part of the kami that had beckoned them forth.

"It won't be nearly as concentrated as it is now, won't it? And you'd have to make due with what you have...But nonetheless...I want to try. You take all kinds of risks for your cause, don't you? Is it not fair that I do the very same...?" He truly did believe every word he said--Zig was practically protecting all of humanity with his efforts...Noel has a duty to help him and protect him in a sense as well.

The comparisons weren't even remotely apt-- "But it's not nearly good enough...Not by my standards at all." He huffed, holding his hand over his right eye. The pain had only gotten worse and worse in it lately... "I just want to give you the happiness you so deny yourself!" He fell over, eyes tightly shutting due to the pain. What was wrong with him now?! "Says you! Sometimes people have to die so a world can live in peace and harmony. Everyone loves to shove blame on someone else, so why not me? And the shadows only get angry when the fog exists in the human world...I could easily purge it from both..." He was breathing heavy, face still firmly planted into the carpet.

"No, he fulfills the collective wishes of mankind, Jigu-san. Humankind prefer pretty lies rather than the harsh truth--And that is what the fog brings when it runs its course. Get deep enough into it and you will find truth in its purest form. And happiness doesn't always have to be subjective...I'm sure more than enough people would like a peaceful illusion more than their actual lives." She took a couple steps back, watching Noel lose his composure--The facade of happiness he always did his best to keep up for everyone's sake. Especially Zig's who was always doing the very same--Except he would let Noel in at times, but not really vice versa in the least.

"I. Am. A. Monster! Damn it Zig--You don't understand it!" He huffed, glaring at the other, right eye a strange green color--It looked like a camera lens almost. "I'm not human, and I can't ever be human! I'll end up hurting you in the end...That's the last thing you want, isn't it? To have someone hurt you and leave you behind..." He could easily see what it was in Zig's heart...and he couldn't give it to him...How awful. "I don't want to leave...But it's for the best of everyone I fix the problems I started by miscalculation...B-but I have to make everyone happy too don't I...? I-I want to be with you always Zig..." He was so confused--What should he do?

[bethelastranker]

Shadow Hunters // LR AU

[bethelastranker]

"So long as you try, I cannot argue with you. Lumina has her own agenda, so I can’t really tell you what she plans to do or how. All I’m asking is you request she be less harsh on the the civilians. They’ve done nothing wrong, so they don’t deserve giant monsters wrecking what little they have." Even basic items were becoming scarce these days. Without time, animals and plants couldn’t grow. Would they last the thirteen days? "I could convince her out of it. In this world, nothing is set in stone. Killing you could be more of a burden than letting you live in terms of saving this world. Trust me—I’ll do what I can so Lightning doesn’t attack you. Consider it a promise." Zig smiled slightly, although it lasted for little time.

"Consequences mean nothing to me. All I do is kill Shadows day in till day out. In the grand scheme of things, them injuring me would shrink me out of work for a few days. No matter what, I want to protect you Noel. I’ve neglected to do so for five hundred years; while it might be extremely late, I see no reason not to start now. Please don’t run away… I’ll miss you if you leave again. But if this is what you believe is best, it’s not like me asking you to stay will do anything." Noel had become incredibly distant from him. It depressed him—even close to each other they were miles apart. "I don’t mind dying. You keep pushing me away, home won’t feel like home after so long, and everyone in Ghandoar will be like strangers to me. All I can remember is their names—even then I’m sure I’ve forgotten some." Zig missed Ghandoar, sure, but honestly… After so long, he couldn’t think of it as home properly. He’d nearly forgotten everything related to his home, so what did it matter whether he went back or not? "That’s all you’ll let me do."

The Ranker’s tears weren’t slowing down anytime soon. The way Noel treated him now was a toll on his unstable personality. He wasn’t suffering from possibile insanity or anything; rather his emotions could go haywire to fine in seconds. “No. I’ll never talk again. No one ever talks to me or wants to at least. My purpose is to kill things—I don’t need a voice for that.” Zig continued to silently sob, obviously in terrible need of some comfort. Noel wasn’t doing much of a job in his efforts, assuming he was trying at all, so he’d keep crying and that was that. The Order wouldn’t care so long as he kept it down.

Commander Marquis wasn’t in the mood to play this game of charades with Noel. He wasn’t easily fooled, and the way Noel became so defensive of Zig wouldn’t be natural for an emotionally-hardened prisoner unless there were strong ties between them. As to test Noel’s lie, Marquis removed a knife from Zig’s pouch and held it right up to his its owner’s neck. “If you’re telling the truth, then remove the Shadows from Kraft’s body. When infected, he can’t fight Shadows, making him a liability. I’m not soft like Claudius; I don’t carry around dead weight.” He waited for a few minutes until he put the knife away, regardless of the result. If it didn’t work, his point was proven.

"Killing you would be doing you a favor; the Order doesn’t do criminals favors." Maquis answered without hesitation. He’d love to kill Noel, yet a swift, painful death didn’t suit a person like him. Plus, Zig had some control over his Shadow power. It could be dangerous to anger him. "So says the fool who killed Etro and doomed innocent lives to a timeless turmoil. I feel bad for Kraft: he loves and is loved by the worst of humanity. That’s all the torture he needs." 

[inxparadisum-blog]

"I agree--If I want to start something with Lightning, I make sure it's somewhere deserted and no one will be able to get harmed in the process...Well no one unintentionally anyway." He gave an ominous grin--Something far too uncharacteristic for the Noel that Zig once knew. He wasn't the same as before all of this...But it honestly wasn't his fault. The torture and suffering he endured under the order's hand, made him nearly lose his mind in the process. "Doubtful. She's far more stubborn than I have ever been--And even so, her job is to take the souls of the masses and bring them to the next world or life. I wouldn't be an ongoing problem once I was just spiritual energy trapped into whatever container she keep souls in, hm? She's a real angel of death, fer sure." He sighed, none too pleased.

"And my job is to protect you, it always has been--Even if you deny it so. I asked you to marry me all those years ago, because I wanted to keep you happy, healthy and happy for as long as I could. I failed, obviously--Disappearing after you stormed out. I only had gone out for a walk to clear my head honestly. Then the order grabbed me and I wasn't able to get out for a couple centuries." He sighed, this was getting hard for him to keep up with--He still had strong feelings for his fiance--But he'd kept himself so callous and cold for so long as a means to protect himself from anyone who would try to use his feelings against him, just like everyone had always done beforehand. "I mind you dying, but if it saves you from this mess...Even then I don't like it. But I know you'd feel awkward. I can't even go back to any sort of normal life anymore--You wonder why I didn't run back to you. I was a mess when I got away...And you wouldn't have wanted me back at the time. I didn't sleep for a month--Thinking someone was coming to take me back...Even now you see I'm not remotely healed. Especially when I'm acting like this...I wish you could understand why I'm doing all this--It's just my job to protect others. I never became a true guardian for a reason I guess...I'm just a failure in the end."

He shook his head softly, walking over towards the other and petting his head softly--He honestly didn't think any kind of intimate touch would warrant him anything less than a smack in the face after all he had said. "You're going to have to talk your way out of an execution whenever they find out you have ties to me--I doubt you have any sick desires to be tortured to death like me, Zig. You need to survive--Just like you have all this time. I'm not even really living at all anymore...That has a connotation of some sort of pleasure. I wish for death every single day--The order will probably kill me soon enough. Then you won't have a reason to cry anymore." He closed his eyes, lifting his hand off of the other's head. It felt like it was made of lead, and so did the rest of his body--He was going to die, and soon.

"I would, but your friend over here has me all bound up--Simple holy magic gets rid of them, idiots. I forgot, you all have no clue when it comes to it--Healing spells make the shadows weak and disperse them from the body of a host." He sighed, freeing a hand to cast a curaja spell on the ranker--Making him shake a little from pain, but the black smoke that characterized the shadows all left his body, before Noel finished them off. "Now you keep your filthy and blood drenched hands off of him, hm? Or I'll rip you to shreds with my bare hands." He hissed, feeling the pain in his chest again. He didn't have any energy to heal himself...Better Zig would be okay. He'd been through more than enough.

"Heheh...Could you even kill me? You only kill those who have given up on living once you torture them and make them believe they are the form of death itself for being attacked by the shadows--You disgust me!" He huffed, moving to kick the commander in the throat. "Blame Caius for all of this--Not me! He forced my damn hand to pierce his chest. And you can't talk! You are no better, trying to control the world, and bring the end about without even fighting back! Torture you say? You took me away and refused to let anyone I knew know where you were keeping me, you bastar--" Another kick to the chest, and Noel was down for the count. 

[inxparadisum-blog]

Hesitant Goodbyes // P4 AU

[bethelastranker]

Zig didn’t really need Noel pointing out the obvious. He was well aware the fog had to be coming from somewhere else which couldn’t be too far if one thought about it. It still exposed Noel’s lie, and it left an explanation to be desired in its wake. Was it really that important not to tell him the real truth and keep dodging the question?

"I know it comes from somewhere else, and isn’t it my job to find out where the source is? As Igor told me, the truth lies beyond the fog—the truth I’m searching for’s hidden inside it. My health’s fine so long as I rest after each time I venture into the Shadow World; you can’t take it away until I find what its hiding, Noel. If you wish to help me, then fight at my side. Don’t do the opposite and upset me…" Was it so hard to figure out? If Noel wanted to help him so desperately, then he could help him search for the truth! Taking away the fog could in turn take away the mystery behind it. Simply put it’d stop the Investigation Team in its tracks.

Why did love need to be proven? And if so, hadn’t Noel already done so? “You’ve done plenty to help me Noel. You take care of me when I’m sick, calm me down whenever I get overly emotional, just because you don’t physically protect me doesn’t mean you haven’t shown you loved me.” A means to die? Wasn’t that laying it down a bit thick? “To be honest, with my health as it is, I may die—fog or no fog. Even so, I want to do something Noel. If you’re going to shoulder a burden, let me try and help—it might do me some good.” It’d do his Social Links some good anyhow.

Zig listened as Rosa kept screaming at Noel for daring to even try to follow on his mission. She was concerned more about the effect on him rather than Noel, mentioning the power he gained from his bond with Noel—the Aeon Arcana. She also dropped a name he knew of vaguely because he read about it, Kusumi-no-Kami. Was that Noel’s real name? From how Noel suddenly hissed at the name, he must have had some affinity to it in the past.

"So he’s like an extension of another goddess that split herself? Strange, I remember reading something like that before… Can’t remember where though." He brought this up since he wanted stall time trying to register one tiny item: a god fell in love with him. It happened in novels, sure, but in real life? Not until now. "He can’t do that! The team and I want to find the truth in the fog; if he has to obey the wishes of humanity, he should respect that and leave the fog alone, right? Besides, I don’t want him to hurt himself, good-intentioned as he may be." Zig then knelt down to meet his crying love.

"Noel, don’t cry. I’ll find the truth within the fog—and when I do, I’ll find the source and defeat it. Then I’ll get better and we can spend more time together. I love you Noel, and I don’t want you to leave me only to die…" 

[inxparadisum-blog]

It was no lie though--He was going to help. Sure the fog would come back again, but knowing how well Zig and the others worked together...They'd find the true culprit easier if the fog wasn't hindering all of their movements and the like.

"But that doesn't mean I can't help you in dispersing it...And you know I have no means to fight--You can't fight shadows without a persona. I'd be killed if I went out into one of the more infested parts of the world..." He would prefer not to be eaten alive mentally by a bunch of creatures that liked nothing better than to make him feel awfully depressed.

He sighed, none too pleased. "Anyone could do that for you Zig. And others have done it for you whenever I wasn't around..." He sighed, Zig proving his point. "But yet you never really get better with all of the fog getting into your system. I want to protect you--I need to make up for all the bad that I've done..." He was being vague, and within good reason. "Zig...I love you but...This is something that I can only do. If I could do it any other way...I would. But if it is a means to take you from this world--I won't allow it." He stood firm, not budging any further in the subject.

Izanagi help him--What was with her? She was going insane over this, when she was perfectly fine with his plans when he left the velvet room earlier that very day--Did Igor say something to her? He'd told the boy that he would respect any wishes and decisions he had, yet he probably told her something else...No one but himself should have known his true identity.

"Perhaps, you've read about the myth of creation? You'd know about the two kami that created this string of islands you live on..." She sighed, Zig not understanding Noel's purpose fully. "He has to listen to the will of the masses...Usually. He hasn't done his job in a very long time--He lost his memories as a result of not wanting to hurt anyone, anymore. Hence why he's acting like this--Last time I check you were supposed to be the only fool here, Kraft." She sighed, lifting her heel off of the boy's head, only to leave him there to cry into the carpet.

"How can you love a monster? Someone who lead you and all of your friends to suffering greatly...Don't be so silly...As much as I love you--You're not mine to have in the end..." He was still crying, burying his face into the floor out of shame. 

[inxparadisum-blog]

Hesitant Goodbyes // P4 AU

[bethelastranker]

How could leaving Inaba do anything to cure the fog? Logically, remaining inside the city would be more beneficial. Where was his lover trying to go and what made him believe that leaving Inaba was the key way to warding off the venomous fog? Really, if this was an elaborate excuse for Noel to cut ties with him, just coming out with the cold hard truth would be completely fine with him. Mostly.

"Wouldn’t it be easier to cure Inaba’s fog by staying in Inaba? Where in the world are you planning to go that’ll somehow fix the weather? And to be frank, without the killer caught, he may be the source of the fog; if we don’t find him, it may as well come back again." That was his theory. The killer had to know the Shadows got violent when the fog in the Shadow World cleared, so he most likely manipulated the fog as to cause these incidents. Killers could be crafty if given the time to plot and scheme.

"Clearly that’s a lie if you’re completely alright with torturing my feelings by leaving! Also, I don’t remember asking you to protect me. I can protect myself, as I’ve demonstrated." Even sick the transfer student had a bit of bite to him. Noel seemed blinded to this fact. "Because eventually reality used it against me. The only thing I regret is trying to break my mantra: Live well, while keeping a good distance from others. This is what happens when I try every time…." Nothing but the feelings of sorrow and betrayal wait at the end of the road dare he forget his mantra.

Thankfully Zig managed to outrun Noel as he huddled in his room and didn’t even bother to acknowledge the person waiting outside anymore. His attention was quickly called back though as a voice he recognized could be heard talking to Noel. Rosa was disciplining Noel for attempting to steal Zig’s job of finding the truth and dispelling the fog, which didn’t surprise him. Igor basically spelled it out that he was to try and find the truth within the limitless fog. What did happen to catch his attention was the last tidbit Rosa said.

"…Did I hear that right?" Zig unlocked his bedroom door and stepped out after wiping his eyes of any lingering tears. He was pretty sure he heard that right… "Noel’s a god? Was that the memory he’d been forgetting all this time?" 

[inxparadisum-blog]

He was going away to get rid of the fog--He'd absorb it all and then he'd destroy it all with himself in a faraway place in the Shadow World that he created. Simple as that in all honesty. He fog would hurt him greatly before he even got to that hidden place--Maybe he'd finally understand only a little bit of the suffering Zig would always go through?

"The fog doesn't come from Inaba itself...It comes from somewhere else, for sure. If I could find the source and stop it--I would in a heartbeat. But I'll make sure it no longer can hinder you and your health so long as you travel on what seems like this journey without end. I may not be able to do anything of true worth for you in life but...This much will make up for all of my shortcomings." Or so he felt anyway--Not that this was the best course of action in the least. He wasn't thinking clearly due to the current revelations about himself...He honestly didn't know it, but he needed Zig to bring him back down to Earth--Otherwise he'd doom a lot more people than himself.

"I want to protect you for once--Just as you have for me all this time. I haven't done anything to prove myself worthy of your love Zig-san...Everyone else has helped you somehow...I've only caused you pain time and time again...I'm sorry..." He sighed, wishing he'd just disappeared without a goodbye now. "That is no way to live--It's only a means to die for someone like you! But...I have no right to argue that anymore...I've done the same to myself." He huffed, getting even more depressed with every single word.

Rosa just couldn't believe how quickly the boy had lost hope--He learned who he truly was, and suddenly wanted to kill himself for his dear fools' sake. "You're only hurting yourself by doing this--And costing your love precious strength that is born from the bond between the two of you!" She huffed, smacking him over the head with the compendium once again. "How can you be so selfish? Your job is to make humanity happy, isn't it Kusumi-No-Kami?" Noel looked up with a hiss, obviously none too thrilled to be called by his true name. His anger was only met with a heeled boot pushing his face into the fluffy carpet.

"It's very complicated Zig...He is a part of a goddess long since passed from this world--And the job he was supposed to do was to keep humanity happy by giving them their desires..." She sighed, hating to admit the truth. "Humanity wanted to live in blissful ignorance and...They brought the fog upon themselves by wanting to only see their own visions of reality...Noel merely wants to take the fog away by taking it down with himself in the process..." She looked down at the boy, who was crying--Out of pure disgust for himself, no less. 

[inxparadisum-blog]

Hesitant Goodbyes // P4 AU

[bethelastranker]

Talk about dropping a bomb… While Noel certainly tried to offer a bit of distraction talking about Mena with him, it didn’t change the matter of his boyfriend admitting to leaving for good. It explained why he thought to confront him alone—if anyone else heard this, they’d smack Noel for daring to possibly hurt their nephew, brother, leader, or anything else people thought of him as.

Zig, on the other hand, was much more timid about it. It could be because of his illness or simply his relationship with Noel, but he couldn’t muster up any heart to be extremely blunt and tell Noel leaving was a stupid idea. He’d try… “Why would you go overseas? I thought you told me your memories are here, and the only place I’ve ever seen you needed is the Velvet Room, not to sound like an inconsiderate jerk.” To be frank, he wasn’t buying it. Noel was sure leaving, but overseas? It didn’t seem logical at all.

"If you really loved me, you’d see that leaving would only hurt me more in the end. You’re asking for the impossible Noel—I’m not going to magically forget you and find love in someone else. I trusted you Noel…" Noel probably wouldn’t get the meaning behind that last part. Didn’t matter either way. "No, I’m sorry. I thought opening up to someone would be a welcome change. Too bad reality’s much more cruel; it spit my choice right back in my face." Zig laughed bitterly, doing his best to play off his hurt feelings to not upset them both.

"You would think I’d learn my lesson by now. Bonds are temporary—once you’re gone, they crumble like dust in the wind." Sniffles could be heard from the about-to-cry transfer student. "D-Do what you please. I feel there’s something in my eye; have a fun time overseas, Noel." With that, Zig abruptly ran up the stairs to him room and locked the door behind him. Once inside, he curled up into his futon and let his tears slip. The one time he tried to open up and he was utterly betrayed. In his mind he knew following such a path would only hurt him, but his heart didn’t listen. Now it was broken, as it should have expected. 

[inxparadisum-blog]

There probably were a lot better excuses to make, but he honestly didn't think too far into it--He'd be gone and no longer a memory once he took his very last breath in his very own grave...Rosa promised him that she would take care of Zig from now on, so he had no worries. Zig would hate him for all of this--But he'd be happy and healthy once again in the long run.

"There's something I must do there--I'll get rid of the fog here if I try it out...If not I'll just get hurt and can't come back. My memories will always lie with you and this sleepy little town--That much I know for sure, Zig. You've made me so happy all this time...More than I could ever deserve, But now I have to do something to help you in return..." He smiled, again, trying to reassure the other that this was the best possible solution. It wasn't in all reality--But what else could he do about this fog? Idly sit by and watch everyone he loved suffer? No sirree.

He sighed--This was getting hard for him to take. "But I love you too much to see you suffer like this Zig! Even if it kills me...I want to keep you safe, always. Why would you regret your choice, if it helped you...? Do you regret falling in love with me then? I'm sorry I forced you into it then--But, there's nothing more I can do for you." He sighed, looking at the other, but not focusing on his face whatsoever. It'd hurt him far too much.

"Zig--W-wait!" He ran after the other, trying to catch up, but he was too slow, and the other was locked inside. "Please...You have to understand..." He fell to the ground, words falling on deaf ears. He was about to cry himself--But he felt a book whack him over the head harshly.

A female voice huffed, before the book landed on the crown of his head once more. "You...Are the biggest fool I know out there Noel. How could you subject Zig-san to all of this?" It was Rosa, very, very angry at the boy. Oh goddess help him... "You think going on this suicide mission of yours will do any good? Sure--You could get rid of all the fog. But that is not your job! It's Zig's to figure out this mystery! I don't care if your duty as a kami caused this to occur...You can't die to protect him. Could you even die when you think about it...? You aren't human." Noel sighed, not remembering that his former lover was only a couple feet away hearing all of this.

"...What else do you expect me to do?"

[inxparadisum-blog]

Hesitant Goodbyes // P4 AU

[bethelastranker]

Noel followed him into the house rather quietly, which was mostly unlike him. Normally he would be smiling and talking ear off, but now? He just seemed pained and restraining himself like his mother would during the lowest points of her depression. Naturally he’d been there for her through the best and the worst, so he picked up commonly missed visual cues due to catering his mother before he was even out of elementary school.

"Well Mena’s excited whenever I get to stay home honestly, be it because of my weird sickness or during actual school breaks. My teacher’s have been rather understanding since the fog’s been making a lot of kids sick. I’m just the worst case, honestly." Most kids were only out for a day or two; he was missing school in week increments. That’s what he got for being leader—all that time without a break eventually piled up and now he’d been absent since the case was solved.

It was only to get worse as Noel admitted to a forced trip he was taking, although he apologized like always. “Where are you going? And for how long? I’m starting to feel better, so I’ll actually be able to go back to school and such this Monday.” And even if that were a lie, he was basically at the lowest point in health. Zig couldn’t get much worse, if at all. It could only get better from here, right?

"…Or is this your way of saying you’re breaking up with me? If that’s the case, I’m sorry for being a terrible boyfriend. I know I was and still am—all I do is lay down in bed all day and do homework. Who can love a person like that, am I right?" The brunet played it off as a joke, but he truly meant it. All he was as of recently was a hindrance. A chronically ill hindrance. "Don’t worry, come March, I’ll be out of Inaba for you guys to enjoy yourselves. No more wet blanket transfer student to baby." 

[inxparadisum-blog]

Maybe he should have started some idle conversation before breaking this sort of news to his boyfriend--He hated being abandoned, yet here Noel was doing that exact same action unto him. He didn't want to but...If the worlds would finally be rid of the fog that brought so much pain and trouble to the rainy little town.

"I'm sure she is to have some extra time to spend with her near and dear big bro. But the fog's getting to be far too much in the Shadow World as well...Rosa and I can't even really come out of there much of anymore." It bothered Miss Rosa quite a lot, but it didn't phase him in the least. How ironic it was, but he wouldn't actually point out that very fact--He'd like Zig to still think he was somewhat human, and not the actual monster he was.

"...I won't be coming back to Inaba every again Zig. Not even Japan...It's somewhere overseas I believe but...It's good that you'll be returning back to your classes. I'm sure all your friends have been very worried about you..." And would be perfectly fine with taking care of you once he was gone, for sure.

"I still love you very much Zig-san...But there is simply something I must do to help you and it means being away from you...So please--I ask you to find someone else to replace me with in your heart...I was never worth the effort of falling in love with...So I'm sorry I stole you away from so many nice people who loved you far more than I could ever hope to." He gave a smile, even though he was crying. "Just think of me as dead, and it'll be for the best. I'm better off that way for doing this to you Zig-san. I--I'll just leave before I say something more I'll regret."

[inxparadisum-blog]

Hesitant Goodbyes // P4 AU

[bethelastranker]

Things couldn’t be much worse for the chronically ill transfer student. Yeah, everyone besides the first two victims were being saved thanks to the Investigation Team’s efforts, but something kept happening as a side-effect. Whenever Zig would remain in the Shadow World for a long time, he developed a terrible cough and his mystery illness wouldn’t go away until he rested for a few days. Thankfully his teachers were nice about it, but it upset his friends the most.

Most in particular, Noel. Knowing Noel, he would be busy pinning his chronic illnesses on himself. God knows why, as his slip in health was due to stress by the doctor’s word. He was given medicine and his schoolwork in advance every time the same health drop occurred, so honestly it just became a regular part of his stay in Inaba. People came to visit him often because Tylong worked and Mena had school, so a solid chunk of time was him laying in the living room by himself.

Today marked the first few weeks of the case’s end, or limbo in his beliefs. It just didn’t seem to be over despite the silence in terms of the Midnight Channel and lack of kidnappings. He remembered seeing two people on the screen before—a little girl and a male a decent number older—and he couldn’t believe the killer’d ignore the screening despite being ungodly blurry and lasting a few seconds. But off that, he could hear someone knocking his door. “Coming.” Zig rolled from out of his blanket cocoon to answer the door. As a slight surprise, Noel greeted him rather formally. Was something upsetting him…?

"Good afternoon to you too, Noel. Mena’s not going to be home for a little while longer, so enjoy the quiet while it lasts." With that, he left Noel to close the door and fixed up the blankets on the floor so he could pull one onto the couch for him to sit with. "You seem off. What’s the matter?" 

[inxparadisum-blog]

Poor Zig, he would always look and worse with every single visit--And how he looked at the very nadir of health. That simply made Noel wants to do what he had to even more than ever. Of course then it would be even more detrimental to Zig's health...But emotional wounds would heal with all of his friends surrounding him, for sure. Noel was replaceable, for sure.

"Ah, then I'll try to keep this short--I know how much she loves to stay by your side whenever you're not feeling well." He gave a very weak smile, before sliding the door closed quietly, not wanting to make a racket in the process. He kicked off his boots near where Zig's were, and approached the living room...He would simply settle for standing as he spoke. Zig wouldn't want him by his side anymore anyway...

"Uh, well..." He scratched his cheek with his index finger, trying to figure out how to put this nicely...He wasn't going to break up with Zig. No...He'd be selfish and keep his feelings as they were. Even if his job was to be altruistic and only work for mankind's desires, he wasn't perfect. He could live on with Zig thinking he had to leave elsewhere but still hold onto his love nonetheless.

"...It's kinda complicated but...I'm going to have to leave soon. I'm needed elsewhere and I honestly don't have a choice in the matter so...I'm sorry Zig-san...I really wanted to be with you longer..." He already felt himself getting teary--This hurt so much to do...But if it meant Zig and the others being safe, well it was worth the mighty high price tag. He'd always keep Zig safe, even if it killed him.

[inxparadisum-blog]

Hesitant Goodbyes // P4 AU

Things were just getting worse and worse by the day in the Shadow World--He could see that much just from how Zig would look whenever he came for a visit into the Velvet room.The fog itself was making Zig horrendously sick every single time he would go in and save someone. As admirable as Noel found the act to be...He couldn't take Zig looking so awful. Before he could only comfort the boy...

But since he learn who--No, what he was...He could do something good for all of the people in his little investigation team, as well as the rest of the human world. Besides...He wasn't human to begin with, what right did he have to fall in love with someone who was human, especially someone like Zig. He was supposed to save this world from the person trying to create the chaos in it...Noel knew that a broken deity was not a fitting partner.

Yet he couldn't bring himself to leave without a single word, even though a clean break would do best for Zig. He'd just have to keep it quick--One last selfish act before he would make an altruistic sacrifice. He knocked on the door of the Tylong Residence, sighing with each knock as it weighed more and more in his heart. How was Zig going to take this news? He breathed in a deep breath, before putting on a fake smile that looked identical to all of his other smiles. He'd practiced for a couple nights so Zig would be fooled anyway. Thank goodness no one else would be home today--Tylong might beat him to a bloody pulp for breaking up with him. When the door slid open, he kindly greeted his soon to be ex-boyfriend.

"Good afternoon, Zig-san."

[inxparadisum-blog]

Also, if anyone has been curious of my whereabouts lately, I've made a personal--I'm usually goofing off on there. Expect a lot of fandoms and writing--And it's nsfw ish. I tag everything and stuff so blah de blah. 

[bethelastranker]

"I’m aware me being the shadow of Kraft does not mean much in terms of attitude. However, my actions are less than savory. Besides my conversation skills, everything else about me is not an item you’d mention to anyone else. Kraft is the person everyone likes—besides you, no one would ever give me the time of day." Volker sighed, more than aware everyone but Noel would always hate him. Even Kraft was wary. "Relatable? But I thought you believed life is precious—-how could you relate to a thing which takes lives away? I apologize, but you shouldn’t love me. There’s no point. I’m not worth your attention." The ice barrier holding him down suddenly disappeared. He tried to get up, but he lost his balance and fell back down. ‘Twas inevitable. "Kraft has a small sense for death, you know. He’s seen it so many times to notice signs or if someone’s gone missing. What his mind would forget, his feelings wouldn’t." Volker stood up thanks to Noel, although he stumbled standing on one and half feet. "I don’t deserve happiness. Kraft does. He worries about me, so I’ll willingly die to stop burdening him." He froze up, unsure why Noel was showing him affection now of all times. “…Am I not allowed to be selfish?” 

[inxparadisum-blog]

.

"Just because I don't happen to enjoy all of the things that you do, doesn't mean I don't have any love for you. And I would talk about you, yet not a single soul would ever care to believe me after the fact, so hush. Am I not enough for you, Volker?" He was being completely honest--But it was a mean question. Of course Volker wanted far, far more than just the hunter...He wanted a life, one that he could call all his own, without anything like another part of himself keeping him tethered. "One facet of your personality is the only real thing that makes me awkward around you. There are many, many things Eros does that Zig doesn't like in the least, yet he still loves him. And the same applies to you and I, no matter how much you deny it. And I deem what is and isn't worthy of my attention, so hush." He smiled softly. "Hence why I wouldn't do it unless completely necessary." He held up the other by wrapping his arm around the other's waist. He sighed, moving his free hand to cup the side of the shadow's fading face, meeting his gaze with a sad smile. "He worried because he cares about you. Just like me." He pressed his lips against the other's forehead, before speaking again. "And well, my rare bout of pleasure cancels it out. So stay with me, please?"

[inxparadisum-blog]

[/nuzzles Noel's shoulder then proceeds to fall asleep on his lap.]

"You picked a pretty bad place to fall asleep y'know. Idiot." He chuckled, playing with the ranker's hair, and then pulling him into his arms, bridal style. Of course he had to be out in the ranker's area the one time Zig decided to suddenly pass out--Oh well.

He wasn't gonna carry him all the way to their room in HQ. He was romantic, but he wasn't in the mood to carry his lover and kill his back. So he knew there were no rankers staying in his room at the moment other than Pod and himself...So long as there wasn't anything funny going on they would be fine. He chuckled, carrying Zig carefully, getting a laugh from the older lady who ran the little mock boarding house for the lower tiered rankers, muttering about how adorable the last ranker was with his even cuter boyfriend. Which made him laugh inwardly, before awkwardly opening the door with a free-ish hand and kicking it closed. He knew all too well that Zig was a heavy sleeper, and a tiny sound like that wouldn't wake him.

"Sorry about the tiny space but...I think you like to be close to me anyway." He smiled, pulling off Zig's boots and kicking off his own, situating the younger of the two against his chest with a contented sigh, closing his eyes. "Deep in the meadow...Under the willow...A bed of grass, a soft green pillow...Lay down youe head, and close your eyes..."

[bethelastranker]

"That’s still a broad comparison. It’s like you’re saying every two-handed fighter fights like I do. I’m not trying to argue, but that’s my standpoint." What was Noel alluding to now? It better not hurt or be magic-related… "Alright. If Last One gives you trouble, tell me. But mark my words: if this thing explodes in my face or something, you might wake up underwater tomorrow." 

[inxparadisum-blog]

"Well there aren't any two handed fighters I know, other than you and myself to be honest...They're a rare find." He chuckled  wanting the other to find out what the weapon did anytime you landed a blow against anything. He'd be amused. "Why would it give me trouble? I can fight easily with your sword y'know. I mean unless it comes to life and runs away in the middle of a fight--Paradisum's done that once. And I'm not gonna make it so it blows up, dummy. Then I lose my pretty fiance and my pretty sword."

[bethelastranker]

"In terms of skills and such, we really are opposite Noel. As you said, you’re a hunter and your fighting style reflects this. My fighting style is for literally downing an opponent without having to kill them—unless they’re attempting to kill me and a number of other people." …He could forgive Noel. For now. So long as he didn’t upset him again. "…Swimming? That’s an odd comparison, but I guess I understand. I admit I’m not sure how it works, but I can learn by myself you know." 

[inxparadisum-blog]

"But way the in which we fight is sorta similar when we get down to the bare basics of it all. But I won't argue with you on it, so you win this one." He smiled softly, before rolling his eyes a bit. "Well I'll leave you to it then. Have fun figurin' out the secrets of my swords--You might be in for a surprise whenever you hit someone or something you know."

[bethelastranker]

"I’m doing my best, alright? It’s hard to learn how to fight one way and then attempt to do the exact opposite of what you’re used to. I’m not sure about leaping, but I can move fast need be. Guess I’ll have to make it a constant item." Zig took a bit of offense to Noel sighing at him. He was trying! "I am, Noel. I made note to focus on a looser style focused on speed, isn’t that enough for now? I’m not stupid—I know how weapons work." 

[inxparadisum-blog]

"It's not the opposite actually. We effectively fight the same--I just add onto what you have to begin with. You need to relax your body. I'm not like you when you fight, which requires to hit to really hurt an opponent. It's made for huntin'." He smiled, trying to make up for his little moment there. "You need to relax and not worry, think of it like swimming, okay? When you move int he water everything moves very smoothly...And if that's the case, do you know how my sword turns into a javelin?"

[bethelastranker]

"Tense isn’t the world I’d use. Might just be me, but I don’t feel tense fighting regularly." Thanks to Noel pushing him into an awkward formation, awkward for him at least, Zig fell down. He propped up right after, dusting off what dirt he just got on himself. "Oh trust me, I feel awkward already. I doubt the way I hold your knife’s going to make it that much worse." 

[inxparadisum-blog]

"Well s'the one I am, so listen up. My swords are made to be used with my fighting style, so you gotta learn. It's made for moving quickly and leaping into the air so to speak--So loosen up a bit, hm?" He smacked a hand to his face when the other fell over, sighing. "Well if you're gonna use my weapons, you're gonna use them properly. Otherwise I'll take 'em back. You might hurt 'em at this rate."

[tsukkidayo-deactivated20180706]

Arda $25 (or $35) Certificate Giveaway!

Guys, I know I am already hosting another Attack on Titan/Free! Giveaway. However, today I hit my biggest milestone yet and why the hell not. I am doing a 48 hours giveaway. This giveaway starts today (Saturday September 7th) and will end on MONDAY. So get to it!

The prize is an Arda Certificate for $25. I am not requiring people to follow me, but if the winner is a follower, I will send a $35 certificate code. T

I hope one lucky winner will be able to make good use of it! 

Rules

You don’t need to be following me. But if the winner is following me, I will send $35 instead a $25 code.

Reblogs only

If for some reason this post messes up the notes, I will choose the winner from my follower pool.

If you are under 18, ask for your parents’ permission to reblog this (I don’t want awkward situations)

Do not reblog to giveaway sideblogs (aka blogs ONLY used for the purpose of reblogging giveaway posts.)

Have your inbox open so I can message you if you win!

The winner will be picked at random (Using a randomizer). If he or she doesn’t reply within the first 24 hours of being contacted, a new winner will be chosen.

This will not require shipping. I will send the code through Tumblr message. 

Giveaway ends MONDAY SEPTEMBER 9TH AT 10PM CENTRAL