people are like ‘oh but you’re fine’ and it’s like yes. i am objectively fine. my work is done and i’m studying good and everything is objectively fine except for the fact that i feel like all of my tiny personal failures are going to crawl out of my mouth and drown me, all of the time, ever
i can’t think of the last time i actually failed something, even by my own standards - my creative projects all do quite well (thank you), and i haven’t gotten below a B+ in a long time, and my resume is awesome or at least has a lot of things on it considering my age and i just want to be a person i just want to be a person! i just want! to be a person, when will i BE ALLOWED to be a person and make allowances for myself so i can actually breathe instead of feeling like this whenever i actually stop to let myself feel the way i am feeling
and it sucks because i do make allowances for myself! i always give myself the time to finish a project, i finish well before my deadlines, i give myself breaks and spend time with friends and do things like ice skate and dance and write and those are things i find fun, and i meditate and read and i do things that don’t just involve donating for causes i care about - and even though i live an objectively very healthy balanced life, i’m still stressed out and feel horrible and burned out and i haven’t even gotten a 9-5 yet??? is that just who i am???
and like i’d break down except it won’t actually do me any good or make me feel any better and i’m a grown up and no one will bail me out
