Write-On

Sharing my cynical humour regarding everything

[irdreamer]

I legit have a problem

Darth Vader: Pshh phoo Pshh phoo

Sandra Bullock in Gravity: Hwooo Pshh Hwwwooo Psh

Corona patient just trying to breathe: Wahoo Phhhhhaa

Me a Misophoniac: *writes names into Death Note*

[irdreamer]

A question from a concerned citizen

What happened to those woman pushing the Herbal Life diet? They seem awfully quiet. I am interested to see how they are making any sales during the lockdown in South Africa. Could they be considered essential? I mean shouldn't we all be looking at getting in our best shape ever with all this free time on our hands. And what better way to do it than with a shake that tastes like burp. On a side note I checked out my thumbs and I have to say they are looking ripped. I do a lot of twiddling so it makes sense. Uncertainty can do that to a person.

I have a lot of confidence that we'll pull through this. However, if individuals decide they want to ignore the warnings and act like another Leroy Jenkins, then we could be looking at a society of people getting "rekt" in the same fashion as Machine Gun Kelly after Killshot. I mean it was so rough he changed genres (not that I am hating his covers to be honest as they are the best thing to come out of this lockdown).

Still, it is that bad. Quite literally people will have to change genres and by that I mean careers. Already have a few mates asking me the ins-and-outs of online teaching. Perhaps they're preparing for the possibility of losing their jobs, or worse, viewing it as the next step in their career.

It is funny how people consider the service industry as a backup option. It is just the type of service performed that changes as we get "older". Mine started off with gardening, then waitering, and finally teaching English online, which I can only describe as a glorified call-centre job. It is fun meeting people and talking to them and in some cases it would be like that. But at the end of the day, your view of that entire discussion is purely a means to make money. So long as the conversation occurs 3 times a week, you'll be able to pay your bills. These jobs should only ever be a last resort. Papa Roach would agree!

The thing about settling for such a job is that it is very easy to become trapped in them. Your body and mind both become accustomed to that mentality and eventually slip into hibernation. I remember the paralysing fear I experienced when trying to stop teaching English online. I was just so used to it. And thats the problem. Maybe it is just me, but if something stops becoming a challenge, I start getting lazy. From that point I just become highly depressed and unsatified with life. It is possible I am just not appreciating what I "have". There is a very small chance (and I mean very small) that looking to our "last resort" jobs could be the best way to help us create a buffer for what may or may not come. If thats the case, then I better start reading the dictionary to brush up on my English.

P.S. Once you read the dictionary, every other book is just a remix.

[irdreamer]

No One: .......

Literally Not A Soul: ......

People Who Don't Watch Rick & Morty: I'm pickled onion!!

[ichigoskurosaki]

Spirited Away (2001) — Dir. Hayao Miyazaki

“Once you’ve met someone you never really forget them.”

[irdreamer]

What a memory. Remember the first time watching this as a kid and being scared of being turned into a pig if I ate too much.

[irdreamer]

I think corona has brought out the entrepreneur in everyone

Don’t you find it funny that businesses have gone from “Buy this product today!” to “During these tough and difficult times many people are struggling.... Buy this product today!”. Every celebrity has shared their own at home workout routine (or have joined Tiktok), and the people who hoarded toilet paper are trying to get a refund. Never would I have thought our perception of who is important would change so abruptly. I mean, the news is flooded with reports of our doctors and nursing staff on the front lines of the war on corona virus. It is like news has never been more “real”. But there seems to be another trend... That of the entrepreneur, who has a “contact” that has over 100000 units of face masks, and 2000 litres of hand sanitiser. I think it is great for individuals to have the ingenuity to do what everyone else is doing.

On the other hand, many social marketers are using Facebook ads etc. to target people with videos of them saying that they must get with the times, and start an online business. The only drawback is that in order to find out how to do so, you have to subscribe to a monthly newsletter that keeps directing you to paying for their e-learning course which is 65% off. 

In countries where certain “non-essential” items are prohibited from being sold i.e. cigarettes, alcohol, meth :P, people have resorted to paying top dollar in order to satisfy their need. Desperate individuals are being sold cheap liquor and crappy cigarettes at the same price as Beluga Caviar. This can’t be right, but kudos to those who are making a profit. Those who are smart have turned to the pineapple beer recipes instead (which basically tastes like vodka and juice).

I suppose, in a time where job security has decreased by tenfold, we can at least take pleasure in knowing that this year couldn’t get any worse 

*cue in alien invasion*