Iron Age Shitposting

[irondruid-ism]

Atticus: I am not out of control! I am a law abiding citizen!

Hal: Really? Name one law!

Hal: ...

Hal: ...don't kill people?

Atticus: That's on me. I set the bar too low

[irisharchaeology]

From a 9th century Irish manuscript, the phrase ‘massive hangover’ (Latheirt) written in the ancient Irish text Ogham. The monk must have been having a very rough day…..

Source 

[be-bhinn]

The exact translation is “ale killed us” which is somehow better

[irondruid-ism]

Owen: I know you snuck out last night, Siodhachan.

Atticus: [thinking] Play dumb.

Atticus: Who's Siodhachan?

Atticus:[thinking] Not that dumb!

(Source: Into The Spiderverse)

[hansdampfinallengassen]

Atticus O’Sullivan and Oberon.

From Kevin Hearne’s The Iron Druid Chronicles.

[irondruid-ism]

Atticus: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Owen: -grabs the bottle and chugs- It's perfume.

(Source: John Mulaney)

[irondruid-ism]

Hal: Where’s Atticus?

Owen: Probably off somewhere dissapointing Jesus

(Source: Psych)

[irondruid-ism]

Atticus to Leif: Live each day as if it were your last, ‘cause I’m gonna kill you but I’m not super good with schedules.

(Source: Twitter)

[irondruid-ism]

Granuaile: Um, why is Leif tied to a chair?

Atticus: The question you’ll soon be asking is, “why isn't he gagged”?

(Source: Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

[irondruid-ism]

Atticus: Sorry I was late. I was… doing things.

Leif: [slams open the door, noticeably disheveled] HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS!

(Source: Tumblr)

[irondruid-ism]

Atticus: What up? I’m back.

Granuaile: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.

Atticus: Death is a social construct.

(Source: Tumblr)

[irondruid-ism]

Oberon: Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?

Atticus: No, I said “Oberon, don’t lick the swing set”, and you said “don’t tell me what to do” and then you licked the swing set.

(Source: iCarly)

[irondruid-ism]

Atticus: When you turn 18, people are gonna try and tell you to buy drugs or cigarettes because you can. No. You know what else is legal to buy at 18? Blades. Get yourself a damn sword. A big knife is also okay.

(Source: Tumblr)

[irondruid-ism]

Oberon: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Atticus: Thanks, but I was kind of expecting a girl.

Oberon: Seven years we’ve known each other, and now you don’t want to see me jump out of a cake? You insult me!

(Source: Hark A Vagrant)

[irondruid-ism]

Atticus, after Hermes said they were leaving: But what if I have a bitchy opinion or comment?

Hermes: Just whisper it into the wind, and if it’s juicy enough I will hear it.

(Source: Odd Mom Out)

[irondruid-ism]

Granuaile: If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending matter, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.

(Source: Tumblr)

[irondruid-ism]

Atticus: I am the sand guardian! Guardian of the sand!

Granuaile: Poseidon quivers before him!

Atticus: Fuck off!

(Source: Vine)

[irondruid-ism]

Atticus: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than ‘fuck’.

(Source: Tumblr)