Charles took a deep breath to calm himself. He knew this was the right thing, but that didn't stop it being scary. But it'd be worth it, to protect Edwin and Crystal.
"Excuse me," the dark haired woman he called to turned round with a smile, before a shocked look took over. "I think it's high time I moved on. 8 do have a question first though, if that's alright?" He dug his hands into his coat pockets to disguise their trembling as he plastered a smile on.
Death centered herself. "Charles, this is a surprise. You have a question, go ahead."
Glad that she brought it up first he charged on. "I assume you know of my friend Edwin. He got sent to hell on a technicality. Any chance that can be fixed? He definitely isn't for hell."
There was a pause while the woman thought. "That I determine upon meeting people. I'll admit, it's unlikely he'd be designated for hell if it wasn't for his sacrifice. And if he chooses to leave here through me, I'll make sure he's properly assigned."
Charles couldn't help the trembling breath that escaped. "Oh, thank God. I just need to..." He realised he'd intended on moving on now. "Shit, can I - sorry, didn't mean to swear, honest - can I write a letter and post it? I just need to tell Edwin that before I move on. Surely there's a postbox nearby..." He looked about.
"I can't help but wonder, Charles, why you're ready to move on?"
His excitement at finding a way to keep Edwin out of hell - his kindness would definitely prevent it, as long as he went directly with Death - passed quickly as he remembered.
Remembered the blackness, the hopelessness. The odd visits from the demon who had replaced him to steal more information and details from his mind before he'd finally escaped. Just to find that months had passed and his friends hadn't noticed.
How bad did someone have to be, to be replaced by a demon for months on end and have no one notice? A few comments had been made about his improved performance, but otherwise nothing. Well, the Night Nurse had said 'Welcome back. It's about time' but he never knew for certain if that was related to the demon replacement or not, given he came to in the middle of a case with Edwin and Crystal. That he'd promptly messed up due to knowing nothing about it. Meaning it took longer than it should have. He'd been too afraid to ask.
He spent a month or so waiting to see if anyone said anything about him finally being himself. Instead Crystal complained about exams and uni applications and Edwin was distracted with some Irish boyfriend he'd managed to get in the months Charles had been gone.
He'd tried to convince himself it didn't hurt. That it was a good thing that the demon had caused so little damage. Until he started wondering how bad someone had to be, how incompetent and stupid, that you could be replaced with a demon trying to sabotage investigations and have no one notice.
Eventually, he couldn't go on wondering how poorly he usually performed his work. Better to leave and ensure they're safe. He'd left his bag, they'd figure it out eventually, and told the Night Nurse he was moving on but would do it with Death herself.
Fortunately in his case, though unfortunately in general, a huge fire had taken over an older set of flats. After helping who he could to get out, he tracked down Death. Leading to where they were now.
Charles wasn't sure what showed on his face, but eventually Death asked "are you sure, Charles? You and Edwin are doing good work. It does help me a lot, you know. It's why I've never tried tracking you down." This was surprising to him. She knew about them? He shook his head.
"I'm sure. I'm dangerous, and not helping. Edwin can do it on his own more easily without me. He just -"
"CHARLES!"
Edwin was the last person he expected to see. Especially running towards Death.
His arm was grabbed and he was flung behind a babling Edwin. "No, no. I won't let you take him. You shouldn't be allowed! We're working for the Lost and Found department, we're helping you! You can't just force -"
He realised he needed to interrupt. Edwin had no idea what was going on. "Edwin, calm down." He grabbed his friend's hand and pulled the older ghost to face him. "She's not forcing me anywhere. I've asked to go."
A second later, he realised this was not the right thing to say, as Edwin's eyes filled with tears.
"What? Why? I... What happened l, Charles? I can help fix it, we can..." He trailed off. Charles could only smile sadly.
"I want to know why too." He frowned at the woman.
"I told you, I'm dangerous and a liability."
"Nonsense. I've no idea what got in your head, but you're not and YOU aren't taking him." An accusing finger was pointed at Death.
"Edwin, mate, she's actually really cool. She's actually deliberately not been tracking us down cause we've been helping her get people to move on." This didn't seem to be convincing.
"I tracked her down, because, well..." How did you say that you'd found out you were evil due to being replaced with a demon? Perhaps just outright?
"I know you tracked her down! The Night Nurse told me you'd handed in your resignation and had left as you would only move on with Death herself! Where has this nonsense come from?"
"I'd quite like to know that too," Death said with a slight smirk. He couldn't help but frown.
"I already told you."
"You told me that you were replaced with a demon for a few months and no one noticed. That's all I really picked up, I'm afraid."
"What?" Came the horrified voice from next to him? "Replaced with a demon? Where has this come from?"
With a sigh, Edwin was told the same thing as Death had been. The reaction was not the same.
"No, I... I would have noticed if you'd been replaced! That's impossible."
"Well, I know I was kept in some weird black hole limbo for several months. So it happened." Immediately, he felt bad about the snarkiness of his voice and flinches. This was part of the problem. He took his anger out on everyone, even those who didn't deserve it.
He didn't get to apologise before Edwin moved his hands, still holding Charles', in order to clench them tightly.
"I'm so sorry. Charles, I... I won't ask you to forgive me, but please, I beg you - give me a chance to make this right! To prove that I know you and care! Please!"
This was confusing. "What - why are you apologising? You did nothing wrong."
"Nothing wrong?! You were apparently locked in another dimension while a demon with your face sabotaged our investigations and I noticed nothing! I've known you for over 30 years, and I didn't even suspect! Of course I must apologise." The tears looked odd with the indignant look on his face.
"I'm... No. I'm the one whose personality is so much like a literal demon's that no one can notice when I'm replaced! I'm the one so bad at helping with investigations that when someone with my face is mucking them up no one bars an eye! This is why I need to leave. Like I told Death, I'm -"
"No! No you're not! Our investigations would have been made more difficult because it wasn't you! Crystal and Seamus both said it was weird that you had a bag you never used - we're the ones who never questioned it! You have done nothing wrong. We..."
Edwin dropped Charles' hands at last. " Werl are the ones who were poor friends. Being so caught up in ourselves that we didn't notice your plight - and left you to... to torture for... for months... we..." Edwin's voice was breaking.
"I think," Death's voice made them both jump, having forgotten she was there. "What Edwin is trying to say, is that you're not as evil as you think you are. And that it's worth you hanging about a bit longer while you figure that out."
Edwin was frantically nodding. "Yes, please stay. Don't, don't go."
"But, but I've been -"
"You've spent months thinking you deserve hell, and finally worked up the courage to go there." Edwin's crying got louder. "But, as an official employee, let me tell you something. Often, though not always, people's perception of where they'll end up can influence their result. In your case, I don't want that happening. Give it a year or so, then reconsider. If you still want to move on, then I'll take you."
"A year, that's too long."
"No! That's perfect, thank you!" Seeing Edwin look so gratefully at Death was not something Charles had ever expected to see.
"Good. The two of you help me too much. Take the year, Charles." And before he could argue, she disappeared in a blink.
Looking at Edwin, he felt a bit lost. He didn't expect to still be on Earth right now. Edwin, who still had tears in his eyes that Charles had out there.
Already, He was messing up his year. His friend wiped his eyes.
"Come Charles. I believe we have a lot of talking to do, and at home would be best." He held his hand out, and upon taking it, held Charles hand all the way back. Almost like he was afraid to lose him.
_________
I've had this in my head for ages and needed it out. I'm sure I read somewhere that in Season 2 Edwin would have an Irish boyfriend - hence a mention of a boyfriend called Seamus (who in my head would have noticed that Charles seemed different post-replacement before the others who are too caught up in their own (after) lives. I've never watched the Sandman, so apologies for any personality issues with Death!
Feeling yappy about E4 today - especially about Charles' breakdown and them both crying....
Such a stunning delivery.. for me- literally heart in throat no breath when i watched again today! I think Edwin was so scared, confused, upset seeing Charles break down.. makes me think he rarely or perhaps never saw Charles cry before.
This scared the shit out of Edwin. Some otherworldly power comes to take him to HELL, and Charles attacks it and breaks down. Not only could he be sent to Hell, but he realized Charles is really unhappy and in trouble.
Their hearts are broken! Both of them feel helpless! Of course Edwin is crying seeing Charles like this. His amazing friend thinking that he isn't doing any good. All he does is help people and was just made to feel like a useless fuckup.
Edwin didn't see what the nurse just did.. making him relive his pain just to make beleive his worst fear.. that he isn't good, it isnt worth it..
I think if Edwin saw what Charles just went through and relived he would have thrown the Nurse off the cliff himself!
But this pain paved the way for Charles to make an absolute act of trust in Edwin & tell him properly what's wrong.
I always found it MORE profound bc Charles knows Edwin is still not telling him something. (he's still figuring things out)
When Charles does open up more -- Edwin's response is utterly perfect. "You are the best person" . Not' it will be ok', not 'what you do is good', not 'you shoudnt feel that way'.. Edwin, who KNOWS Charles longer and better than anyone, and who Charles believes is a saint.. says without hesitation "you are the best person I know"
Charles believes in Edwin and Edwin in Charles 100%.
The way Charles used the SAME WORDS that healed his soul to describe Edwin-- I'm NEVER getting over that.
Its amazing how the dark moments make their light shine, brilliant and forever.
Now i'll go cry a bit over this amazing work of art
I don't think Edwin particularly likes his own cold, self-interested analysis or his quick temper or his venomous tongue. I think he's accepted them as faults that he probably won't be able to change, but I don't think he's proud of them.
He tells the Cat King that he's ashamed of wanting to make a case for his innocence, to protect himself in the process of helping others, as though that would undo the good he does. He immediately calls himself out on his own vindictiveness when Despair tells him he was about to gloat over Simon's suffering.
I don't think he's particularly beating himself up for those things, but I do think he thinks of himself as selfish, and possibly cruel, and Charles as the opposite of those things.
Charles is the one who helps Edwin, and their clients, out of the goodness of his heart with no hope of reward. Charles is the one who had the option of heaven and chose Edwin instead. Charles is the one who never has a harsh word to say about anyone. When he says Charles is the best person he knows I think that's part of what he means: that he sees in Charles all the virtues, the kindness and selflessness, that he thinks he lacks.
(Charles, meanwhile, loves Edwin's bitchy side, and I think attached himself to Edwin at least in part because the kindness Edwin showed him in his last hours epitomises the good guy he desperately wants to be. But I don't know if Edwin fully believes that.)
I dunno I just think there's something fascinating in that - in Edwin's ruthlessness in holding himself to these impossible standards, and his view of Charles as someone who meets them.
annaxmalina
germansingergirl
gummygunk
izzy806
